Thread: Tales From the Butler's Pantry

That is one awesome dreams... it sounds like some wacky tv show!

Unleash the Beast

I was waking down a busy street in San Francisco, packed shoulder to shoulder with people. I knew I was supposed to be meeting friends for dinner, but I also knew it was a dream. I was having a hard time moving through the crowd, and was worried I would be late or wake up before I could get to the restaurant. I laid my hands on shoulders of the stranger in front of me, and vaulted over him while pushing down on his shoulders. It was like leap-frog superhero style. I went flying over the crowd, higher than I expected. As soon as I landed, I bounced back up into the air with another leap. My jumps were probably 30-50 feet high, and I remember grabbing onto a building's roof at one point, and then swinging off like spiderman. It was a real thrill.

I reached the restaurant, and found a long banquet table surrounded by dozens of my friends. I took a minute to greet everyone, and tell them how exciting this was to have them in my dream. Food started arriving right away, and people started digging in. I ate a crab cake that tasted like cream cheese, and a giant coconut shrimp the size of an apple. There was not enough food, and people were complaining. I was trying to convince people it was a dream. I took the plate of crab cakes, held my hand over it palm down, and made the food multiply. I did this to all the dishes, until the table was covered in food.

People still did not believe me that it was a dream. They thought it was some sort of magic trick. To show off even more, I made a fist with my hand, with my index finger extended. I laid my index finger on the edge of the table, and then slammed my other hand down on my closed fist. The leverage made my index finger snap off like it was made of plastic. There was not blood or pain. It was like I was made of rubber. People still did not believe me. They thought it was some sort of sleight of hand. I picked up my severed finger, and flipped it across the room. In mid air, it turned into some sort of toy. My finger grew back like a plastic doll. I plucked it off my hand again, and threw it into the air. It too, turned into a a toy. I started plucking off my fingers, one by one, and flipping them into the air rapid fire. They all turned into video games, toys, and other fun stuff.

I was having fun putting on the magic show for all my friends. "Watch This!" I rolled up my sleeve, and my hand started growing and pulsing. My fingernails grew into long claws, and my skin sprouted dark fur. The wave of fur moved up my forearm, and my muscles twisted and grew. I pulled my shirt off, and looked down to see my chest muscles swell and sprout dense dark fur. I was werewolfing out pretty hard. I felt my chin extend into a snout, and my teeth grow into long fangs. I fell down on all fours, and could feel incredible strength and power. I knew I was a terrible beast.

Strangely, I stayed in this werewolf form, and finished dinner with my friends. They believed it was a dream, and were throwing me food to catch in my wolf's mouth. It was a great party. Towards the end, we were packing up the leftover food to take home. I grabbed a whole uneaten pizza to take home to my girlfriend. I thought she would love it when she woke up in the morning. I also gathered up all the toys to give to my little brother at his birthday party the next day.

Halfway out the door, I remembered that I could not take anything with me to the waking world. This frustrated me. I took the bag of toys, and tossed it out into the landscaping. All the toys scattered in the bushes, and I saw a bunch of little kids run over to pick them up. I was still holding the pizza box. I used my werewolf strength to throw it out like a frisbee. As soon as it left my hand, I felt myself rip apart physically and mentally. A fearsome looking black wolf leaped out of my body, chasing the frisbee-pizza across the lawn. I remained standing, with my arm outstretched from the throw, but I was now completely human. My consciousness was in both places at once. I was watching the frisbee fly away, and the powerful wolf chasing it. I also felt myself in the wolf's body. I could feel all four of my legs pounding on the wet grass, and could see the frisbee flying just out of my reach. I leaped in the air, and sunk my fangs into the cardboard box. I also watched from my human body, as the wolf jumped to catch the pizza box. It was very strange.

Just then, a group of kids brought me back the toys I had scattered in the bushes. I explained why I had thrown them away, and told them to keep them. When I turned back around to look for my wolf, it had vanished in the darkness.

Pause and Fastforward

I was playing a game with two of my friends from my childhood. It was a hide and seek type of game, but much more serious. There were some sort of life and death consequences to the game. I was stalking these two friends as they ran around an outdoor cityscape of ramps and stairways. If they caught me following them, I would lose the game. If I could follow them successfully to their destination, and arrive there before them, I would win.

I was sneaking around close behind them, but they were getting further and further away. I asked myself in a loud psychic voice, "How can I catch these guys? They are so fast." I answered myself from a separate level of consciousness, "Slow time until you catch them. This is a dream." I now had two levels of awareness. There was a 'first person' and a 'third person omniscient'. It was like I was on the phone with my consciousness.

I snuck around a corner, and time slowed to a crawl. Everything was moving super slow. I asked my omniscient self, "Is there a way I can move faster?" I answered myself, "Yes. Fast forward yourself, while you keep the world slowed." I started moving with crazy super speed. I moved so fast, it felt like I was teleporting. I stopped right behind the kids I was chasing. I was less than a foot behind them. They were moving in slow motion, but I could see one of them turning around to look at me.

"Help!" I asked myself. "They are going to see me." Omniscient answered back, "Pause time. Now, remove yourself from time. Now hide behind the stairs, and resume time normally." I followed the instructions, and was now behind a staircase, watching my prey as they looked around, confused. I know they had heard me behind them, and were baffled by how I could disappear so fast.

