Thread: Two of the strongest and most vivid/realistic dreams I've ever had...

To give some background information, I have known Nicky since I was 8 years old (I am 31 now). It sounds extremely cliche' but it really was love at first sight for me. I remember being frozen for a moment when my oldest sister Lynn introduced her to me. My oldest sister Lynn was Nicky's bbsitter (Nicky is only 1.5 years younger than me). It worked out so that Nicky basically lived with us for almost 4 years straight. She stayed the night over our house at least 4 days per week and also came over on fridays and saturdays too.

During those 4 surreal years, I developed STRONG feelings for Nicky, and in hindsight, I knew I was in love with her. We wern't classic boyfriend and girlfriend but we did have a relationship with each other. We acted like we didn't like each other when our families were watching but when no one was watching we were always with each other. We always found ways to be next to each other in the car, at the dinner table, on the couch, everywhere lolololololol! Typical adolescent stuff lol!

Anyways, she moved away right before I went to high school but our families remained close (even till this day). When I went to high school, I pushed her out of my mind because I didn't see her anymore. I suppressed my feelings for her whenever they would surface. I didn't see her again till after high school. We had basically gone different ways. HOWEVER lol, everytime I seen her, my feelings would come up FULL FORCE! And when they did, I would try to suppress them but I could tell the chemistry between us was still there and strong like it was something that had a permanent life of its own and wouldn't go away. This happened several more times over the next few years (most of my 20's).

The thing is, when we were kids, we never actually said we liked each other, it was just always assumed because of the way we were together. So in June 2006, I had those two dreams.

I got married when I was 24 and have two children. I LOVE my children but absolutely REGRET marrying my wife. We are just waaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy to different and have some serious issues between us. We actually split up for 5 months in 2007 but got back together and tried to work it out. She and I have had problems from the start but having kids complicated things, so it is not easy to just pick up and leave. I started falling out of love with my wife as early as 2004 because of something that happened. She wasn't faithful. I tried to forgive and I did, but I cannot forget.

There is a lot more to the story of Nicky and I and I will add on as these first two get interpreted (I really appreciate it!). In all, I have had a total of 5 super strong, vivid, and realistic dreams about Nicky. I have had many regular ones but I always ignore those. I only take note of the really powerful dreams where they seem to be reality. I've had lucid dreams too but I don't deem those important because I was controlling everything in them. But these realistic dreams leave so much of an impression on me that I actually try to get them interpreted.

If anymore info is needed, PLEASE feel free to ask!

A thirty second degree Mason at 31? Wow, I thought it took longer.

I'm going to tell you a little story. I once was on an email list, and a young woman there was talking about restringing her pendulum (something my spirit guide, Leslie, terms a "primitive divining tool"), which I gather hung from a braided string.

I asked her why.

She said because it kept giving her the same answer, not the answer she wanted.

I asked her what answer it was giving her and what she'd asked it.

She said she had been asking it whether it was okay for her to get involved with a married man, and it said no.

So, she was going to restring it, in an attempt to get the answer she wanted!

So, see, I know this story, and really, this story seems to apply to you, as I think perhaps you are hoping someone will interpret your dreams in such a way that you feel you have permission from a Higher Power to leave your wife and kids and marry someone else.

Unfortunately, I am required by my guides and by the God/dess to speak the truth as I understand it to the best of my ability, and therefore cannot do that! I am not a pendulum that might give a different answer if I am restrung, and actually, neither was the spirit controlling her pendulum. I'm sure she spent all that time rebraiding her cord, only to be given the same response!

Two wrongs don't make a right.

It was a dark and stormy night...

First, I appreciate your feedback! I didn't mention that I am NOT actively trying to be with her no matter what my dreams say. I just want to know if my dreams mean anything. If my wife and I divorce, it will not be because of a few dreams I had, not to mention, Nicky is married too (not happily). O always thought if we were ever actually to get togther, it would be when we are both much older, like in our late 40's or early 50's.

I just want to see if my dreams are trying to tell me something or if they have meaning. Nicky and I kinda of have an understanding that should we ever both be single at the same time, we would absolutely get together. However, it would be something that naturally occured, not something forced on either end.

About masonry, that is a common misconception lol! It takes only 2 days to get degrees 4-32 in the US. In england however, you can do one degree at a time.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

I just want to see if my dreams are trying to tell me something or if they have meaning. Nicky and I kinda of have an understanding that should we ever both be single at the same time, we would absolutely get together. However, it would be something that naturally occured, not something forced on either end.

About masonry, that is a common misconception lol! It takes only 2 days to get degrees 4-32 in the US. In england however, you can do one degree at a time.

Well, you know, that IS strange. I would have expected degrees to be studied and learned and given one at a time! The number 32 is a symbol for completion, and is my house number, so it always attracts my attention. My stepdad was a Mason, and I was a Rainbow Girl, and my former father-in-law was a Shriner, so I'm used to Masons. I just never knew the degrees could be conferred so quickly!

I'll take another look at the dreams with the new information, but I suspect even making like tentative future plans about what you would do if you were single, is really playing with fire a bit. Seriously. Because you need to put the energy into your family, and you and your wife need to put the children's needs first. You know that, right?

I'm just up to my eyeballs in divorces and remarriages in my family right now, and not sure it's pretty anywhere I look. I'm concerned about two sons. one who is probably about to embark on marriage # 3 at age 36 (he and his girlfriend just had my first biological grandchild), and the other who recently divorced from an 18 year marriage and married # 2 is 40. My ex of twelve years (we did hang in there until the children were all out on their own) is already on wife # 3, whom he married less than six months after the death of wife # 2. I think they're all a bit crazy, personally. Grandchildren (all the steps and adopteds) move in and out of my life with their mothers, so I don't get attached. The world was an easier place, imo, when people stayed married and took the "'til death us do part" vows seriously.

