Staring at your hands doesn't give you more control or power necessarily. In order to get control you need, and i hate to say it, but you need expectations. I used to be in your situation where I never thought that I would be able to do much. In every lucid dream I would try to fly. I would jump in the air time after time, but it never worked. Finally after about 5 more lucid dreams, I realized that just jumping in the air wasn't going to do it. In my next lucid dream I went into the backyard of my house, and I prepared myself. "Aright man, this is a dream, you can do anything." I then closed my eyes while still focusing on the dream(closing your eyes is a bit risky unless you know how to do it right). As I closed my eyes, I felt my dream body. I knew I could do it. I jumped into the air once more and as soon as I did I simulated what it would feel like to fly, and I imagined my self doing it.
I opened my eyes a few seconds later, and I was soaring through the sky, going higher and higher above my back yard until I couldn't see it anymore.
My point here is, you have to have a mix of expectations and also know your ability. Doing RC's doesn't really give you power, the awareness does. That being said, some people do RC's robotically and sometimes it will get them lucid, but they won't be fully aware. For me, all stabilizing does is ground me to where I won't wake up, and it also tends to make everything more vivid. You have to know for sure that you are dreaming and feel that you can do anything.
I think alot of LDers would agree when I say that yes, everything gets better in your LDs over time. If you chase any problems that you face with your LDs, such as vividness or duration, and you find out why you are having those very non-vivid or short LDs, you can fix them. This makes you realize why those things are happening. For instance, I used to have only 5 minute long Lucid Dreams. I later realized that there were a few factors that were tripping me up. 1) I was allowing my emotions to take over 2) I didn't stabilize right and 3) I was never fully aware within the dream. Believe it or not, those are very vital to extending duration in your LDs. Anyways, if you have a goal to get better with Lucid Dreaming(like most of us do) then yes things will get better. However, I think alot of us will still be improving even as we get more experienced.
In the end, some people say that you can never get full control easily. I vote against that. Why would you not be able to? Its all in your head right? I'll leave you with this Ruby, if you want control, take it. I hope you understand what I mean by that.
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