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    Thread: Hey there :) Reoccurring dreams

    1. #1
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      Red face Hey there :) Reoccurring dreams

      Hello everyone!

      My name is Marissa and i live in Florida. I keep having similar dreams and would really like to know the meaning of them. Ill give you a little back ground on my life to help with this particular dream. I have expereinced alot of childhood trauma which lead into alot of toxic relationships and have been seeing someone for the past year or so. It has been a bumpy ride. Alot because of my trust issues. I am very independent and letting people into my life is very difficult. I have been battling between a decision for a while with this relationship because I just do not know how to trust. We have known each other since we were 12 and we grew up in the same neighborhood, I am now 30 and have always been platonic friends. He is a great person and is very calming to me and at the same time with my issues that is a struggle to accept that, I always want to find something wrong to protect myself.

      I will explain the dream I had last night.

      I am going to refer to the guy im seeing as AC.

      I went on vacation with someone I cared about. I am unsure of the destination and he was not actually present in the dream but I knew AC was who I went with. He left before I did. When it was coming close for me to leave I as at an airport maybe a train station and at this place was a rack full of my clothes and even my children's clothes. I noticed that my children clothes were baby clothes and they are no longer babies. Frantically I grab as many suitcases and duffle bags as I can and try to make sure i get all of my things before I have to go. It is giving me anxiety at this point and im freaking out and throwing these clothes in the luggage with the hangers. Even the baby clothes that my kids do not fit anymore. This part is reoccurring for me, I have had this situation with my belongings many many times for a long time in my dreams always a different scenario but still the same thing. I am never at home when this is happening either.

      The next part of my dream I am at home. This place that I call my home is in the same spot as the neighborhood i mentioned that I grew up in above. The only difference is that the house wasnt the same. The house was actually similar to the duplex I lived in previous to that house. ( Alot of bad childhood experiences in that duplex). When i walked into the house It felt cold and drafty. I had this gut wrenching feeling and although it appeared clean it felt very dirty and i didnt want to be there. I walked in and my boyfriend not AC but someone else he did not really have a face, just gave me a bad vibe. He was sitting on the couch and there was a couple kids there. They felt related to me but didnt seem like they were my biological kids, they didnt really have faces either. I walked in and walked passed them all in the living room and made my way to the bedroom. I didnt feel any better in there maybe even worse. There was a bathroom in the back of the room (just like when i was kid and had bad experiences in there) and i did not want to go in there. I was looking around the room and felt so uncomfortable and out of place. For some reason I knew my boyfriend wanted to marry me but i did not want to marry him. My mind was thinking about AC and how I want to see him and tell him exactly how I feel about him, The feeling I had was very anxious like I need to go over there now. As im in the room somehow i am close to the floor and see green mold all on the carpet and along side of the walls. Thats when i decide i am leaving.

      AC lived in the same spot he live in when we were kids (in real life and in my dream) and I was going to go over there and see him and be with him and feel better. I went to walk over there and my boyfriend came with me. He didnt know where i was going and we had no conversation. We walked to ACs house and I walked in the side door looked back at my "boyfriend" and closed the door behind me. I walked in and it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders the house felt clean and airy and i felt like i could breath. He was laying on a white couch and i sat on the couch next to him looking at him I didnt say anything but i wanted to tell him how much i loved him and needed him and never wanted to be without him and thats when I woke up from my dream.

      I have had alot of dreams about him the past couple of weeks and alot of them he is doing something that is relieving to me when i get to him.


      Thank you for taking the time to read this and any response would be appreciated!!

    2. #2
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      First off, welcome to DV!!

      Quote Originally Posted by MarissaC View Post
      I didnt say anything but i wanted to tell him how much i loved him and needed him and never wanted to be without him and thats when I woke up from my dream.
      This alone sounds like a representation of perhaps you are holding back in real life, from revealing your thoughts and feelings. I think the dream is perhaps a reminder to be authentic to your feelings, or maybe a reminder to just say what you feel!

      Perhaps this thread should be moved to the Dream Interpretation subforum, you'll probably get better answers there.