Anyway, let me go read them again, and I'll see if there's anything helpful.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

The first dream was of wife and I. We were on the Margate-Northfield (new jersey) causeway about to cross before a big storm set in. I don't know where we were going but we were just going. We were traveling by bicycle (old, sky blue, banana seat bicycle which belonged to my oldest sister Lynn when she was young). Before we got on the causeway, wife got on the handlebars of the bike. I then began to pedal feeling how difficult it was to move forward, not because she was on the handlebars, but because of the rising floodwaters. So wife got scared and wanted to sit on the crossbar. So I stopped and she got on the crossbar. At this point, we are on the causeway and I see the Sun is about to set and the waters are getting extremely rough. The water is almost a foot off the ground that I was pedaling on. Wife then wanted to sit on the back of the seat while I pedaled onward. She adjusted and I kept going except now I was super scared because the entire causeway was underwater and it looked like I was riding a bike in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean during a huge storm! The waves were huge!

I finally made it to the other side but when I got there something weird happened, Wife was not with me. On the other side it was dark and there were sections of bush, trees, and a badly worn road. The road was littered with what appeared to be super deep potholes filled with black water. It was very hard to navigate through the street. But once I got around the corner, I was in a parking lot with those orange, yellowish street lights. I was alone and was not worried or sad that Wife wasn't with me; it just felt weird. Then it switched to the next dream.!

I think that the way your wife moves in front of you on the handlebars, and then behind you in the seat probably highlights a problem in your marriage. You are playing the game of "who's on top?" Only here, it's who's in front. Who's in charge? Who has the control? For a marriage to work out, she should realistically be riding her own bicycle at your side! It's a 50/50 proposition, really. Or is supposed to be. Much like your left brain (masculine side) is next to your right brain (feminine side). So, if you and your wife could figure out how to work on that, you might find it easier going.

I'd say this game of who's in control has you fighting a lot, drowning in emotions, becoming more unconscious as it goes on. You are at sea, not on dry land. You can't keep storming at each other and expect to have a decent marriage. But you may not care about that enough to keep it from happening, as in the dream she is gone, and you don't really care so much, right? Well, because you've got someone else that you're more interested in.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

The next dream started with me lying (my feet were closest to the bottom of the stairs and my head was on a really comfortable pillow at the other end of the couch) on Lynn’s couch at her house (there was a gentle warm glow of white to everything, especially near the end part of the dream). Lynn was upstairs cleaning my niece's room and talking to me at the same time. An overwhelming sorrow was what I felt as I explained to Lynn my marriage's problems (I had my hands intertwined behind my head propping it up on the pillow; I was extremely comfortable). Then out of nowhere, Nicky comes walking out of my niece's room (from left to right), walks down the stairs all the while looking me in my eyes with this warming half-smile (she had on a white women's tank top and beige capris), walks over too me, lays right on top of me (she had both her arms folded with both her hands on my chest), looks me in my eyes (smiling fully now), says, "You see, if you had just told me how you felt about me when we were kids, none of this (pain I was experiencing) would have ever happened." She then closed her eyes and kissed me so softly and gently on my lips. The dream felt so real that I felt her body weight (she is about 5'3" 120lbs) and body heat on me. I even felt the softness, wetness, and warmth of her lips pressed against mine. Those were the two strongest and most realistic dreams I have EVER had.

For the second dream, the feelings that dream gave me didn't start to fade for at least 2 weeks. I mean, I remember how it felt now but I remember walking around feeling like I had JUST had the dream for 2 straight weeks!

This really just feels like a romantic fantasy that took hold in the dream state, and it feels like an illusion, all painted with white light that doesn't seem real, somehow, it's like those romantic photos they take and blurr them a bit to soften everything. The fact that you're both at the foot of the stairs is not a good thing, as the goal in life is to go up, not down. If you go making decisions based on this dream, then I'd worry that becoming disillusioned, which would seem to me to be inevitable, would be very destructive for all concerned. I know it's tempting... I can see that. But I think it would be a mistake that you would come to regret.

But then, maybe the other dreams you mentioned will tell you more?

Thank you! I'm at work right now so I don't have time to reply in full but I will when I get home round 10:30 tonite!

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

Thank you! I'm at work right now so I don't have time to reply in full but I will when I get home round 10:30 tonite!

You're welcome! I'll probably be in bed by then, but will check in tomorrow!

Originally Posted by IrisRavenstar

I think that the way your wife moves in front of you on the handlebars, and then behind you in the seat probably highlights a problem in your marriage. You are playing the game of "who's on top?" Only here, it's who's in front. Who's in charge? Who has the control? For a marriage to work out, she should realistically be riding her own bicycle at your side! It's a 50/50 proposition, really. Or is supposed to be. Much like your left brain (masculine side) is next to your right brain (feminine side). So, if you and your wife could figure out how to work on that, you might find it easier going.

Makes PERFECT sense and is definitely a problem.

I'd say this game of who's in control has you fighting a lot, drowning in emotions, becoming more unconscious as it goes on. You are at sea, not on dry land. You can't keep storming at each other and expect to have a decent marriage. But you may not care about that enough to keep it from happening, as in the dream she is gone, and you don't really care so much, right? Well, because you've got someone else that you're more interested in.