I had a level of lucidity above the dream. When I was 'first person' in the dream, I had only a low level of lucidity. I was fooled by my surroundings. The 'omniscient' level of consciousness was totally lucid, and aware it was a dream. It was strange, because all of the communication between the two levels of consciousness was completely verbal. It was like a telephone conversation between my lucid self, and my dream self.

wow awesome!... I wish I could turn into a warewolf!

Yeah, it was a pretty awesome feeling. I've been wanting to do it for a while. I always joke, in real life, about being a werewolf. My hair and nails grow crazy fast. My friend who cuts my hair can't beleive it sometimes.

I didn't expect to feel so powerful, strong. When the wolf ripped out of me at the end, I felt both the wolf and the human at the same time. The wolf felt so strong and dangerous, and the human felt so feeble and naked. Sort of depressing.

Originally Posted by Robot_Butler

Yeah, it was a pretty awesome feeling. I've been wanting to do it for a while. I always joke, in real life, about being a werewolf. My hair and nails grow crazy fast. My friend who cuts my hair can't beleive it sometimes.

I didn't expect to feel so powerful, strong. When the wolf ripped out of me at the end, I felt both the wolf and the human at the same time. The wolf felt so strong and dangerous, and the human felt so feeble and naked. Sort of depressing.

that is so cool... the closest i have ever been to having multipul parts in a dream was having more then one layer of thought...

The Sex

I arrived at work to find last year's summer intern waiting at my office. As soon as I stepped in the door, she pounced on me, and started kissing me aggressively. I was shocked at first, but didn't resist for very long. We stumbled to the back of the office, still kissing, and tearing off each other's clothes along the way. We fell out the back door, and started going at it right on the floor of the garage. It was real intense, and animalistic. I was too caught up in the moment to notice a car disassembled in the garage, as if it was being serviced. When I did see it, I got nervous that the guy I work with might be coming back any minute to finish the repairs. We were having too much fun to stop, so we moved inside, to the bathroom. Things got even hotter, and before long, we were scrambling to clean up and find our clothes.

We only had time to find white undershirts, before I heard people walking around in the front room. It was the guy I work with, and he was pissed that we had sex at work He was under his car working in the garage, the whole time. He started lecturing me about it being illegal to have sex with interns. I started defending myself saying, "She's the one who initiated it! She's 22, we're both adults, and we can do whatever we want!" We got into a huge arguement, but I was too uncomfortable to defend myself much, since I was completely naked from the waist down.

Somewhere along the line, the owners of the house (wasn't it originally our offiice?) came home. The intern was now my girlfriend, and we went outside to meet the owners. We were still wearing only T-shirts, and I kept having to pull mine down to cover my junk. My girlfriend didn't seem to care that hers kept blowing up and exposing her. I kept jealously telling her to cover herself, but she didn't care. She kept saying, "Lighten up, will you? You're such a prude."

The owners drove up in a white 1980's Lamborghini Countach. It was covered in purple Transformers decals, and had strange metal antennae coming off the doors that looked like wings. I realized it was a Transformer, when the owners opened the door, and the car transformed into a strange hi-tech white machine. The owners were Jermaine Clement and Brett McKenzie from the TV show "Flight of the Conchords." They came upstairs, and we started hanging out in the kitchen, making food. I cooked up a huge skillet of shrimp in some sort of cream sauce. It was delicious.



The Awakening

I went into the back room of the house. As soon as I opened the door, something about the scene made me go instantly lucid. It was one of those really intense and surprising realizations. The intensity made the dream start to fade, and I could feel my body back in bed. My vision was completely filled with a pale peach colored diffuse light. I remained calm, and tried to re-enter the dream. Nothing was happening, until I realized the pale light was coming from a frosted window pane that completely filled my vision. My vision zoomed out to show the room I was just in, with the frosted glass window in the center of the wall. I leaped forward, and flew through the window hands first. The glass shattered, and I made sure to feel the pain as all the sharp shards cut my skin.

I landed outside on a flagstone patio. I was now completely lucid, in a very vivid and beautiful dreamscape. I think I was more lucid than I have been in a long time. Maybe ever. Just standing there was an amazing experience. I turned to my girlfriend next to me, and said, "I want to show you the amazing things that you can do in a lucid dream. If I could give you one wish, what would it be?" She looked skeptical, and said in a mocking tone, "If you could clear this cloudy sky, I would be really impressed."

No problem!

I looked up, to see a sky covered in a thick veil of purple grey haze. I raised my hands, together in front of my face, and then spread them apart in an 'open sesame' motion. The row of clouds closest to us rolled open like a purple curtain. I did the same motion again, and the next row followed suit. Each row of clouds turned two-dimensional as it opened, but the sky still looked incredibly hyper-realistic. It took several passes to clear the clouds completely.

Now there was only high wispy clouds in a beautiful purple sunset. I held my girlfriend's hand and watched the sun creep down towards the horizon. The scene was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. We were standing on a bluestone patio, looking out over a cliff. A large complex sculptural fountain stood at the edge of the cliff, with the water cascading down out of sight. Beyond the cliff, the scene opened up into a vast wild valley, shadowed with the oncoming twilight. It resembled Yosemite valley, and I could see Half Dome in the distance. As the twilight deepened, the shadows stretched realistically until the valley was covered in a pale shadow.



