Hi again,
I’m glad that I gave you some ideas to think about regarding your relationships in general as well as the recent one.
It’s interesting that the image of the guy was photographically exact because a reliable rule of thumb is that only about 15% or so of the dreams that contain images of those we know are about our relationships with them. The other 85% are about inner aspects of ourselves.
The question of whether a person we see in a dream is “subjective” or “objective” is discussed in a very useful chapter on dreams which can be found in analyst Mary Ann Mattoon’s, “Jung and the Human Psyche: An Understandable Introduction”
Also as MoonageDaydream says, there are many subtle aspects of dreams which can make them very difficult to analyze, so great care must be taken when doing so.
As far as animals in dreams go, they usually symbolize the instincts and at times some part of ourselves that is not yet “human”, that is, conscious and under our control.
So my personal view is that if an outer person was actually pictured in a dream as an animal per se, the dream would be identifying the fact that he or she was “inhuman” or “non-human”, e.g. a psychopath, and that this would be, of course, an extremely rare occurrence.
On the other hand, if when thinking about the image of an animal in a dream, the image of a person known to the dreamer came spontaneously to mind (i.e. was “associated” with the image), it could be that the trait or behavior etc. about which the dreamer was possibly too unaware (unconscious like an animal), might appear somehow in the way the outer person acted at times, and this might also come to mind to show what was meant by the image of the animal.
But getting back to this dream, it looks like the dream was trying to show you the basic reason why you were attracted to this particular man, namely, that he was sad.
The dream might then have shifted to his image representing the “inner man” (your friend whose face you can’t see) and this inner man actually affects your choice of men by making them look “fascinating” in various additional ways as mentioned before.
Unfortunately, it looks like your “inner man” currently consists of, in part, a sort of “running commentary” of negative opinions and judgements about yourself which you described in such phrases as “I can never be enough”, “I was always the placeholder”, and “I feel dispensable”.
This could be what kind of “controls you” too much of the time and to escape which you understandably want to get lost in the powerful emotional release of falling in love.
From what you’ve written, this has ended twice in very painful situations, so the need does appear to exist to explore why this happens in order to avoid it in the future and to find instead a lasting relationship.
Also, in a symbolic way, it could be that your inner man is “sad” because his assertiveness potentials, for instance, aren’t strongly enough developed to help you in life alongside of your strong feeling relationship skills, so some areas of your life might seem to be a little stalled which also tends to cause feelings of maybe mostly unacknowledged sadness and frustration.
If the inner man was “paid more attention to” as opposed to perhaps helping too often certain types of “weird” and “mysterious” men on the outside, then he could help you to avoid being swept away and hurt badly later.
Gradually, your overall level of maturity which is currently strong in various areas would increase.
Just to mention that, of course, many women really try to avoid upsetting a pleasant feeling atmosphere but if this is taken too far, they can lay themselves open to exploitation by certain types of unscrupulous men.
Maybe a start could include brushing up on your assertiveness skills by reading a couple of books such as “Asserting Yourself” by Bower and Bower, and “Your Perfect Right” by Alberti and Emmons.
That way, you could learn to stand up for yourself in a diplomatic but firm way when necessary without hurting anyone’s feelings.
As far as dealing with the stream of self-put-downs that apparently flow through your head sometimes, the first step is to see them as being “not you” but a separate inner psychological figure, a “complex” to use the scientific term.
There are various psychological approaches which aim to push such an inner figure totally out of consciousness as a “cure” but in the end, it will likely come out in some other way.
If you are perhaps a certain type of sensitive, mostly inward-looking woman, you might like another approach which tries to enter into an actual dialogue with such a figure.
This shouldn’t be tried without some guidance and a very reliable book on the subject is “Inner Work” by analyst Robert Johnson. It also provides a valuable overview of how dreams should be approached in order to understand their meaning if you wanted to learn more about that as well.
Other useful books on the subject include Mary Watkins’s “Invisible Guests” and “Waking Dreams”. It is also described to some extent in “Man and his Symbols” edited by C. G. Jung.
Just as with this dream, regarding your other dreams, because a dream appears from the personal, specific ground of the dreamer’s life, it would usually be best to have all of the spontaneous memories, thoughts and feelings that come to your mind about each image and event in the dreams in order to provide an accurate interpretation, but here are a few thoughts about some very general possible meanings:
DREAM 2:
Dreams use analogous situations from the dreamer’s environment to help illustrate something of what the dreamer is going through.
In this case, a break up is involved which fits your situation.
In contrast, the girl apparently voices severe criticism of the guy’s thesis as opposed to your saying that you never sent any hate/rant posts to your friend.
Since you don’t see the girl while she is badmouthing the guy, this could possibly indicate that you’re unconscious of similar but unexpressed strong negative feelings in yourself about your friend, preferring instead to still believe that all you want to do is to take care of him.
DREAM 3:
In very general terms, a car symbolizes the dreamer’s body, their interests and how energy is used day to day.
In this case, you were in a taxi and would have been “driven along” overall by someone else. This usually symbolizes a generally “collective” and “everybody does it this way” type of attitude as opposed to a more “individual” and reflective way of “moving through activities” so that in the end, various unique potentials will be made real in the outside world.
Apparently from the dream’s point of view, some valuable parts of yourself are being “lost” in this way and you SHOULD be worried that this is happening (want to shout out of worry in the dream).
DREAM 4A :
The fact that the woman was only a slight acquaintance in the past and is not part of your life at this time points to her symbolizing a “subjective” or inner figure.
Perhaps in your upbringing, a certain connection to superstition and magic was present and though you might not consciously adhere to these beliefs at this time, it’s possible that sometimes, certain unconstructive wishes and fantasies appear (putting card in armpit and praying for luck) regarding, for example, personal relationships instead of working in a practical way to gain the necessary tools to make them work better.
DREAM 4B:
This dream where your friend appears apparently as a young and immature teen could relate to your susceptibility to “words” as you mentioned in connection with your first liaison and which probably influenced your next relationship.
This idea is supported by the presence of the laptop and a man who knows your friend and who is talking about something you can’t remember (i.e. something you’re unaware of in yourself, possibly your weakness for charming words from an attentive man).
In contrast, the other laptop belongs to a girl and shows only pictures, possibly implying that it might be better for you to trust your grounded emotions and values with which we usually assess photos instead of falling for “words” too much.
If you don’t, the implication could be that your emotions and the expression of them could become too “adolescent”.
This idea comes from the image of how your friend earlier went to the male comfort room apparently to pee.
The medical term for peeing is the “expression of urine” and this links it up to the free and open “expression” of feelings which shouldn’t be “held back”, just like not peeing can lead to serious medical problems.
However, if the feelings are generally “uncontrolled” or “adolescent”, it’s probably better to “hold them in for a while” until they can be dealt with better once things have cooled down a little.
DREAM 4C:
Maybe at this time when you’re “carrying a torch for someone” (being in love) there’s too much of a danger of yourself and others being “burned” (torch is held horizontally).
Anyway, I hope that these additional ideas can be helpful in some way.
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