[b]Not so much. You see, I don't let my feelings for Nicky get in the way of anything going on with my wife. I've had feelings for Nicky for so long that they are almost like second nature to me if you will. So, even if I feel like I don't care sometimes, which you are right about, it is not because I don't have feelings for my wife because I have feelings for Nicky. I used to be MADLY in love with my wife for a really long time. I've known her since 1996. As far as my feelings for Nicky, I used to make them go away. But you are super correct about who is in control part.


This really just feels like a romantic fantasy that took hold in the dream state, and it feels like an illusion, all painted with white light that doesn't seem real, somehow, it's like those romantic photos they take and blurr them a bit to soften everything. The fact that you're both at the foot of the stairs is not a good thing, as the goal in life is to go up, not down. If you go making decisions based on this dream, then I'd worry that becoming disillusioned, which would seem to me to be inevitable, would be very destructive for all concerned. I know it's tempting... I can see that. But I think it would be a mistake that you would come to regret.

You know, I thought this too. (We weren't at the bottom of the stairs per se', I was saying that to describe the orientation of the room. We were actually on the couch. This is the way Lynn's house is set up in real life. The way I was laying on the couch, my feet were at the "stairs end" of the couch, which is how I actually lay on her couch in real life.) The soft white light was emanating from the plastic covering on her lamps which gave her house a sort of white glow. Have you ever squinted your eyes and looked at the lights in your home? Thats what it looked like. But before I reply to something you said, I'll say this. Thoughts of my dreams being fantasy/wish-fulfillment have definitely been in my head because I am a logical and skeptical person by nature. I usually dismiss most of my dreams as reflections of my daily experiences and thoughts.

But then, maybe the other dreams you mentioned will tell you more?

Now, to reply to going and making decisions based off that dream. Actually, two years later, in July 2008, I did just that. I saw her at a family function. We exchanged numbers, and I called her and told her how I have felt all those years. I thought she was gonna laugh at me and tell me it was all in my head but the exact opposite happened.

Anyways, without getting into it too much here, lets just say we got to know each other again (over the phone, I was still with my wife, and she was still with her physically abusive husband). We actually grew a little closer during that time but in the end, we both decided it was better to not have our secret phone conversations like we were since we were both in really complicated situations.

So from 2006 until recently in 2009, I hadn't had any really strong dreams about Nicky. Then BAM! I had 1 earlier this year, then 3 this month alone!

I'll post the next dream now.

This dream took place on March 9th 2009.

I was coming out of a store (It was about 5 in the evening but it was still very nice and outside like an August day), she was riding out of the same parking lot in someone else's car (2 other women in car with her, she was in back seat). She slowed down and rolled her window down. I looked over and saw her but didn't immediately recognize her because her hair was short. She smiled and nodded for me to come over to her. As I was approaching the car (car was tan), she said wow, its been a while, about a year. I said yeah, its been a good while now. She said, give me a call later tonight so we can, you know, catch up on old times and "do what we do." (She said that with a slick smile meaning she wanted to do the do lol). Then she said give me a kiss because she had to go. So I gave her a sweet and sensual kiss on the cheek, then on her lips. She said in response, you always were a good kisser (she had the look in her face and eyes like she longed for me to kiss her). I said, that's because I love you. Do you love me? She said, c'mon boy, you know I always loved you. (She said that in a tone like I shouldn't have even had to ask that question because the answer should have been surely evident to me.) Then she smiled at me and they drove off. (They turned left out of the parking lot if that means anything).

What do you think about this one? This dream came almost 7 months after I had last spoken to her. The dream just happened out of nowhere. It was one of those dreams that were not influenced by my awake thoughts.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

You know, I thought this too. (We weren't at the bottom of the stairs per se', I was saying that to describe the orientation of the room. We were actually on the couch. This is the way Lynn's house is set up in real life. The way I was laying on the couch, my feet were at the "stairs end" of the couch, which is how I actually lay on her couch in real life.) The soft white light was emanating from the plastic covering on her lamps which gave her house a sort of white glow. Have you ever squinted your eyes and looked at the lights in your home? Thats what it looked like. But before I reply to something you said, I'll say this. Thoughts of my dreams being fantasy/wish-fulfillment have definitely been in my head because I am a logical and skeptical person by nature. I usually dismiss most of my dreams as reflections of my daily experiences and thoughts.

You were DOWN stairs, and she came down the stairs. You didn't need to be literally at the foot of the stairs for it to mean what I said. I understood about the lighting. They use that effect a lot to make things look a little fuzzy and romantic. Many, many dreams are wish-fulfillment, with the opposite being dreams that act out our fears. That is something Sigmund Freud taught.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

Now, to reply to going and making decisions based off that dream. Actually, two years later, in July 2008, I did just that. I saw her at a family function. We exchanged numbers, and I called her and told her how I have felt all those years. I thought she was gonna laugh at me and tell me it was all in my head but the exact opposite happened.

Hoping to be rescued from the abusive husband?

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

Anyways, without getting into it too much here, lets just say we got to know each other again (over the phone, I was still with my wife, and she was still with her physically abusive husband). We actually grew a little closer during that time but in the end, we both decided it was better to not have our secret phone conversations like we were since we were both in really complicated situations.

Yes, I understand. But are you *thinking* about the effect of these secret conversations on your marriage? I used to watch my next door neighbor, out in his back yard, yacking on a cellphone, and wondered what was up with that. He carefully avoided the windows in the kitchen, where his wife was likely to be.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

So from 2006 until recently in 2009, I hadn't had any really strong dreams about Nicky. Then BAM! I had 1 earlier this year, then 3 this month alone!