Now, I could make out the glowing forms of a city in the valley basin. The buildings looked enormous, and each one was lit with an orange glow. The scale of the city looked impressive, so I tightened my grip on my girlfriend's hand, and together we took off flying towards the lights.

The Dream

We ended up in a futuristic city that looked to be carved out of monolithic sandstone. Every surface was perfectly smooth and without joints. The buildings seemed to be stacked vertically in a series of terraces. Columned arcades surrounded every building, like an Egyptian or Greek temple. Ramps and staircases spiraled up to multiple terraces. From where I was standing, the city seemed limitless.



I had the impression of sleek flying machines hovering around the city, but I don't remember seeing any specifically. The streets were packed with people, like there was a parade or festival happening. I recognized many people in the crowd as friends from college and high school. I approached several people to say hi. I remember messing with one of my old roommates. He was standing with his girlfriend, talking with a group of people. I made myself invisible, and sneaked up on them from behind. I gave both him and his girlfriend a friendly slap on the ass, and then watched as they blamed each other, and looked around confused. I kept pestering them by giving them pinches and slaps, before I finally became visible to chat with them.

They told me about the city. It was the last city on earth after the apocalypse. It was called "The New Acropolis" and was ruled by an elite group of tyrants who horded their high technology to keep themselves in power. This gathering of people was a religious ceremony to worship this ruling elite as gods. They called themselves "The New Pantheon." I thought this sounded like great fun. I said my goodbyes, and took off flying to cause some trouble.



I soared across the amazing cityscape, wondering at its complexity. I made my way to the highest point in the city. It was a huge round temple resembling the Pantheon in Rome. Inside, was a large domed room, ringed with high stone thrones. Giant people sat in each throne, in some sort of trance. They looked like statues. I climbed atop a stage or pedestal in the center of the room. I started singing a beautiful song about dreams, and danced in place. As I waved my arms around, blue lightning started shooting from my fingertips. I was soon surrounded in a crackling sphere of glowing blue electricity. I sang my song, harmonizing with the hum of the electromagnetic field. As I finished my song, I released all the built up electricity outward. It exploded, and shattered the statue-like people sitting on their thrones. The entire building crumbled, as I flew away satisfied.



The Aftermath

I was now part of a group of outlaws trying to rebuild society. The world had a post apocalyptic junkyard type of feel to it. I was still mildly lucid, but caught up in the story. My lucidity made everyone view me as some kind of traveler, or time traveler. I was a prophet to help lead the rebels. I remember joking with some of them about how cliche this storyline was. I made some pun about the movie Terminator 2, making fun of the post apocalyptic genre. I had a bad attitude, like I really didn't care about this world, but I would do my part to help. Jermaine and Brett were with me again. I remember someone making a joke about me and Jermaine having the same sideburns and fashion sense.



At one point, we were fighting a battle in the ruined streets of a huge city. People were dying, and kept asking me to do something. I decided to summon something to help. I planted my feet, and concentrated on creating a robot or tank to help them. It was really hard to concentrate, and I couldn't make anything happen except a flash of light in the middle of the street. I remember wishing I played more video games, or watched movies about this sort of robot crap. Frustrated, I decided to play a joke. I thought of a toy from when I was a kid. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Party Wagon. It popped into my hands in a flash of light. I threw it out into the battlefield. As it flew through the air, it grew from the size of a shoebox, to the size of a jumbo jet. Everyone piled in, and I drove through the battlefield shooting plastic pizzas to knock people down.



We ended up at a safe house on the top floor of a hi-rise building in a really run down part of town. Everyone was now happy, playing video games, and watching TV like zombies. I ran around trying to remind people of the war going on. I didn't want the dream to end on such a boring note. The last thing I remember was looking out the window and seeing huge two legged robotic battle machines surrounding the building. One of them was right in front of the window aiming a huge cannon into the room. Finally, some action! I jumped behind a couch, and started yelling at everyone to get down.



I woke up to my alarm, and completely forgot this entire series of dreams. I had a faint sense that my MILD worked, but my mind was totally blank. Thank god I took another minute to try and wrack my brain. How the hell did I forget this?

EDIT: I just remembered another piece of the dream. I was at dinner with a bunch of friends in the rebel camp. My friend, Allison told my girlfriend that I had sex with the intern earlier in the dream. I was pissed that she would be such a bitch. I flew across the table, and grabbed her by the shirt. I carried her across the room, then landed. I held her up above my head, and blew her up on a molecular level, into a cloud of atoms. Everyone was mad that I would kill her, but I told them not to worry, I just scattered her molecules apart for a while as punishment. She would reform at her family's cabin in the mountains, and have a hard time getting back to the city alone.

I was helping dig up my mother's rose bushes at my old childhood home. It looked like someone had dumped leftover cement into the planting bed, so I had to chip away a thin layer of hardened concrete to get them out. It was a nightmare.

My mother pulled into the garage in a car I did not recognize. It was a black SUV from the early 90s. It looked like it had cement or mud splattered all over undercarriage, and up the sides of the doors. My mom got out with my little brother, and explained that they were having financial problems and had to trade in their minivan for a cheaper car. As my stepfather explained all the features on the car, I remember wondering why they would get an SUV when gas was four dollars a gallon. Especially this old one that obviously needed some expensive repairs. Didn't seem like a smart financial move to me.

