cheating boyfriend dreams

**Shylin** · 10-14-2010 07:36 AM

last night i dreamed that i was at my boyfriends house and everything looked normal, i was sitting on his bed but he wasn't in the room, his brother was playing codmw2 like he always is. they share a room. his brother turned to me and started telling me how my boyfriend was cheating on me with another girl. i immediately got upset. i knew i was dreaming. i don't remember what all happened now, but several different people in the dream told me they saw him kissing another girl. i don't know what her name was i just remember it was something with an A. i kinda woke up. then i went back to sleep. the dream picked up where it left off. and he had come back into the room with me and i confronted him about the other girl. he told me that he didnt love her and that she didnt mean anything to him that he loved me and not to worry about it. i was mad. he just patted me on the shoulder. then we were going to a carnival. we were riding rides, playing games but i don't remember what or which ones. then suddenly he was gone. i don't know where he went. so i left the carnival and went to my grandma Nanny's house.( she passed away in 2007, and her house was torn down this last may) i was sitting on her back porch swing. the porch is enclosed but there are like screened windows all around the top. it was supposed to be all white but in the dream it had random blue places. there are three doors into the porch one leading from the driveway, one leading to the back yard and one leading into the house. i didn't go into the house. i was swinging by myself when my boyfriend came threw the door leading to the back yard with the girl he had been cheating on me with. i couldn't see her face. but she was probably 175 180 pounds. he had his arm around her shoulders. this is when i woke up.

i was very mad and upset and crying in the dream. i don't know why i keep dreaming about my grandma's porch but the last dreams i have had that i remember i was on her porch at some point during the dream. i don't remember actually seeing anyone's faces in the dream except my boy friend and his little brother.
i am 20 years old and live with my parents, my boyfriend and i have been dating for over 2 years now. we have had some problems in our relationship but never about cheating or anything like that. he just bought my engagement ring but we dont plan on getting engaged just yet. he found the perfect ring and didnt want it to get away so he bought it for later.

any help would be great thanks

**Maria92** · 10-14-2010 09:37 AM

It's just a dream. It doesn't mean anything. Don't let it affect your life.

**Burned up** · 10-14-2010 10:01 AM

@mario92 - I think a more relevant reply in a Dream Interpretation forum would be reasonable, no?

@Shylin - The worry and distrust you experience in this dream comes from your own fantasies and we don't know the extent to which it's based on real evidence you may have picked up about him. But let's go with the first. In the first instance, your worry is that you might not be as special to someone as you would like to be. Maybe it's something from childhood - concerning your father perhaps? Anyway, it sounds like an insecurity on your part that's playing itself out in the dream.

I think it's important to detach the insecurity, which is entirely your own, with the object of the fantasy - your boyfriend. Your own feeling will be hard to shift and you may find yourself always worrying about relationships through life, whoever the other person is. Trouble is, you may find yourself looking for evidence of disloyalty all the time, which can be very stressful.

I think this is an important dream because it tells you how you habitually think (or potentially think) when in an intimate relationship.

**Shylin** · 10-14-2010 10:19 AM

well i was thinking it might have been created in my mind because two days ago my boyfriend had a similar dream, but in his dream i left him. and that he sat in his room for three years. then we met again and realized we loved each other. and it wasn't my dad i know my dad loves me. i believe i have slight abandonment issues. my Great grandpa died when i was three. i remember the last time i saw him and it was as they were taking him out on a stretcher unconscious and i tried to say bye and the ambulance guy said he couldn't hear me. he passed away in the hospital three days later. i know im insecure too because im a little over weight, but i didn't know it would affect a dream like this.

**Maria92** · 10-14-2010 10:59 AM

Originally Posted by Burned up

@mario92 - I think a more relevant reply in a Dream Interpretation forum would be reasonable, no?

Normally I don't get into dream interpretation (as I personally view interpreting the dreams of others as a load of dingo's kidneys), but in this case, there actually are real life consequences that stand to be inflicted from looking too far into this dream. If one frets over this mental flight of fancy, it stands the potential to cast doubt upon the relationship as a whole. The collapse of a relationship over a dream is absurd, but I've seen them crumble over less. Dreams are powerful, and they must be kept in perspective. Any little thing can trip any dream.

To the OP: only you are equipped to accurately interpret your own dreams, and you seem to be doing a good job of it. Please carry on, but remember that it is only a dream. I wish your relationship a lifetime of happiness and success.

**Burned up** · 10-14-2010 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by Shylin

well i was thinking it might have been created in my mind because two days ago my boyfriend had a similar dream, but in his dream i left him. and that he sat in his room for three years. then we met again and realized we loved each other. and it wasn't my dad i know my dad loves me. i believe i have slight abandonment issues. my Great grandpa died when i was three. i remember the last time i saw him and it was as they were taking him out on a stretcher unconscious and i tried to say bye and the ambulance guy said he couldn't hear me. he passed away in the hospital three days later. i know im insecure too because im a little over weight, but i didn't know it would affect a dream like this.

Hi Shylin.
There's a lot written about security/insecurity. We have no way of really knowing if your dream relates to this aspect of personality, but it's worth keeping in mind. The fact that you feel your weight might be a reason for people not appreciating you suggests there's something going on in that field. Yes, abandonment issues, I think that's the same kind of thing and the story about your great grandpa sounds like a powerful reminder to you of how that felt.

Also what you say about your boyfriend's dream may have some bearing - I certainly find in dream forums that I dream of some things I read from other people's dreams. "Stuff" from our unconscious seems to have a subtle power to resonate in other people.

Sounds like you have a good relationship with your boyfriend. I guess the challenge is to separate what's in the relationship from what's in your mind. That's harder than it sounds, because we rely on intuition a lot in relationships, not being mind-readers and all that.

PS it's 11am in the UK - what time is it in the middle of the USA then when you posted your reply?

**Shylin** · 10-14-2010 11:30 AM

Let's see it was 4:20 am in southeast Missouri now it's 5:30am apparently I'm not gonna dream tonight

I apperciate the help because I was curious. Though I stil wonder why I keep dreaming of my grandmas Back porch not the house just the porch even though I know it's not there anymore. My boyfriend lives up the street from where her house was.

**Burned up** · 10-14-2010 05:45 PM

Well there will be some reason why you dream of the back porch. You will associate it with some memory or memorable feeling.

Now I think of it, I dream of my parents' front room much more than any other part of the house, and much more than anywhere I've lived since leaving home. I guess we can't know everything.

And, hey, dreams are cool but sleep is kinda important too

**Shylin** · 10-15-2010 04:34 AM

hey you know i think your right. i loved my grandmas back porch. i spent every weekend with her growing up and that is were i rode my first tricycle. one summer we hooked a playstation up to a 13 in tv and played games all summer out there.
sleep is really important especially since i have a job interview tomorrow morning at 9:30am so this is good night and maybe i will have dreams with no meanings

**Burned up** · 10-16-2010 05:58 PM

Thanks for checking back in Shylin. I hope your interview went well. Sounds like that back porch was a "safe place to play" - and could well be a place in your dreams that represents your childhood feeling of security and social development.