I'll post the next dream now.

And I'll go look at it...

Okay, so it's evening, it's going towards getting dark, even though there's still enough light to see at that time in August. She is in the back seat, so she's not in control here, she's being carried by another woman who is driving the car, who may be an aspect of herself, but not the aspect who is speaking to you, who is in the back seat. Her hair has been cut, which can be a symbol for shame for a woman, like the way they shaved the woman's head in "The Scarlet Letter." Tan is a neutral color, not sure what that might mean. Then we have some suggestion of romance again. Left as opposed to right, often means going the *wrong* way. Like right is also opposite to wrong, see?

Same message, imo. But you know, it's YOUR life, and your right to do what you feel you need to do, and your right to make a mistake, as long as you understand that if it is a mistake, you'll have consequences to deal with, and in a situation like this, others may as well. I warned you up front, I'm not going to play the role of telling you what you want to hear.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

This dream took place on March 9th 2009.

I was coming out of a store (It was about 5 in the evening but it was still very nice and outside like an August day), she was riding out of the same parking lot in someone else's car (2 other women in car with her, she was in back seat). She slowed down and rolled her window down. I looked over and saw her but didn't immediately recognize her because her hair was short. She smiled and nodded for me to come over to her. As I was approaching the car (car was tan), she said wow, its been a while, about a year. I said yeah, its been a good while now. She said, give me a call later tonight so we can, you know, catch up on old times and "do what we do." (She said that with a slick smile meaning she wanted to do the do lol). Then she said give me a kiss because she had to go. So I gave her a sweet and sensual kiss on the cheek, then on her lips. She said in response, you always were a good kisser (she had the look in her face and eyes like she longed for me to kiss her). I said, that's because I love you. Do you love me? She said, c'mon boy, you know I always loved you. (She said that in a tone like I shouldn't have even had to ask that question because the answer should have been surely evident to me.) Then she smiled at me and they drove off. (They turned left out of the parking lot if that means anything).

What do you think about this one? This dream came almost 7 months after I had last spoken to her. The dream just happened out of nowhere. It was one of those dreams that were not influenced by my awake thoughts.

Originally Posted by IrisRavenstar

You were DOWN stairs, and she came down the stairs. You didn't need to be literally at the foot of the stairs for it to mean what I said. I understood about the lighting. They use that effect a lot to make things look a little fuzzy and romantic. Many, many dreams are wish-fulfillment, with the opposite being dreams that act out our fears. That is something Sigmund Freud taught.

Ohhh okay! I see what you mean now. I thought you thought my feet were actually literally at the bottom of the stairs in the dream.


Hoping to be rescued from the abusive husband?

I don't think it had anything to do with us talking to each other per se'


Yes, I understand. But are you *thinking* about the effect of these secret conversations on your marriage? I used to watch my next door neighbor, out in his back yard, yacking on a cellphone, and wondered what was up with that. He carefully avoided the windows in the kitchen, where his wife was likely to be.

During this that time, my marriage was on a super downward spiral. Remember, we got back together in November 2007, and moved back in together in April 2008. It was NOT working AT ALL. Nicky wasn't on my mind or a priority at all then. Gradually from April onwards, our marriage was really terrible. In June 2008, I really started thinking about leaving again. My feelings for Nicky DID NOT influence anything or any part of my marriage during that time, or any other time.

I love my wife, but haven't been IN love with her for years. We just are not compatible. Sounds messed up but hey, it happens and in my case, it happened for VERY good reason(s). It wasn't until the end of June that Nicky and I began talking on the phone. By that time, I had it in my mind that my marriage was going to end and I was planning on how best to leave.



And I'll go look at it...

My replies are in bold.

Originally Posted by IrisRavenstar

Okay, so it's evening, it's going towards getting dark, even though there's still enough light to see at that time in August. She is in the back seat, so she's not in control here, she's being carried by another woman who is driving the car, who may be an aspect of herself, but not the aspect who is speaking to you, who is in the back seat. Her hair has been cut, which can be a symbol for shame for a woman, like the way they shaved the woman's head in "The Scarlet Letter." Tan is a neutral color, not sure what that might mean. Then we have some suggestion of romance again. Left as opposed to right, often means going the *wrong* way. Like right is also opposite to wrong, see?

Same message, imo. But you know, it's YOUR life, and your right to do what you feel you need to do, and your right to make a mistake, as long as you understand that if it is a mistake, you'll have consequences to deal with, and in a situation like this, others may as well. I warned you up front, I'm not going to play the role of telling you what you want to hear.

This dream kinda tripped me out though.

I understand when you tell me not what I want to hear. I came to this forum looking for answers. I appreciate your feedback. I knew this would partially be some of your response because you don't know the entire story. Any person hearing it told this way (in bits and pieces) would probably draw the same conclusions you are. (I won't bore you with it but if you do want to know more, I imagine you don't with all that is going on in your life, I can email or send you the whole story in a pm.) I will say though, I'm not the bad guy in my marriage. (And I don't play the victim role either.) If we hadn't had children, we would have split up YEARS ago. But love really does impair one's better sense and better judgment sometimes. Sorry if I come across as "the cheating husband" but honestly, it is not like that. Can my feelings for Nicky and my secret conversations with her be considered cheating? I guess so. I know two wrongs do not make a right but what is a person to do that feels trapped? My wife and I have been through the court system and let me tell you, its SCARY and NOT PRETTY.

