Hello everyone!

My name is Marissa and i live in Florida. I keep having similar dreams and would really like to know the meaning of them. Ill give you a little back ground on my life to help with this particular dream. I have expereinced alot of childhood trauma which lead into alot of toxic relationships and have been seeing someone for the past year or so. It has been a bumpy ride. Alot because of my trust issues. I am very independent and letting people into my life is very difficult. I have been battling between a decision for a while with this relationship because I just do not know how to trust. We have known each other since we were 12 and we grew up in the same neighborhood, I am now 30 and have always been platonic friends. He is a great person and is very calming to me and at the same time with my issues that is a struggle to accept that, I always want to find something wrong to protect myself.

I will explain the dream I had last night.

I am going to refer to the guy im seeing as AC.

I went on vacation with someone I cared about. I am unsure of the destination and he was not actually present in the dream but I knew AC was who I went with. He left before I did. When it was coming close for me to leave I as at an airport maybe a train station and at this place was a rack full of my clothes and even my children's clothes. I noticed that my children clothes were baby clothes and they are no longer babies. Frantically I grab as many suitcases and duffle bags as I can and try to make sure i get all of my things before I have to go. It is giving me anxiety at this point and im freaking out and throwing these clothes in the luggage with the hangers. Even the baby clothes that my kids do not fit anymore. This part is reoccurring for me, I have had this situation with my belongings many many times for a long time in my dreams always a different scenario but still the same thing. I am never at home when this is happening either.

The next part of my dream I am at home. This place that I call my home is in the same spot as the neighborhood i mentioned that I grew up in above. The only difference is that the house wasnt the same. The house was actually similar to the duplex I lived in previous to that house. ( Alot of bad childhood experiences in that duplex). When i walked into the house It felt cold and drafty. I had this gut wrenching feeling and although it appeared clean it felt very dirty and i didnt want to be there. I walked in and my boyfriend not AC but someone else he did not really have a face, just gave me a bad vibe. He was sitting on the couch and there was a couple kids there. They felt related to me but didnt seem like they were my biological kids, they didnt really have faces either. I walked in and walked passed them all in the living room and made my way to the bedroom. I didnt feel any better in there maybe even worse. There was a bathroom in the back of the room (just like when i was kid and had bad experiences in there) and i did not want to go in there. I was looking around the room and felt so uncomfortable and out of place. For some reason I knew my boyfriend wanted to marry me but i did not want to marry him. My mind was thinking about AC and how I want to see him and tell him exactly how I feel about him, The feeling I had was very anxious like I need to go over there now. As im in the room somehow i am close to the floor and see green mold all on the carpet and along side of the walls. Thats when i decide i am leaving.

AC lived in the same spot he live in when we were kids (in real life and in my dream) and I was going to go over there and see him and be with him and feel better. I went to walk over there and my boyfriend came with me. He didnt know where i was going and we had no conversation. We walked to ACs house and I walked in the side door looked back at my "boyfriend" and closed the door behind me. I walked in and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders the house felt clean and airy and i felt like i could breath. He was laying on a white couch and i sat on the couch next to him looking at him I didnt say anything but i wanted to tell him how much i loved him and needed him and never wanted to be without him and thats when I woke up from my dream.

I have had alot of dreams about him the past couple of weeks and alot of them he is doing something that is relieving to me when i get to him.


Thank you for taking the time to read this and any response would be appreciated!!