I woke up in bed, frustrated that I didn't recognize the dream sign of being at my mother's house. I rolled onto my side, and cuddled against my old roommate. I was stuffed into a bed with her, and my other ex-roommate.

I felt one of my roommates lean back into me, and grind against me. She raised her leg to rest on me, and I slid my hand up her leg and under her panties from the side. We were trying to be really quiet and subtle. We moved very slowly to keep from waking our other bedmate. It was actually very uncomfortable. She was overly sensitive, and her body kept jolting in a ticklish way. She was reaching back awkwardly to grab me through the fly of my boxers. The way she was stroking me was twisting my piercing in a painful way. It was sort of painful, but felt good at the same time.

I was just thinking, "Oh man, how the hell is this ever going to work?" When I saw our sleeping bedmate climb out of bed to get dressed. We froze, and tried to pretend-sleep for a minute. I was sneaking peeks at her naked body through my lidded eyes, but I could tell we weren't fooling her. She started being overly sexy with her dressing, and kept casually brushing her hands across her naked body. Before long, she was back in bed with us. The rest of the dream was a blur of arms, legs, and impossible positions. I don't know why people give dream sex a bad rap. It was pretty awesome, and no matter how many orgasms I had, I didn't wake up.

I got out of bed to wash up, and found myself at a pornography convention instead of my bedroom. I was looking for a bathroom, but got distracted by my friend Tera Patrick who I haven't seen in a while. She was working at a booth signing autographs and selling some wacky lube & toys. I was uncomfortable, because I really needed to wash up. I ended up finding a men's room, but woke up as soon as I saw the toilet.

The toilet apparently made me realize I really did have to pee. I got up to use the bathroom. I returned to bed, but something was strange. As I remembered the FA I just had, I realized I was having another one!! The realization paralyzed my body in bed. I was in that weird body distortion zone of bending and separating. I tried to imagine something tactile. I ended up visualizing myself standing out in my courtyard garden, running my hands up and down the ropes of my hammock and feeling the texture on my fingertips. Tracing the twisted knots of the bumpy cords shifted my consciousness to this dream body. I got really lost in the maze of knots and weaves. I found where they ended, in a wide canvas sail. There were two rectangular holes cut in the sail. I knew they were there to keep the forces equally distributed across the surface of the sail.

I was woken up by my phone ringing. I didn't want to answer it, so I lied in bed trying to remember my dreams for a minute. The answering machine picked up, and a woman's voice started speaking. She was jabbing about some conference I had to attend. Apparently it had been moved from my office, to a convention center in Oakland. I was confused, and was trying to remember if the conference was today or Monday. I thought it was Monday...

I tried to remember what this conference even was. (In reality, there was no conference, another freaking FA!) I remembered the conference as being a sequel to the movie Star Wars. It was a continuation of that movie where the dude drops a bomb into the giant robotic planet. Instead of dropping a bomb, he dropped me down into the hatch. I slid down some huge slide-chute, and landed in a giant space station type place. I had to destroy Dearth Vader to blow up the planet. The way I remembered it, this was what really happened at the end of that movie. They just waited to show it all until the sequel came out.

Three False Awakenings in one night. I still feel good about the night. I accomplished my goal of having more dream sex, and I had a brief lucid moment when I caught the FA, and popped into the hammock.

Curious, how the first FA happened. The dream transitioned to my bedroom, and me thinking about missing a dream sign. I guess, technically, I did catch the dream sign, because I was still asleep. Maybe the dream sign caused the FA somehow. That has to count for something.

Tricky Bitch!
I did a WBTB last night around 5am. Everything was going well with my MILD. I had just lost consciousness, when I heard a loud beeping sound. I then heard a loud robotic voice saying something about time. I thought, "Cool, some Hypnagogia, I guess this is turning into a WILD!" I slowly opened my eyes, and saw the room lit with an unnatural blue glow. I didn't want to ruin the transition, so I laid still for a few more seconds. I then glanced at the clock, and it said 12:00. I knew my WBTB was at 5am, so I was sure I was dreaming. Confident that I could move, I did a hand RC, but it failed. I then did a nose RC, but it also failed. I laid there for a few seconds, doing RCs before being totally convinced I was really awake.

Turns out, there was a short power outage. This tripped my answering machine to reset, beep, and yell a robot warning about resetting the time and date. This also flipped my girlfriend's spiderman night light on, which lit the room in a blue glow. The clock reset to 12:00 am. Tricky, tricky bitch of a universe.

Ghost Dog
My girlfriend and I were spending the weekend in a small honeymoon town on the California Coast. We were on a tour of a historic fishery & cannery, right on the bay. The main factory floor of the cannery was a huge warehouse. In the center, was a giant glass dome, 100 feet or more across, and 50 feet high. It was enormous. The tour guide was explaining that the glass dome would hold all the fish waiting to be cleaned. Teams of workers would surround the glass dome, and reach their hands inside through cut-out holes.

I was seated at the dome, cleaning fish with the other people on the tour. I was terrible at it. We had to separate the fish guts into separate compartments like a bento box. Each fish that I cleaned had to be sampled to make sure it was fresh. I would have to pull out a piece of fish guts, and eat it to make sure the fish was not rotten. The tour guide was warning us not to eat certain parts of the fish, or it would poison us with a deadly nerve toxin.