I'm not here looking for anyone's sympathy. I just need help with some dreams is all.

Well, i'll post the next one.

Here is the next dream. This one happened earlier this month.

It started out like this. *I was with my oldest sister Lynn sitting
in what appeared to be an office or waiting room of some sort. *I was
on the right side of a small (I think) square table resting my chin on
my left shoulder (kinda resting on the table). *Lynn was on the
right side of the table. *She had on a white tank top shirt. *She
asked me what was wrong because I had a sad look on my face.

I told her "ehh nothing." *Then she said "you miss Nicky don't you?"
I said Yes. *She said you love her don't you (as far as Lynn knows, I
only like Nicky). *I said "Yes, very much." *"I just miss her, I just
miss her..." *Then the dream switched to a room which resembled a
dinner hall in which it was lit by dim, glowing soft white lights. *I
was sitting *at a table by myself and I saw Nicky walking around to
some of the tables.

She wasn't working but it seemed as if she was serving guests. *(In
real life, she is a cocktail waitress). *She was wearing
an orange floral dress with white and yellow roses on it as a print.
She wore her hair out and long. *And in her hair on the left side of
her head, she wore a white rose which seemed to be glowing a soft
white but in a different manner than the lights lighting the room.
The one she wore in her hair seemed to emanate an emotional message to
me for some reason.

As she got closer to my table, she saw me and locked eyes with me and
just lightly smiled. *She didn't have a chance to come to my table
though because oddly, my wife appeared to be sitting next to me at my
table. *When Nicky realized she was there, she stopped smiling and
looked sad. *Almost like I felt a hurt emanating from her. *She
walked back away from my table but never took her eyes from mine.
That's when the dream ended.

I don't know what to make of this dream. Is this one wish ful-fillment? Does it mean anything?

Let me say now that my wife and I decided to try and make our marriage work in May of this year. I was going great for the first few weeks but it started degrading again in mid June. Its now back to like it was (terrible) before we started trying. Again, Nicky hadn't been on my mind and I haven't seen or spoken to her in almost a year. I'm to the point now with my wife that I know it will not work because she will not even try, it is too hard for her. She takes the easy way out.

I will also note that the day I decided to work on our marriage, I vowed to "purge" Nicky from my system. I tried to make myself not have feelings for her. Not forget her, because she is so close to my family, but not have romantic feelings for her anymore. And it worked for quite some time! However, I recently came to the conclusion that its not that easy. I still have romantic feelings for her. But I don't let them affect my marriage. Heck, i've had these feelings for her since I was 8. i don't think they are going away anytime soon.

All I ask is please don't judge me. Not saying you were or are, but I know how this can look to some. If you really knew me, i'd think you would understand better.

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

This dream kinda tripped me out though.

I understand when you tell me not what I want to hear. I came to this forum looking for answers. I appreciate your feedback. I knew this would partially be some of your response because you don't know the entire story. Any person hearing it told this way (in bits and pieces) would probably draw the same conclusions you are. (I won't bore you with it but if you do want to know more, I imagine you don't with all that is going on in your life, I can email or send you the whole story in a pm.) I will say though, I'm not the bad guy in my marriage. (And I don't play the victim role either.) If we hadn't had children, we would have split up YEARS ago. But love really does impair one's better sense and better judgment sometimes. Sorry if I come across as "the cheating husband" but honestly, it is not like that. Can my feelings for Nicky and my secret conversations with her be considered cheating? I guess so. I know two wrongs do not make a right but what is a person to do that feels trapped? My wife and I have been through the court system and let me tell you, its SCARY and NOT PRETTY.

I'm not here looking for anyone's sympathy. I just need help with some dreams is all.

Well, i'll post the next one.

I'm not drawing conclusions based on your story. I'm reading the symbols in the dreams. They just happen to say the same thing I think about your story, but that's because I understand that God/dess is trying to teach us to make ethical and moral decisions in our dreams. You can go search out the symbols for yourself, you know, and see if they say what I'm saying they do. In general, I do not ask for much personal information when working with a dream, because I expect the symbols to speak for themselves when understood properly.

No, really, I do not want to hear more of your story. You might consider if you have a need to talk it all out, seeing a therapist or marriage counselor instead of a dream forum. Or you might decide to get a divorce! But don't do it because this other woman is waiting in the wings. Do it the right way. Just get the divorce, and take the risk of being alone. After a reasonable time to get over the failed marriage, then consider finding another wife. Right? Maybe you'd be doing your wife a favor too, I don't know. I can't make these decisions FOR you, and that is kind of the point. You have to make the decision, and then live with it. But what you're doing now is unfair to all concerned, including yourself, as far as I can see.

Again, this dream reads like a romantic fantasy, in this case a rather sad and poignant one. The white rose in her hair sounds like wishing she was back to being virginal, that you were both back to the time before either of you ever married. But you can't GO back in that sense, you know? You have to start where you are now. Your wife sitting beside you means your wife is in the way of you having what you *think* you want. Whether or not you'll want it if/when you get it is another thing, really. I can't do what I feel you want me to do, and tell you wow, yeah, go for it, it will be wonderful! I've seen too much of this kind of thing, really, and what I'd predict, assuming she could escape the abusive husband, is that maybe you'll have a honeymoon year, and then you'll find out you've probably married someone who puts you right back in the same kind of situation you left, simply because you didn't work through the issues with your wife in some sensible way. That's what happens here on the Earth plane. We can't just run away. We need to learn and grow from situations, in order to move on to something else. I've seen a lot of problems happen for my ex and my sons because they leap out of one marriage or relationship, and right into another. I think that when someone gets a divorce, they should wait a full year minimum before getting involved with anyone new, and spend the time getting to know themselves better. Then maybe the next relationship would have a better chance of success.

