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    Xanous' Dream Journal

    I'm Not Afraid of The Dark

    6 Comments
    by
    Xanous
    , 05-01-2013 at 02:19 PM (675 Views)
    #174 - 4:10AM - DEILD

    I fully intended to have some WBTB coffee this morning but I was too tired to get up. I had a micro awakening later and thought I was going for WILD but it was probably more of a DEILD. Same thing I suppose. I was actually scolding myself for being to lazy to DJ when I noticed how relaxed my body was.

    I start focusing on just pure awareness like Saegous teaches and soon notice my body feels like it is in an awkward position. I thought I was on my back and my left arm and leg was all cramped up and hanging in the air, but I knew in reality I was lying on my left side. I meditate on this for a few seconds waiting for it to change. I told myself that I didnt care if I waited all the rest of the morning, I would not give up. It was not a long wait until I notice vibrations . I decide to go ahead and make the transition out of my body.

    I was a little wobbly and with blurred vision at first but after a moment I find myself standing in the brightly lit kitchen of the old Luling house. There is fear associated with this house and I feel it like an evil presence hovering behind me. I do my best to push this thought away but I know I wont feel at ease until I get outside.There are dishes that need done and several other things out on the counter. The dream wasn't feeling all that stable so I pick up the first thing I see. A ketchup bottle. I start rubbing my hands on it like it's a magic lamp until I feel more stable. The kitchen gets dark once but I will the light back on.

    I start to go into the living room but it is too dark and I hesitate. I realize that I have really have a dream phobia of the dark and getting this issue under control is a big goal this month so I said, "Fuck it."

    I step into the total darkness and soon begin to make out shapes and some dim faint light. I look straight up and find the ceiling fan. I reach up and grab the chain right away and pull. The light comes on perfectly. I looked around and saw the living room. It looks pretty much the same but the furniture is a little different. I see an infant laying on the back of the couch asleep. I hover over it to see if it is my son but I do not recognize him/her so I go outside.

    As I open the front door I notice that it is dimly lit like dawn or twilight. It's light outside! Lacking any real goal now, I decide I want to try producing fire from my hands again. I hold one finger up expecting to see a flame. I can hear something like the roar of a large fire but only see a clear energy like heat vapor from and invisible heat source. I try all five fingers on my right hand but all to the same effect. Then I switch to producing thick black smoke but the dream suddenly collapses and I wake up.

    I later have the most vivid non lucid sex dream with my wife. I could decribe it as if it happened in waking life. Unfortunatly the alarm went off a little too soon.

    Between snoozes I had another dream of getting pulled over. I was speeding because I was late for work and the cop was taking forever to come to my window.
    CanisLucidus likes this.

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    Updated 05-01-2013 at 06:22 PM by 5967

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    Comments

    1. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      Congratulations on the LD! I am just so impressed by your consistency and performance, man. It

      You know, one of the advanced Tasks of the Month is: "Advanced Task ii - Light yourself on fire in front of a DC. Describe the reaction." May be a perfect one for you! Throw back an L-DOPA cap and let the good times roll.

      I told myself that I didnt care if I waited all the rest of the morning, I would not give up.
      This is the perfect attitude, IMO. It fosters exactly the sort of relaxed, determined awareness that fits so well for a WILD. I found that when I set deadlines for myself, I tended to have little mini freak-outs that would usually result in insomnia.
      Xanous likes this.
    2. Xanous's Avatar
      Thanks. I was very pleased that I didn't use any suppliments prebed or otherwise. I was starting to wondering if I was dependent on them. Though they do makes think easier, it's good to remind myself that I don't need them.

      I haven't looked at the tasks yet. Sounds interesting!

      I agree. That attitude is really important. It's just not always so easy when you know there is an impending alarm clock waiting to end your dream time.
      CanisLucidus likes this.
    3. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      Ah cool, supplement-free! See? They're just extras. They can enhance your experience and complement your abilities, but that's it. There's no magic lucidity pill, at least not today.

      Speaking of which, I am thinking that I will incorporate some caffeine on my G night tonight. Not much, maybe just a single bag of green tea. That should be somewhere in the neighborhood of 30mg of caffeine. Hopefully just enough to help me make sure that I bridge to a WILD. While it's definitely possible to hit nice DILDs with G, the WILDs are IMO where it's really at.

      Also, almost forgot to compliment you on taking charge in the dark and not getting nervous about it. Like the title says, not being afraid of the dark is very liberating.

      If the worst case scenario is that we're going to wind up in the void, that's not even something we're scared of anymore. Feels nice.
      Xanous likes this.
    4. Xanous's Avatar
      I totally agree!

      That would be interesting with galantamine! You're not worried about too much insomnia? Well maybe after your last try you might need a little stimulant? I would do not other method with g than WILD. It's like it was made for it!

      Yes. I need to work this issue out and stop avoiding it. The void can be very useful but annoying when you don't want the dream to change.
      CanisLucidus likes this.
    5. CanisLucidus's Avatar
      That would be interesting with galantamine! You're not worried about too much insomnia? Well maybe after your last try you might need a little stimulant? I would do not other method with g than WILD. It's like it was made for it!
      Well, you know me... I'm always at least a little worried about insomnia. I'm going to include my typical 200mg of L-Theanine and just dive in. I'm hoping that with the extremely low amount of caffeine it won't do too much beyond suppressing deep sleep and slightly drawing out sleep latency.

      Either way, we'll know more tomorrow. Wish me luck!

      Yes. I need to work this issue out and stop avoiding it. The void can be very useful but annoying when you don't want the dream to change.
      I think you're clearly well on your way to having it worked out. You charged right in there... the last time I was confronted with a seriously dark room, I balked, not thinking it all the way through. Now I hope that I'll be more willing to move forward. Sometimes I'm a little bit "not myself" in an LD, so we'll see.
      Xanous likes this.
    6. Xanous's Avatar
      Good luck!
      CanisLucidus likes this.