This cannery had a shady history, and was supposedly haunted. The original owner was a murderer and a crook. The cannery was shut down, when it was discovered he would leave dead fish in this giant dome for weeks on end. The glass would contain the stench, and rot the fish. This had something to do with his secret to success. Extra tender fish or something. Legend had it, that his pet dog went crazy one night from the rotten fish smell, killed him, and then murdered all the workers in the factory. This dog is still said to haunt the old run down factory.

As we listened to this tale, we heard a howl from the hallways. I then saw a streak of white out of the corner of my vision. I turned just in time to see a gigantic ghostly white wolf leap at me. I jumped to the side, and stood up, face to face with the biggest wolf I have ever seen. It stood five feet tall to its shoulder, its softball sized eyes level with mine.

It lunged at me again, its jaws easily big enough to take my head off in one bite. I dodged to the side and threw my hand up to catch the beast under around its neck. I had incredible strength for some reason. I lifted it by its throat, and threw it across the factory floor. It crashed into a wall 50 feet away, but was back on its feet in a second. It charged at me again, angrier than ever. I waited for it, and at the last second, quickly leaned into a stiff front kick. My kick landed squarely in the giant's chest, and threw it sprawling to the ground. I was amazed by how strong I was. I just stopped 2000 pounds of charging wolf with a front kick?

I was emboldened, and leaped onto the wolf to finish it off. I wrestled and beat it mercilessly, knowing I had to completely overpower its savagery . Each punch seemed to make it shrink. Before long, it was the size of a small poodle. It was bloodied and defeated. I knew I had tamed it, and it would now be my loyal pet.

Together, we drove across a red desert. We were in a white Chevy Impala. We took a short cut up a steep rocky mesa. I realized my ghost dog had turned into the car. The white car looked part dog, and was running on all four of its tires.

My neighbor from earlier in the dream was still playing golf in his back yard with rocks instead of golf balls. He hit one rock, and instead of just breaking my house window, it flew out across the desert, and crashed into the face of a cliff. This started a landslide. My wolf car tried to dodge the rocks as they fell, but there were too many of them. We were buried in a landslide, and I blacked out.

I regained consciousness, disoriented and confused. I was looking down at the rocky red ground. I could not feel my body. I looked down from a strange angle, and saw my bloodied leg and shoe to my right hand side. I thought, "There is my leg, but how am I seeing that from this angle?" My vision was swinging around of its own free will. My vision fell to a trickling stream as if I was bending down to get a drink. I saw blood in the water, and realized what had happened. I was killed in the landslide. I could see my own dead body. Somehow my spirit had merged with the ghost dog.

The dog was in control of its body, but I knew I could take over at any time. Together, we transformed into a sleek white greyhound, and bounded across the rocky red hills of the desert. We crossed hills, canyons, and mesas. After what seemed like hours of running, we came to a town. We transformed into an nonthreatening white poodle, and trotted into the lobby of a hotel.

I took control of the dog's body, and hopped up to a computer station. I started typing out a google search with my front paws. I had the dog's memories, and knew exactly what to search for. I brought up old, 100 year old newspaper articles about the old cannery. It was time to solve this mystery once and for all so both my spirit, and the spirit of the dog, could rest in peace.

[QUOTE]

Originally Posted by Robot_Butler

I was now completely lucid, and no longer afraid. I asked again, "But, what's MY resolution?" She looked a little confused, and turned her head to look behind her. I noticed there was a horrible looking man standing behind her this whole time. He looked like a pale, ghostly translucent clown illuminated from within. Sort of like a combination between the albino dread locked guys from that Matrix movie, and a rotting zombie in a clown suit.

He walked towards me, and sat on the edge of my bed right beside me. "You are going to discover the ability to open portals to other dimensions. When you do, the offspring we have sired from your sperm will become all powerful and invade the planet. We will start with Hawaii, since the people there are superstitious."

That sounds like the most hilariously scary thing that I have ever heard, I just spit soda all over my keyboard, lmao.

It would have been pretty scary if I wasn't lucid. I knew what was up, so I just and laughed in their face. Still, its a little unnerving to have a zombie clown sitting on the edge of your bed. It doesn't matter how much you tell yourself its all in your head.

I think false awakenings and WILDs where I end up in my bedroom are the freakiest. Its one thing to be in some bizarre fantastic dreamscape where weird scary stuff is happening. Its another to be in a very familiar, supposedly safe place that looks totally real.

Originally Posted by Robot_Butler

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Party Wagon. It popped into my hands in a flash of light. I threw it out into the battlefield. As it flew through the air, it grew from the size of a shoebox, to the size of a jumbo jet. Everyone piled in, and I drove through the battlefield shooting plastic pizzas to knock people down.

LOL awesome! My brother had the Technodrome toy as a kid. Remember that one? It was so cool!

Man I should make stuff like that in my dreams...how do you think of such random things to do? I'm always at a loss for what to do in my LDs.

Your crazy dreams kind of remind me of my own, except mine are of the normal variety.
Cool stories and nice writing.