I'm not judging YOU, really, but I am familiar with this kind of situation, so can't really ignore that either. And again, I cannot make your decision FOR you... you have to take the plunge and do what's in your heart, and try to consider what's going to be best for all parties concerned.

And you know, Nicki isn't as she is in your dreams, no one could be that perfectly romantic all the time. I fear for you that you might do this based on her image in your dreams, and be horribly disappointed. Maybe she's moved on in a year too, you know? In any case, if she's been dealing with an abusive husband all this time, she's going to have some baggage you're both going to have to deal with. It's not going to be all roses and soft lighting.

Well, anyway, all best with it. I'm sorry to be the voice of the "reality check" here, but maybe someone needs to be to counterbalance the romanticizing of those dreams!

Originally Posted by 32˚ Mason

Here is the next dream. This one happened earlier this month.

It started out like this. *I was with my oldest sister Lynn sitting
in what appeared to be an office or waiting room of some sort. *I was
on the right side of a small (I think) square table resting my chin on
my left shoulder (kinda resting on the table). *Lynn was on the
right side of the table. *She had on a white tank top shirt. *She
asked me what was wrong because I had a sad look on my face.

I told her "ehh nothing." *Then she said "you miss Nicky don't you?"
I said Yes. *She said you love her don't you (as far as Lynn knows, I
only like Nicky). *I said "Yes, very much." *"I just miss her, I just
miss her..." *Then the dream switched to a room which resembled a
dinner hall in which it was lit by dim, glowing soft white lights. *I
was sitting *at a table by myself and I saw Nicky walking around to
some of the tables.

She wasn't working but it seemed as if she was serving guests. *(In
real life, she is a cocktail waitress). *She was wearing
an orange floral dress with white and yellow roses on it as a print.
She wore her hair out and long. *And in her hair on the left side of
her head, she wore a white rose which seemed to be glowing a soft
white but in a different manner than the lights lighting the room.
The one she wore in her hair seemed to emanate an emotional message to
me for some reason.

As she got closer to my table, she saw me and locked eyes with me and
just lightly smiled. *She didn't have a chance to come to my table
though because oddly, my wife appeared to be sitting next to me at my
table. *When Nicky realized she was there, she stopped smiling and
looked sad. *Almost like I felt a hurt emanating from her. *She
walked back away from my table but never took her eyes from mine.
That's when the dream ended.

I don't know what to make of this dream. Is this one wish ful-fillment? Does it mean anything?

Let me say now that my wife and I decided to try and make our marriage work in May of this year. I was going great for the first few weeks but it started degrading again in mid June. Its now back to like it was (terrible) before we started trying. Again, Nicky hadn't been on my mind and I haven't seen or spoken to her in almost a year. I'm to the point now with my wife that I know it will not work because she will not even try, it is too hard for her. She takes the easy way out.

I will also note that the day I decided to work on our marriage, I vowed to "purge" Nicky from my system. I tried to make myself not have feelings for her. Not forget her, because she is so close to my family, but not have romantic feelings for her anymore. And it worked for quite some time! However, I recently came to the conclusion that its not that easy. I still have romantic feelings for her. But I don't let them affect my marriage. Heck, i've had these feelings for her since I was 8. i don't think they are going away anytime soon.

All I ask is please don't judge me. Not saying you were or are, but I know how this can look to some. If you really knew me, i'd think you would understand better.

Okay, I apprecate your help. But like I said before, im not looking for you to tell me "oh wow, it's all just so beautiful! Go for it!". And even if you did, it wouldn't make any difference. I have a firm grip on reality and I know, at the end of the day, these are still just dreams and NOT reality. It seems you think if you told me something positive id take it, break up with my wife right away like I'm delusional. These are just dreams I'm asking about, not instructions. The only reason I did something in response to the first dream (almost 2 years after I had it), was because that was something i've ALWAYS wanted to do.

I noticed that with the very first dream, the one with my wife, you broke that one down, but all the others were dismissed as wishful thinking. Am I to think that only bad dreams are the ones that I should take something from and all the good ones are wishful thinking?

I really appreciate your time, I really do, but it seems your a little biased. You assume I have come here looking for someone to tell me what I want to hear or validate something but that couldn't be further from the truth. I just had some dreams that I wanted know if they meant something, not something I would act on, bit if they held any particular meaning.

Hi Mason,

I disagree. I believe I broke the later dreams down just fine. Most of what was in them simply gave this dreamy romantic picture that shouts FANTASY, and several images in each gave that same picture. We all do this when we're young, you know? I'm old, in case you didn't read my profile. My youngest chlid is 36.

When we're young we have this romantic fantasy in our heads, and we kind of paste it onto someone, and then expect them to live up to the fantasy, when really, we were never looking at the person really in the first place. I've done it. I've been married for 31 years to someone who tried to *force* me into HIS fantasy of what his wife should be, which seemed to be a composite of his mother and his deceased older sister, neither of whom were anything like me. I know better now than to form a fantasy image of someone and expect it to be reality. I can't lie and tell you I don't see the fantasy in those dream images, even though, I still am under the impression you want me to. I told you from the start that I couldn't do that. I'm sorry if I'm not giving you what you want, or think you need. I've done the best I could to say what I really see.