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      Thank you. How do I move it there?

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      Quote Originally Posted by MarissaC View Post
      Thank you. How do I move it there?
      Taken care of.

      Next time, feel free to PM the forum staff if you need a thread moved. You can find the staff list here, or by clicking "View Staff List" on the Quick Links list under the logo.
      slash112 likes this.
      "Going through life worrying about the little things is like cooking with motor oil instead of cooking oil. Sure, you can still probably pull it off, but it'll leave a bad taste in your mouth in retrospect." - Me, apparently

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    5. #5
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      Hi there. (First part of your post)
      I don't think you will be too much surprised by what I have to say, especially about the first part of the dream. The dream is offering you a "vacation", a break from the pain and difficulty you have already faced in your life. It then offers the now refreshed you a new start (the airport and/or train station) - even if you are returning to your life, you can return rested and refreshed. . . but you can't help yourself from panicking and grabbing all your old clothes and children's clothes. Clothes represent a few things. Someone with no clothes on is completely exposed, completely her/himself, not hiding anything. Your panic to get as many clothes as you can shows, on one level, how afraid you are to simply be yourself, to be exposed, to be vulnerable. Counter-intuitive as it is, it is also true that things that are familiar (even toxic things) can be less scary than new and unfamiliar things. So, although the clothes represent your old "baggage" (often represented in dreams by luggage), you panic and want to take it with you rather than leave it behind. Your children's baby clothes could represent a time in your life when you felt protected by being a "mother" and, having young babies, no more was required of you. Now, however, the spotlight is back on you, not as a mother, but you in your own right as an independent person, and you find that incredibly scary.

      The dream is showing you how you keep wanting to "protect" yourself by carrying around all your old baggage so you can be that person, rather than casting it off and being the real you who is underneath all the horrible things that happened to you. To move forward, you need to leave the "baggage" behind, and you will keep having dreams like this until you do. I don't know if you have been in therapy - there is something you can do with the dream's help to try and get strong enough to move on without feeling the need to hide behind old "clothes" (personas and attitudes), and that is, while you are awake, to spend some time reimagining the dream and seeing yourself at the train station and seeing all those old clothes and actually getting on the train without them. If you can get to the stage, where you can calmly and happily leave that lot on the station behind you, I think you will find the dream will also move on. It is telling you very strongly that this is a major place where you are "stuck" in your life. If you do have a therapist, it might be worthwhile doing the "leaving the baggage behind" with her/him. If you do it by yourself, don't push yourself too hard, stop if it brings too much up, maybe just try leaving some (even one thing) behind to start with. Another thing you can try is to take something you own but no longer use or need and give it to a charity shop or throw it away. As you do, remember the dream and remind yourself that you are symbolically starting to clear the baggage out of your life.

      Dreams have messages about how we can help ourselves heal and grow. Often they do that by offering choices. If you make the "wrong" choice in the dream (ie not the one that will help you move on), your dreams will just keep offering you the same choice until you reject it and choose something else, ie the choice which will help heal that issue. When that happens, you no longer need to be shown that choice anymore, and your dreams will move on to the next thing you need to heal and grow. This issue is very, very important to you which is why your dreams just keep offering you the opportunity to make a different choice, ie walk away from your old stuff. Until you do that (and I am not suggesting it is easy at all!), you will find it hard to move on and the dream will probably keep recurring.
      Darkmatters likes this.