Thanks, Yumeria. Do you have a DJ? I'll have to go check it out. Crazy dreams are the best kind

I was trying to order food at a crowded taco counter. The line was out the door, and every table was full. Behind me in line, were two creepy kids. They looked to be brother and sister, probably twins. They had light blond hair, and pale blue eyes. They wore matching clothes, and matching bowl haircuts. They looked very alien, and kept staring at me in a strange way. I was glad to get away from them and order some food.

The woman making my burrito kept messing up my order. I had to yell over the crowd to tell her what I wanted, like at a crowded bar. I eventually gave up, and just let her give me whatever she wanted. She is the burrito professional, after all.

I had the strange feeling that someone was watching me. I grabbed my plate of food, found a seat, and looked back over my shoulder. Sitting in the corner, was a woman who looked a lot like my High School French teacher. She shot me a look of recognition, so I waved tentatively, not knowing if it really was my old teacher. I started eating my burrito, looked back again, and saw she was still staring at me. I decided it must be her, so I went over to say hi.

I gave her a hug, sat down, and looked across the table at her. It definitely was not my old teacher. She looked frail and old, but her skin had a spooky ageless quality. She had the same blond bowl cut hair and light eyes as the twins behind me in line. I felt like I knew her from somewhere, maybe a party years ago. She spoke in a thick English accent, and a man at the table next to us kept talking loudly and laughing in an annoying way. I could barely her her over the racket, and was having a hard time understanding her. I was in a hurry to get back to my meal before someone stole my seat.

Finally I realized she was asking about my dreams. She said something along the lines of, "Have you had any twist dreams lately?" I thought she must be talking about lucid dreams. I couldn't talk to her because the aggravating man at the table next to us kept laughing in an obnoxious way. He was listening in on our conversation, and laughing just to interrupt us.

I answered her question, "I have a lot of lucid dreams like this one. Let me show you." I locked my gaze on her eyes, while reaching to my right. Blue energy arced from my palm to the obnoxious man next to me. He screamed as I floated him into the air, and pulled the life force from his body in a flash of blue smoke and lightning. Everyone in the restaurant screamed as he convulsed, and then collapsed back into his seat. I caught him by the back of his neck, lifted him up, and slammed him down on our table. I did all this without removing my gaze from this woman's eyes. People started fleeing from the building. I stood up, placed both my hands on the man's chest, and then blew him to pieces. He dissolved into a cloud of fireflies, like glowing embers from a fire.

I looked down at my hands to stabilize the dream. I kept them in my field of vision while I rubbed them together. I calmly walked out of the restaurant as the crowds of people trampled each other to escape. I felt the dream fading, so I yelled "Stabilize" and "Clarity". It worked, and the dream snapped into sharp focus. I stood out on a lawn in front of the restaurant, and counted my fingers. My hands looked totally normal, but I somehow had six fingers on each hand. I kept counting to try and figure out which finger was the extra one. They all looked like they belonged.

I stood under the shade of huge oak trees, at the edge of an expansive lawn. The bright sunlight was filtering through the trees, making sharp shadows on the grass. There was a playground in the distance. I was amazed by the clarity of my vision. It was so sharp, I could see the strands of light that my vision was built on. It was like seeing the pixels in an image, or the brush strokes in a painting.

I wanted to feel the sunlight on my skin, so I started walking out of the shade. I was walking very slowly and calmly, but each step was a little jump. I would step up with a short hop, float five or ten feet, and land. It was almost like walking on a trampoline.

Before I reached the edge of the shade, I found myself back in bed staring at the insides of my eyelids. I tried to reenter the dream. I imagined myself standing on the lawn barefoot, feeling the wet grass between my toes. It worked, and for a second I was back in the shade, looking out at the playground. Then I woke up again and decided I should record the dream.

Not online. I've been adding to an old note book DJ I had back in 04.
Maybe I'll post a few of them sometime.

PS - love that way you kicked that guy's ass!

I like your dreams,they are all very interesting and exciting.

Originally Posted by Yumeria

Not online. I've been adding to an old note book DJ I had back in 04.
Maybe I'll post a few of them sometime.

Thats what I do. I mostly keep written journals. I only post dreams that are especially memorable, or that I know someone would be interested in.

Originally Posted by mtraveller

I like your dreams,they are all very interesting and exciting.

Thanks, Mtraveller. Keep an eye out for some more sun dreams. You've inspired me to make it my new goal. I'm a sucker for sunsets, so this should be fun.

The burritos one was awesome. I'd love to do that. Wow, this has re-excited me to continue trying to have a lucid dream.

Omg butler that "lucid afterlife" dream blew my mind, i only just had a chance to give ur journal my full attention and from now on i assure u i wont miss a post, awesome!!!!!! x

Originally Posted by Idec Sdawkminn

The burritos one was awesome. I'd love to do that. Wow, this has re-excited me to continue trying to have a lucid dream.

Hey, anything with burritos is awesome. In fact, I think I'll go eat one right now...

Originally Posted by marlie

Omg butler that "lucid afterlife" dream blew my mind, i only just had a chance to give ur journal my full attention and from now on i assure u i wont miss a post, awesome!!!!!! x

Thanks, Marlie. I'll be sure to have more dreams where I jump on trampolines naked

Going Insane
I was jogging through the Oakland hills, trying to find my friend's house. I had just memories of a crazy synchronistic event involving a chain of coincidences with myself, the mayor, my realator, and one of the biggest land owners in the area. I felt like it was too impossible to be real (It was based on actual events to some degree). I was trying to remember it, because I knew it would make an awesome short story. As I was thinking about it, I ran by a girl getting out of a taxi wearing only a bikini. She looked at me strangely, and I realized she was a forgotten friend from college. I gave her a hug, and she told me she was in her bikini as a part of a feminist self confidence program.

