Thread: Dreams of the world and rape.

It's no wonder you still dream of rape if the guy still lives beside you and you see him all the time.

Dreams reflect what you focus your attention on. Doubly so if there are strong emotional attachments. Obviously the strongest association you make when seeing that guy is rape, so just seeing him in his yard would greatly increase the odds of you having a rape dream.

I really don't know what advice to give you. Not having to look at or even think about that guy would go a long way to making better dreams. I'd say get the hell out of there, but that really doesn't sound like an option for you at the moment.

Generally speaking, one thing you could do would be to overwrite those negative associations your mind has for your neighbour with stronger more productive ones. But considering the circumstances, that's going to be a very hard thing to do. Possibly the only way to do that would be to talk with the guy, maybe get an apology and see that he feels bad about it. But that's not something I want to recommend to you, it could be even more traumatic.

First off I would like to say that I'm terribly sorry for you. Things like that are horrible even though they happen all the time. My baby sis had an experience like this and I'm going to tell you what I told her. Under no circumstances was that event ever your fault. She constantly blames herself when she shoudln't, and you should never start thinking that either. Has he been charged for this and taken to court?

Second, if it bothers you that your father is still friendly with him, tell your dad how much it bothers you. He should always be on your side and support you 100%.

Like Cusp said talking to the neighbor can be very iffy. You can have your fears absolved or they can trigger emotions that can give you an anxeity attack among other things, if that's what you're prone to. I'm not a professional but I would suggest talking to one, like a counselor.

As for the dreaming, if you've ever lucid dreamed then you'll know all about how you can control your dreams, but if not there are some great tutorials and tips that can help gain some control over you dreams giving you the power to keep every thing under control.

If you ever feel like there is no one there for you, you need to remember that there always is someone who can listen, comfort and help. I wish you the best.

In your dream you are BEGGING your parents to contact the police. Please know that YOU have the power to send your neighbor to jail or at least enormously humiliate the turd forever by reporting this POS to the police. You DON’T need your parents permission to report this ‘stard. You will suffer repercussions from fighting this monster (turning him in to the police) but you will be blessed, in some manner, for fighting evil.

The majority of states have exceptions to their statute of limitations on molestation and rape when the victim is a child.

Notice that in your dream you are having a great time with your friends and then, guess what? Your terrible trauma pops up as a rape dream and ruins your fun dream with your friends. This is a “metaphor” for what will continue to occur THE REST OF YOUR LIFE if you don’t get some mental/spiritual assistance to help you heal. These crappy thoughts are going to creep in and destroy all kinds of positive things like your marriage, you relationship with your family, your future children.

Why didn’t your priest or your mom report this POS to the police? It was abusive that they didn’t report this sack of excrement immediately to the police. Maybe you can find a HELPFUL adult to go with you to the police or to go with you to a medical/spiritual assistance center? Maybe this helpful adult can also shake some sense into your dad? Please know that you are NOT responsible for what this evil creature did to you and your priest and parents should have felt morally responsible for reporting it to legal authorities. If your father knows what this man did to you and he remains friendly with this child molester/rapist, then YOU DO LIVE IN AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD.

DO NOT CONFRONT THIS MONSTER YOURSELF. He will be full of “confusing statements” like they always are. I have to work around these POS for a living. I have seen it hundreds of times. If you confront him, he will say all kinds of things to you that will confuse you and cause you more pain. He will be full of demonic, circular logic ...”Well if this is so, then that can’t be so”.....don’t go talk to him! YOU CANNOT WIN AN ARGUMENT AGAINST PEOPLE FILLED WITH EVIL.

Please read these websites. Although the first is a veterans’ site, it provides a comprehensive explanation of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and describes the types of assistance to help PSTD.

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdo...ntforptsd.html
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topic...es/index.shtml

http://www.rainn.org/

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Yes this is obviously a dream that is focused on moral issues. You have an unresolved conflict with something that looks, sounds and appears to be your neighbor but is not. The conflict probably has to do with feeling ashamed that you were unaware of any alternative or wrong doing when you were betrayed by your neighbor. This has caused in you a struggle against your awareness of what is right and wrong, since you would have known it was wrong if you knew the whole story.

Yet you should not feel ashamed, your innocence shielded you from any harm. It is only when you accept that you are ok, that you can be ok.

That being said, it is up to you to punish those who knowingly break the law. It is your responsibility as a citizen to pursue litigation, at least notifying authorities if you do not want to incur the legal costs in a civil suit.

To Templeton......Please reread the rape victims post.....PleaseExit is having unresolved conflict (as you called them) with the RAPE and her traumatic memories of the RAPIST.....who also lives next door....................................
LORD HAVE MERCY X 12!