    6. #6
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      Second part. Once again, this part of the dream is trying to help you heal from all the bad things that have happened to you and the effect that has had on your life. Everything in a dream is part of the dreamer, so the dream shows you in the place where your troubles started. It is "cold and drafty" when what we usually associate with a safe loving home is "warmth", so it is clear that your childhood home was not a place you felt safe and loved. Just thinking about it gives you a "gut-wrenching feeling" and you try and avoid thinking about it (you don't want to be there). All this symbolism in your dream seems clearly to reflect what a terrible time you had as a child, and I suspect the "bedroom" (which reflects our sexual lives) represents the trauma you suffered which has left you feeling "uncomfortable and out of place" with physical closeness with a man. You may be feeling very conflicted especially if you blame yourself at all for the trauma you suffered, or if it has left you feeling "dirty" even though you know you are "clean" (ie not responsible).
      I think this dream is clearly showing the terrible anguish you feel: on the one hand wanting a beautiful, pure, untarnished relationship (the white couch) with a very nice person who makes you feel good (AC), while on the other still being weighed down by what has happened in the past. It is like you are able to separately feel both ways of being in your dream (sick and disgusted by your trauma, but light and clean with AC), but from what you say, you haven't been able to realize that in your waking life, ie you are unable to separate the trauma and negative emotions of your past from the potential good relationship you might have with AC. As much as you want it, as you say, you still haven't quite been able to escape from your past.
      I think the dream might be suggesting that you do seek therapy (if you haven't already). I think the "laying on a white couch" where you feel safe and want to talk, is a reference to the fact that therapy might be very helpful for you, ie talking about your trauma and pain. Sometimes talking about it can help get it out in the open and lessen its effect - "lighten" the load, like in the first part of the dream. I don't know if the dream is directly suggesting that you declare your love to AC - only you know if that feels like the right thing for you to do, but the need to tell someone how you feel seems quite strong.
      I don't know whether you have anyone to talk to about your abuse, trauma and pain. Have you hidden it from the world? Is that what needing all your clothes is saying? Also, the negative family is "faceless" and when a dream makes a point about someone's "face" it can be a request from the dream for the dreamer to "face" something. Obviously, you are not denying what has happened to you because you have posted it here, but if you have not talked about it with someone "face to face", the dream might again be suggesting that this could be helpful for you.
      I know this is incredibly personal, so please forgive me, but it would seem that your ability to have a full, complete and rewarding relationship with someone (AC or anyone) has been severely compromised by the abuse you have suffered - your discomfort in the bedroom, the feeling that you don't want to be there and don't belong there suggests that, and your feelings about the bathroom (even more because of its significance in the abuse you suffered) suggest you feel unclean despite knowing it was not your fault.
      It may be that AC is the person who can really help you, as he seems to do in your dreams, and you should try talking to him in real life, or it may be that he represents the healthy person and healthy relationship that you would like to be and have rather than the "boyfriend" in the house, and which the dream is suggesting you can get help about by seeking professional help (if you have not already done that).
      Darkmatters likes this.

    7. #7
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      PS One other thing I noticed in the dream. Dreams always provide information about our health long before it gets to the stage where we become aware of symptoms. Dreams will tell you what the problem is, where it will manifest and why.
      "As im in the room somehow i am close to the floor and see green mold all on the carpet and along side of the walls."
      To me, this sounds like a health warning. I'm not sure but think this is the bedroom. If so, this would again relate to your feelings about sex, and possibly also your ability to get any real rest. You may have trouble sleeping or just feeling tired and overwhelmed a lot which would not be surprising as I think you might also feel quite anxious a lot of the time. All this negative emotion must, understandably, be leaving you feeling exhausted.
      When the floor is noticed in a dream, it is pointing to something you need to overcome, and what is there is "green mould". Mould in dreams can point to a candida albicans (thrush) infection, which you may or may not be aware of. As your bathroom figures prominently in the dream too, it could suggest that the problem is in your gut somewhere (ie colon). The "green" colour is healing, and it is the dream helping you heal the problem. The wall could likely represent the wall you have built around your heart to try and protect yourself (green is also the colour of the heart chakra), so the dream is telling you that your anxiety and negative feelings about your sexuality, possibly an inability to get proper calm rest, and the wall around your heart are weakening your immune system and allowing mould to grow. I have just noticed the bit where you say you had "no conversation" with your unpleasant "boyfriend" as well as the "I didn't say anything" to AC, so again, I think the dream has something to say about whether you are talking about your pain, and if not, maybe that you need to.
      Bless you. I hope I have not said anything too painful or horrible for you, you sound like you have suffered and are suffering enough. <3
      Darkmatters likes this.

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