I started to tell her the incredible story. Halfway through, I lost track of the details. I was confused, and the memory was slipping away like a dream. My friend was in a hurry, and her bus had arrived. I felt embarrassed that my story didn't make sense. I couldn't put my words or memories together. She must have thought I was an idiot. I told her I would catch up with her tomorrow, when I was feeling more myself.

She got on the bus, and I continued on my jog. I was scared now. It was night, and I was completely lost. I couldn't figure out my memories, my sense of direction, or why I was even running in the first place. I started to panic, and stopped into a nearby storefront that had a group of people meeting inside. I wanted to ask directions.

I interrupted a presentation by an older woman. She was handing out papers for some sort of survey or exam. I started to tell her about the synchronistic coincidence story, and asked her if it made sense. I wanted her to tell me I wasn't crazy. She couldn't help me, so I left. As soon as I walked out the door, I realized something wasn't right. I knew this must be a dream. I walked back into the meeting, stood in front of the class, and told everyone, "Stop! Something is wrong. I think this is a dream." I stooped down under the table, and waved my hand through the table legs. People were watching me like I was insane. I then stood up, and told everyone, "Do what I do. The world is not as stable as it seems. Place your fingertips under the table, and lift up as hard as you can." I followed my own instructions, and my hands squished right through the wood tabletop. It was like it was made of putty.

Now people started to believe me. Suddenly, instead of a group of people, it was a chat room with a group of avatars. One person started lecturing about lucid dreaming, saying, "Lucid dreaming is well understood. It can be cured through meditation and hard work." I couldn't understand why he thought it was a disease.

I realized his voice sounded strange. He was made up of multiple celebrity sound bites, like one of those joke sound boards you use for prank calls. I started to realize he was not real. His avatar started to animate like a flash movie. It grew to the size of the whole screen, and a psychedelic beatles song started playing "Making it happen...Making it happen..." A trippy 60s style music video started playing. It reminded me of Mumbleboy (http://mumbleboy.com/ )mixed with Sargent Pepper.

I thought to myself, "Oh no, he has hacked the chat. I better go tell a moderator before this gets out of hand."

Shopping Cart Destruction
I was measuring a huge half built communal house. I was alone, but on my cell phone with a guy from work, and the contractor. There was a video of the house on a small television. It was a view from the rooftop. I realized the house was huge, and it would take me weeks to measure. I saw one of the guys on the roof pick up a shopping cart, and drop kick it. He kicked it incredibly hard and far. It smashed into a tower, and knocked the roof right off. I thought to myself, "Great, now I have to detail a new roof plan for that tower. Ass hole!"

Something is Wrong
I left the room, and found myself outside on the driveway of my mother's house. It was night time and I could barely see. I was scared. Something was not right. There was a creature on the front lawn. I approached it, thinking "There's no such thing as monsters." I felt like a child, scared of the dark in their own bedroom. I realized the creature was my winter coat balled up on the front lawn. It scared me that it would be on the lawn. Why would my stuff be here? My mother didn't even live in this house anymore. I picked it up, and decided I wanted to go home. Something was very creepy and wrong. I realized that I was locked out of the house, with my car locked inside the garage.

I was panicked. I had to get my car. I leaned against the garage door, and started to press my hands through the cold metal. I stopped halfway through. "Wait a minute. First, I had better do a RC to make sure this is a dream." I pulled my hands back through the door, and looked down at them. In the darkness, I counted six fingers. "Six fingers. Shit! This isn't just a dream, it is a lucid dream!" I hopped into the air, hovered for a second, and then took off into the sky.

Just then, my girlfriend rolled over and woke me up!

The Auction House
I was at an auction at Sotheby's. I was supposed to be meeting my friend who works there, to help me buy a piece of artwork. I wanted it so bad, I dropped everything, and flew all the way to New York to bid on it. The place looked like a giant mall. I couldn't find my friend, and soon figured out that the place was closed due to rains. I thought to myself, "Next time they have an event like this, they should spring for a live band. That way, people can still hang out in this great building, even if the auction is closed. What a wasted trip for me."

The place was abandoned. I was looking for a secret passage to the art department. I passed by an overpriced specialty foods delicatessen type store, and a bakery with great looking cakes. I got lost in the antiques department, in an endless maze of vases, furniture, and other old lady stuff. I couldn't find my way out, and soon realized I must be dreaming. I still felt frustrated and angry, and started smashing all the priceless antiques. Someone called the cops, and they had me surrounded. The hostage negotiator put my parents on the megaphone. They were yelling at me for being so reckless and childish.

I knew it was a dream, so I escaped the mall, and flew out to where all the cop cars, swat team, and hostage negotiators were parked. I flew above everyone's heads yelling, "This is a dream, Fuckers!" I laughed hysterically, while showering them with smashed priceless vases and sculptures. They were all running around like idiots, not knowing if they should catch the art pieces, or dodge them as they came tumbling out of the sky at deadly speeds.