Remember, you said you loved your wife when you were first married. She didn't live up to your fantasy of her. Why do you then think that Nicki, who you really don't know as an adult, will?

I am also doing the best I can here when I tell you that you probably need to make a decision and take some action. Either really let go of Nicki and focus on your marriage, or make the decision to get a divorce and work it out as well and responsibly as you can for your children. But this limbo state of yearning after a fantasy of Nicki isn't doing anyone any favors. It is causing harm to your real relationships.

I'm sorry, that's the best I can do.

In response to IrisRavenstar....

I still am under the impression you want me to.

I have said from the start that this is an incorrect impression. I wanted someone to help me with the meaning/symbology of the dream. I know its a dream and not reality. I've also stated i'm not looking for you to tell me "what I want to hear" whatever you assume that may be. And quite frankly, I REALLY don't know where you are drawing these impressions since I NEVER ANYWHERE said anything close to the effect of "I want someone to tell me what I want to hear.

I told you from the start that I couldn't do that. I'm sorry if I'm not giving you what you want, or think you need. I've done the best I could to say what I really see.

Thank you for your time. But you don't have to apologize because contrary to what you believe, I NEVER asked for that, NOR, regardless of what you say, did I EVER give you the impression that I wanted you, or anyone else to tell me what I wanted to hear. And just because I disagree with you on your premature and biased assessment of fantasy-wish-fulfillment does NOT constitute valid reason for you to get these "impressions." But I digress as I am not trying to tell you what or how to think.

Remember, you said you loved your wife when you were first married. She didn't live up to your fantasy of her.

This isn't a psycho-analysis we are talking about here. I know good and well what a fantasy projection is. Its absurd you think I fell in love with a fantasy of her. I would very much respect that opinion if you were a professional psychologist and I was your client and IN YOUR OFFICE, however, this is NOT the case. You know nothing about us other than what I said and no where in any of that did I give you enough information to properly assess that I fell in love with a fantasy of my wife. Thats just utterly ridiculous and downright arrogant on your part. Not even our marriage counselor (whom is a licensed psychologist) has assessed that I fell in love with a fantasy of my wife.

Why do you then think that Nicki, who you really don't know as an adult, will?

How do you assume I don't know Nicky??? Did I mention anywhere in there that I don't know Nicky as an adult??? Where do you draw this conclusion from??? I'm a little confused with this one. I've known her VERY well for the MAJORITY of her life (and that includes her adult life). Just because I don't talk to her EVERYDAY does not mean I do not know her or interact with her. (Heck, I don't even talk to my own mother, father, or sisters sometimes for months, does this mean I don't know them as well? No, it does not.) I am NOT in love with the IDEA of her. I know what idealization is and trust me when I tell you that this is not even close to that.

I am also doing the best I can here when I tell you that you probably need to make a decision and take some action.

I also asked for a dream analysis, NOT LIFE OR MARRIAGE ADVICE. I've got family, friends, and a MARRIAGE COUNSELOR for that, but thanks anyway. I appreciate your good intentions.

Either really let go of Nicki and focus on your marriage, or make the decision to get a divorce and work it out as well and responsibly as you can for your children.

AGAIN, I asked for a dream analysis, NOT LIFE OR MARRIAGE ADVICE. I've got family, friends, and a MARRIAGE COUNSELOR for that, but thanks anyway. I appreciate your good intentions.

But this limbo state of yearning after a fantasy of Nicki isn't doing anyone any favors. It is causing harm to your real relationships.

Good grief... How much clearer can I be??? This is NOT a "limbo state of me yearning after a fantasy or idea of Nicky." I have done that when I was a teenager with other women. I do not fall in love with the idea or dreams of people. That is ridiculous. In hindsight, when I did it when I was in high school, I realize as I got older it was ridiculous. I did NOT fall in love with the fantasy or idea of Nicky. You are absolutely unequivocally 100 million trillion billion googolplex percent wrong on that. I fell in love with HER, the REAL person, our REAL experiences together, not a bunch of imagined, good feeling ideas or dreams of her, or us, not the imagined idea of her or imagined idea of being with her, and NOT the fantasy of her, or being with her. And DEFINITELY not the idealized version of her.

My feelings for Nicky are NOT causing harm to my relationship. Our (my wife and I) incompatibilities are causing harm to our relationship. My feelings for Nicky have NEVER influenced ANY decision or action I have taken within my marriage. This is a gross error in assumption you have made, but I digress.

It seems that no matter what I say you will paint any positive dream I may post with a "fantasy wish-fulfillment" brush, even if has nothing to do with relationships.

In my first dream, you could have easily assessed that as fantasy/wish-fulfillment in that I wanted to leave, BUT, you took the symbology and broke it down. Then in the other dreams, you labeled them as fantasy/wish fulfillment right from the start.

I understand you tried to help after I asked for it. I appreciate your input, but I respectfully have to say that most of your assumptions and assessments have been waaaay wrong, especially about you thinking I am here for you, or anyone else to feed me a piece of golden pie with sugar and cherry on top. Thats just arrogance on your part after I told you that wasn't the case and you continued to assume it was.

We all do this when we're young, you know? I'm old, in case you didn't read my profile. My youngest child is 36.

What does this statement qualify??? I humbly say that age makes no difference here. I have friends your age and some old enough to be your parents. And to be quite honest, some people do this when they are your age and older too. And while I do appreciate your input, I didn't come here asking for life advice or looking for instructions on actions to take based on a dream analysis. At the most, I may possibly have thought deeply about the analysis of the DREAM. I simply wanted someone to analyze the dream itself and maybe some themes in them if they saw any.

