This is weird... dreaming of dream control?

**BlueTrousers** · 08-04-2010 08:05 PM

So I could not remember my dream last night at all, unfortunately. But shortly after I awoke this morning, I decided to fall back asleep. I had a strange dream that I plan on getting into in another thread, but the strangest part was that after what seemed like an entire sequence, I came to the realisation that I was, in fact, dreaming. I told myself "Oh my god, this is a dream!" yet my excitement level was not even close to enough to destabilise or even change the dream at all. Because then, I looked around, looked at myself (i nearly always dream in the third person) and decided "oh god, I've lost my grip on reality. This isn't a dream. This is real"... I managed to convince myself that I was going mad-- that it was in fact reality, and that I for some reason was having difficulty distinguishing. Now I found this interesting for two reasons. One-- I wasn't sure if I was controlling it, or not. I can't seem to tell if I had decided that or if I had only dreamed it. Two-- It sort of intrigues me why I would possibly either forfeit control, or go through the length to convince myself I wasn't dreaming.

Background-- Newb to forum, not a newb to lucid dreaming. Except that I've only had one. Not sure that I'd count this one at all... it seemed more like dreaming of control than actually having it.

But I do love the idea of dream logic. It's sort of fascinating, the conclusions you draw and the things you accept that make sense at the time. This did cause an eerie awakening though. At first I felt normal, but as the dream flooded into my memory, I had to do a few reality checks while I was groggy. (I never do the mirror one because I fear seeing something disturbing! D: ) I'm also sort of concerned that this may spiral into a pattern and I'll lose the ability to control my dreams at all.