The last thing I remember is seeing my mom and dad in the middle of a ring of police cars, shaking their heads disapprovingly.

lol that last dream was pretty funny

You recall heaps of details...

Originally Posted by Bethany

lol that last dream was pretty funny

You recall heaps of details...

Thanks My recall has been great lately, but I haven't had any time to properly record dreams. Time to slow things down for summer. I don't like being too busy to enjoy life.

Oops, I thought I already posted this dream...damn technology...evil robots...grumble

The Dance Party
I am relaxing with friends at an outdoor bar. We are facing a raised stage that doubles as a counter for the bartender. A band is playing, and people are milling around and dancing. I see a young Asian woman sitting with friends at a nearby table. The way she is looking at me creeps me out. She does not look familiar, but I recognize the look she is shooting me. Where do I know that look from?

The woman and her friends come and sit at our table. The Asian woman sits down between me and my friend. There is not enough room for her, and she has to sqeeze between us. She doesn't say a word, even when my friend tries to talk to her. He makes a joke about her just wanting free drinks from us guys. I playfully pull out a two dollar bill and put it on the table in front of her as part of the joke. She reaches over to me, and grabs my forearm. I am a little uncomfortable, because she still has not said a word. She is giving off this creepy vibe that feels so familiar. Her hand starts to wander, and soon it is in my lap. She starts grabbing me through my pants, and it is very uncomfortable.

Suddenly, I realize that she is a dream character. I pull away from her, and stand up, lucid. I look at her eyes, and there is something wrong with them. They look like an animal's eyes, or a mannequin. I feel much more calm now that I realize this is all a dream. I thank the woman for helping me become lucid, and no longer feel creeped out.

I look around myself, letting the lucidity wash over me. What a great party to be lucid at! A redheaded woman is leading a band, playing upbeat songs. There are tons of good looking girls and guys on the dance floor, and at the outdoor tables. I realize it is very similar to the wedding I was just at last week. I start dancing with some friends, and it feels really good. I am a much better dancer than in real life.

I get a perverted idea, and climb up on the table. I yell, "Everyone, listen up! Time to get Naked!! Girls on the left, Guys on the right! Chop chop people, its Naked Time!" Everyone starts undressing as the band plays. I only let people back on the dance floor when they have removed some clothing. The whole scene doesn't feel sexual at all. It is more of a fun joke. A story I want to tell people later.

I grab my girlfriend, and we keep dancing. I tell her that she and I are the only ones who don't have to get naked. People's clothes keep reappearing, and we have to keep walking around reminding them to take them off. There is a big mess somewhere in the middle of the dance floor where I joke with a couple about their body piercings and tattoos, and we compare the work we've had done. It escalates into a sexual situation, but we don't get far before I decide there is more fun to be had.

I jump up on the stage and yell, "Stop the music!" The record squeals comically, and everyone stops dancing like a bad movie. I turn to the band leader, and whisper to her , "Back to the Future, Baby!" She starts to argue, not knowing what that means. Instead of explaining, I then turn to the crowd, and say into the mic, "Next up, Karaoke."

My girlfriend climbs up on the stage, and starts to sing, "Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News." I jump back into the crowd, and continue dancing. I work the floor with a few windmills, then pop up on the table to do some head spins. I end up doing a hand stand between two tables, with one hand on either table. I then do a handstand push-up that launches me into the air. As my girlfriend belts it out on the mic, I float around the dance floor hovering in mid air, doing the worm and feeling pretty cool.

I wake up, back in bed. I head to the bathroom, and look at myself in the mirror. I look at my teeth, and notice a chip taken out of the front one. I think I must have done it at that great naked karaoke party last night. As I am thinking about the huge dentis bill, I see that all my teeth are transparent, like cheap plastic. I worry for a second, then remember, "Wait, that party was a lucid dream. This must be one too!" I wake up for real, back in bed.

I keep my eyes closed, and reenter the dream. I imagine the feeling of rubbing my hands together while looking at them. It works for a second, and I hear the music start up again. I then slip back awake. I try again, this time imagining rolling side to side. This works even better. I get a good rhythm going, and roll right off the bed and into a midair barrel roll. I throw my arms out to stop the roll, and find myself flying above a huge 2D map.

It looks like a map you would see on a GPS display. I fly down lower, and watch the view change to a street view, like a Google Map. I land in a busy city street, where my girlfriend and my friend Jen are talking. They are discussing what movie they want to see. I refuse to see a movie, saying, "Its my dream, and I don't want to waste it with a movie." Jen agrees, saying she has already seen the movie three times. She explains it is a film about Italian immigrints called Mama Mia. She then sings the annoying and catching stereotypically Italian song, "Mama mia, mama mia." She talks about how much she hates that movie, and hates the song even more. I agree that it is an annoying song.

My girlfriend decides that if we're not going to see the movie, she wants to get some Italian food. I refuse, still wanting to do something fun in my dream. She then pushes me down on the ground, and sits on me. She grows into an enormous fat man with curly hair. She looks like the fat guy from the TV show Lost. I start making fun of her saying, "You still want some food, fatty fatts a lot?" I then start singing the "Mama mia" song again, and reach up to pull her/him close to me. I wrap my arms around her lovingly and whisper in her ear, "Jen is going to hate this..."