I don't have my actual DJ handy, so you'll have to excuse the lack of pretty formatting.
Don't Mess With Grandma... Seriously.
I was at my school, planning my B-day party. I was trying to decide what food to get, and I was considering getting Pizza Chicago, but I also wanted something light to make sure I'd have room for dessert. I tasted a piece of a different kind of pizza. It was quite possibly the best cheese pizza I'd ever had, but it was just cheese, so it was also a bit bland compared to other types.
Somehow I ended up decorating some really tall tophats, which came in bright colors. The box said that it had enough, but when we opened it half of them were these little lame round hats. I decided that I would "tie-dye" (using a paintbrush) a washcloth, but then I realized we didn't have any. My history teacher offered to go get some, and after a bit of hesitation I followed her.
We got to the store, and there were some doughnuts. We stared at them for a while, and then she asked if I wanted one. I said yes, and we each took one, and I saw the prices. The most expensive one was 1000 cents. Wow, $10 for a single doughnut, I thought. I was halfway through the amazingly delicious doughnut when she told me that she didn't have any money left. I was annoyed at her. She suggested that we sell them.
"No one will buy half-eaten doughnuts," I told her. Plus I wanted to finish the rest of mine. She didn't believe me, so I started running around asking people if they wanted to buy a half-eaten doughnut. I got some very strange looks. We decided to rejoin the rest of our group (which was now in the store's bathroom). There were three bathrooms (each with multiple stalls/showers), and my group filled up one of them. It was very steamy inside.
I opened the door and asked a couple of girls if they would lick a string of hair with frosting on it. They looked disgusted and tried to walk past me, but I blocked the entrance to our bathroom, saying that it was full. I went back inside and accidentally bumped the door open again.
Now there was a really fat guy in a white shirt standing outside. I told him that my family was using the room. He grabbed me, picked me up, and shoved me out of the room. I knew that he was thinking that it wasn't fair that we were holding places for each other. "Hey!" I shouted, not wanting him to kick out the rest of my family too.
My DC grandma came out of her shower wearing a green old lady swimsuit and glared at him. "Get out now, or you'll see more than you've ever wanted to see," she warned him, starting to pull her swimsuit strap off of her shoulder.
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Alaska
We were in Alaska, driving down a winding snowy road in a van. We were going pretty fast, and I was worried that we would skid and fall off the nearby cliff. Luckily we made it there safely, and we put on these things that were like a combination of skis and crampons. We went down some stairs made of hard plastic that were floating in the water, so it was really hard to balance. At the bottom was a platform made of ice, which tilted as I stepped on it. I got wet, but the water was surprisingly warm. The guide explained that we had to be careful on this trip because we might have shared nightmares. My mom remarked that it was strange that they would mention something so obscure. "Well, it is part of a lucid dreaming camp," I told her. Then I realized that it wasn't a lucid dreaming camp, and I was slightly confused.
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Alaska (continued)
We were in a pine forest, sitting at a green plastic picnic table. We were doing an art project where you wrote stories onto pieces of paper and then glued them onto a bigger piece of paper. I didn't like how any of mine were turning out, so I made a lot. I felt something scratch my arm lightly, but I didn't think anything of it. Awhile later I looked and saw that I had a huge gash all along my arm. I wondered where I'd gotten it from; the scrape from earlier hadn't felt nearly as bad as my arm looked now. The guide saw me, then went to get my mom, who came quickly and promptly started freaking out.
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