To PleaseExit,

If you cannot find any helpful adults in your life, call the local police station. You can even call 911 if you cannot find the local police number. Ask for the name of the officer that you are talking to. Tell them what happened to you with the evil creature that lives next door. Tell them how your parents will not take you to get healing assistance. ASK FOR A COURT APPOINTED SPECIAL ADVOCATE TO HELP YOU. If you don't hear back from a police officer within 24 hours, call again and ask to speak to a DIFFERENT officer. Repeat until you get help.

Originally Posted by Liz

To Templeton......Please reread the rape victims post.....PleaseExit is having unresolved conflict (as you called them) with the RAPE and her traumatic memories of the RAPIST.....who also lives next door....................................
LORD HAVE MERCY X 12!

I read it, and it is my opinion that this is an internal conflict. You said it yourself that there can be no closure by confronting the neighbor directly so it rests upon her to get past this trauma which is now manifested non-physically. And getting revenge for revenge's sake solves nothing but just perpetuates the myth of the victim. I do agree with you that if the law has been broken then it should be enforced, but without impudence.

To TempletonEsquire,
Perpetuates the myth of the victim???????????????????????????????????????
Contacting the police is revenge?????????????????????????????????????????
__________________________________________________ ________________
To PleaseExit,

i am a licensed mental health professional in the state of Pennsylvania and have been in practicing for 27 years. Please contact me through private messaging if you would like to talk.

Love from,
Liz

Originally Posted by Liz

To TempletonEsquire,
Perpetuates the myth of the victim???????????????????????????????????????
Contacting the police is revenge?????????????????????????????????????????
__________________________________________________ ________________

I think you are jumping to conclusions of my meaning. I have not yet disagreed with you. Could you show me where we are at disagreement?

PleaseExit,

If the the rapist/molester was a member of your family it is difficult for your other family members to call the police. The least your mom can do is to direct you to a helpful adult (it can be secret) to lead you to some mental/spiritual counseling. You won't have to reveal the identity of the rapist if your mom/dad is worried about this.

You will benefit greatly if you can talk more with a counselor....tell your mom you are having nightmares about the rape/molestation...ask her to help you.....you can find free and confidential counseling at many places.

Liz

To the question of whether this incident was reported to the authorities or not, I believe it has. The priest who got me to spill it out told it to the school principal and was required by law to report the incident to the police. The police called the household of my neighbor, and I'm not sure what happened from there. I asked my parents about pressing charges, but both have not considered that an option and have explained to me that by doing so, it would "make a mess" of the relationship between them and my neighbor's family. I'm not vengeful and dying to see my neighbor put through punishment, but I would at least want him to be registered as a sex offender in order to protect more children. I'm scared to pull through with this, and I'm unsure of where to start. Both of my parents have talked with me privately and both have adviced that I leave this incident behind and try not to think about it. This is hard though because, like I said before, he lives right next to me.

Regarding my father, he has talked to me about the incident. He left taking legal action out, but has asked what I wanted him to do about it. "Do you want me to beat him? Because I will if you want me to." And I responded that I did not want him to do that. My father then said that he had forgiven my neighbor and did not want to damage their relationship because apparently my neighbor was like a son to him. Some part of me thinks my father doesn't want to believe what that man has done, so I never brought it up with him again.

I have told my mother about the dream and she took the same of approach of "just leave it behind you". She then promised to hasten the search for a new house so that our family could move out of the area as quickly as possible since it disturbed me so much.

I still ponder on what happened in the past. How if I only had the knowledge of what was right and what was wrong back then, I could have stopped it, and I would have been a different person. It's like an anchor that's driving me down, and has ruined relationships with friends and famliy. This is the first time I've had a nightmare like this and I feel shocked by it. After reading these posts, I think that it is a combination of seeing my neighbor everyday and the "unresolved conflict" as TempletonEsquire put it.

I'll see if I can get counseling. My mother and father want to keep what happened a secret, so it may be difficult. I'd like to say thank you very much to those who have interpreted my dream and offered me advice and prayer. It's comforting to see that there's help out there and I feel better knowing this.

Never mind right and wrong, that's completely relative. There is only what is. I get the feeling you still feel you had a part to play in that scenario. If only you had done something different. I'm sure he feels the same way.

You don't want vengeance, then that's a good start. You're a better person than I am. If I had the money I'd hop on a plane today and FUBAR that mofo. The guy's not going away, so talk to him. He'll probably break down and cry (you probably both will). But you have the power to ensure that he doesn't do that to anyone else. Not the police, not your father, you.