Dreams about my deceased mother

**dwingrider** · 01-30-2014 04:57 PM

My mom passed away 3 months back after battling cancer for almost a year. I was with her for the entire duration and by her side when she breathed her last. We all knew her time was near and I had talked about everything with her and had left nothing unsaid.

For the first month or so that she was gone, I never dreamt of her. But in the past 15 days or so, I have started dreaming about her a lot. In most of my dreams-I am doing something mundane around the house or going shopping at the local market (just daily stuff). And she is always there in the dreams as if everything is fine. At some point in the dream though I tell her to take it easy or feel worried that she is overexerting herself. And then maybe my subconscious mind kicks in and she tells me she is tired and needs to rest. The dream doesnt go anywhere after that. I have been having these dreams almost every night for the past week or so.

What do these dreams mean? I know I am missing her terribly. But why am I having these dreams now?

**bladewind** · 01-31-2014 06:27 AM

i wouldn't read too much into it, your just missing her, and so your mind is trying to fill the gap, it will become less frequent. id figure that you didn't have the dreams for the first month or so because it was too painful/confusing for your mind to handle. the part about you noting her tiredness may be that you feel that you could have done more for her before she passed, but i wouldn't focus too much on that.

i am sorry for your loss by the way, i figure you have probably heard that alot, but at least you were lucky enough to be able to have everything said before she passed. best of wishes

**Maple Spook** · 02-03-2014 07:55 AM

I can agree that your subconscious could be providing these dreams, but, then again, your mother could be coming back to communicate with you. I've experienced some of that. Perhaps you should prepare yourself, and try and remember to ask her if she is really around. You should also try to get a sense between a lucid dream and a normal one.

My best wishes, and tell us what you find out - I want to know, because I also lost someone recently.

**saraeluu** · 02-03-2014 04:03 PM

If this were my dream, I'd think of it as my subconscious trying to process the very confusing and painful idea that my mom had died. Initially my subconscious would still think that she was around, well, as if nothing had happened, and wouldn't that be nice? But part of me would feel worried about her, knowing that she wasn't supposed to work so hard anymore. I would realize that she was tired and needed to rest. Battling cancer must tire someone's body and soul, and after a while the person is too "tired", weak to keep going. I would try to make peace with the fact that she was tired of her long battle, and it was time for her to go, to rest in peace.

My best wishes, and condolences,
Sara

**Darkmatters** · 02-03-2014 05:02 PM

^^ Yes. I had exactly the same kind of dreams you describe after my mom passed. And like youm it took some time before I began to have them. This is natural - what we call 'day residue' actually doesn't normally work its way into our dreams for a few days or a week or more, and I thin especially if it involves some powerful emotional content that's hard to face, it takes longer for the subconscious to begin to process it.

It takes some time to accept and digest the fact that she's really gone - in fact in some ways I'd say you never really do. The dreams are your mind working its way through this process. But trust me, this phase will pass and the dreams won't trouble you anymore.

**Maple Spook** · 02-03-2014 06:18 PM

Saraeluu and Dark Matters, so you think this is all the subconscious, as opposed to her coming back?

**Darkmatters** · 02-03-2014 07:31 PM

What's important is what you honestly believe.

Personally I don't believe in spirits returning, so I work things out in psychological terms, but if you do believe, then spiritual terms would work better for you. I think people need to process things in whatever way is most meaningful to them.