When we're young we have this romantic fantasy in our heads, and we kind of paste it onto someone, and then expect them to live up to the fantasy, when really, we were never looking at the person really in the first place. I've done it. I've been married for 31 years to someone who tried to *force* me into HIS fantasy of what his wife should be, which seemed to be a composite of his mother and his deceased older sister, neither of whom were anything like me. I know better now than to form a fantasy image of someone and expect it to be reality.

You know, you are not the only one who has experience with fantasy/wish-fulfillment and can recognize it (not saying you said you were). I did the fantasy projection with a girl in high school. All through high school I had the biggest crush/infatuation on her. I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world. After high school, I thought to myself that what I felt for her was unjustified. I didn't "know" this girl and to be honest, she never gave me the time of day. In hindsight, I know completely that I had a crush on her and was infatuated with her and those were definitely NOT feelings of love. So I know good and well what a fantasy projection is, and I know better than to form a fantasy image of someone and expect it to be reality. Furthermore, I knew my wife pretty darn well when we got together. She asked for a second chance and I gave her one. She didn't live up to her promises and self goals. No need for me to go more in depth than that.

You said yourself you see people posts dreams of fantasy/wish-fulfillment all the time. Maybe seeing so many has caused some bias on your part. I say this again because you took my first dream and analyzed the info within the dream (in which that dream was mostly negative) but in the next dream, which was positive, you simply pointed out all the things that YOU thought backed up you assessment of the dream being a fantasy. You did not analyze it the same way you did the first one because, like you said, you are so used to "seeing" dreams about fantasies.

I had a few more dreams I wanted someone to analyze. I really do appreciate your feedback but i'll pass on your input for the other ones. I'd appreciate input from someone who was a lot less biased. I'm no dream expert but I've got a pretty good idea that not all good or positive dreams are about fantasy/wish-fulfillment, and not all bad or negative toned dreams are the ones we should listen to and take something from (and no, I never said you said that).

I'll leave you with this. I have had dreams interpreted before by professionals and other people. And in the case where the assessment was fantasy/wish-fulfillment, I usually agreed if the interpretation didn't seem biased like this one is. So, again, just because I am not agreeing with you does not in any way, shape, or form validate, nor confirm your assessment or impression that I am here for someone to tell me what I want to hear or that you are right about my real life situations.

Thank you again and have a good day.

You could have simply opted out of having me interpret them after my first post, Mason, right? That was the point... giving you that opportunity.

I'm done with you.

Goodnight.

I did not want to come off as ungreatful after your first post because I explained my dreams seemed like a running series. You said maybe my others would shed more light on the whole situation. Iris, I've checked some of your other posts and you do the same in some of those. When I seen your bias and assuming ways, I DID decide to opt out of your interpretations, hence, my reply today. Thanks but no thanks.

You have a good day.

Sounds like someone from another forum....(LL)

Well, you know, Mason,

The stalker bully types do leave one needing a few screen names, so it wouldn't surprise me if I sound familiar from another forum to you.

Interestingly, the same big yellow dog I saw pissing on my kitchen floor in a hypnampompic dream a couple of weeks ago, when I left another forum because of bullies, was seen last night with his throat slit. Gotta wonder.

I'll be real interested to see just how many others you get to take on your dreams.

Originally Posted by IrisRavenstar

Well, you know, Mason,

The stalker bully types do leave one needing a few screen names, so it wouldn't surprise me if I sound familiar from another forum to you.

Interestingly, the same big yellow dog I saw pissing on my kitchen floor in a hypnampompic dream (you mean hallucination) a couple of weeks ago, when I left another forum because of bullies, was seen last night with his throat slit. Gotta wonder.

I'll be real interested to see just how many others you get to take on your dreams.

The stalker bully types do leave one needing a few screen names

You know, I have never had this problem since i'm not a stalker bully type. But its funny you think that since I clicked on your profile and checked some of your posts out that I fit this "stalker bully type." Hmm. Seems like a pretty normal message board function to me. But ironically enough you sure do show some of those stalker bully qualities with your:

Interestingly, the same big yellow dog I saw pissing on my kitchen floor in a hypnampompic dream a couple of weeks ago, when I left another forum because of bullies, was seen last night with his throat slit. Gotta wonder.

This is just beyond sick. You really sound like you need help. So now you indirectly threaten me with your delusions??? LOLOLOLOLOL! So now you think you have this magical power in that if you don't like someone or something someone says or if someone disagrees with you, you will have a dream (in your case a delusion) about them and it will come true? You sound like a true head case. You should really go get your head examined cause you are deluding yourself.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if you left other forums, or have the need to create a zillion different screen names because you were called on your BS ON MANY OCCASIONS before so please, cut the crap.

You seriously need to get over yourself for real. You can't even handle someone disagreeing with your assessments. Your behavior is just lame on so many levels. You say you love dream interpreting. I'm sure i'm not the first person that has disagreed with your biased assessments and assumptions.

Don't you worry about who I ask or get to take on my dreams. That is none of your concern. Trust me, I decided when I saw your bias that I won't ever ask you again. If someone else had came to the same conclusion you did without similar bias, I would absolutely accept that. I had those first two dream YEARS ago. I hope you aren't arrogant and cocky enough to think you were the first to interpret them.

And you know, for someone that is 61 years old, you act very immature here. I bet that I will not be the only one on this board that calls you on your bias and nonsense. You need to seriously cut the elitist "I know all," judgmental attitude. But I feel that is the least of your problems. You need psychiatric help.