Sex Tape at The Bar
I did not until last night realize how powerful a dream could be. They are just as real as real life even without being Lucid, and its not funny in the least. And I hardly believe this dream myself, so if it seems like I’m writing bull, I don’t blame you at all for not believing. There are people on the internet like that, I suppose. Anyway, It takes place over the span of at least four days…
I go to the bar at Dutchies, because I am now 19. I get a couple of beer, because I make the decision that vodka is absolutely retarded and I can’t handle it. I can see people gambling father away. I flirt up some guy, and my father happened to be at the bar and see and became all obnoxious and annoying and pissed off, so I just left. That was day one, which though I’m leaving out details, seemed as long as a full dream within itself.
However, I come down the next day to the bar, and there are these two chicks I am flirting up. One is a bit thicker and has blonde hair, and the other is thing with long black hair, both are pretty cute. So we go into a back room, and we’re making out and before I know it its getting really extreme. I’m leaving out the details, but every single part of it was super realistic. Every touch was like in real life, And I remember thinking, “Damn, I know I told Kyla she should stop hooking up with people in bars, and here I am already”. On a side note, another part of the realism of the dream was that I was reflecting on thoughts I’d already thought in waking life, with intense clarity. I was super trashed when this was taking place, though. I remember before I got on the bed, I fell over onto something vague in the bedroom, a broken chair I think? We got up after, and I left the bar to go home. The length of this segment seemed about 2~3 hours.
That night I proceed up to my friend Jesse’s house, with Cody. This is almost like a whole other dream, except I remember what just happened perfectly. I’m eating Pizza with Jesse & Cody like during our real life sleepovers, and I tell Jesse that I know his girlfriend was here for like a month, and that he could have at least answered his phone because its not like I was going to cuss her out just because she’s annoying. (in real life… right now, he is actually ignoring his phone and blocking msn to –everyone- because his stupid internet girlfriend is visiting his house for a month and shes antisocial) He doesn’t say to much on the matter, like usual about anything, and so I proceed to tell them about the hotties I hooked up with. Cody is a little worried, and Jesse just laughs and is like –scooore-. Which was fine. I contemplate asking his mother if she liked Alex (his girlfriend) while Alex was here, but decide not to because getting into conversations with Janesta (his mom) is like getting caught in a bear trap and taking at least two full hours to pry yourself out of it. That was day 2.
I am back at the bar for some reason, again, and I see my mother sitting at a table. I walk over and sit down and have a beer with her and tell her about how annoying it was that dad was here at some point. One of the girls from the other night walks by and says hello to me, and I am already out of the closet to my mother so I don’t care if I look obvious in the way I talk to the chick. I get up and leave with the girl. One of my friends is there, I think vaguely Colleen, and by vaguely I mean sometimes it was her, and sometimes it was a random dream character who I don’t know but knew in the dream. Someone is playing blackjack at a table. I order a pitcher of beer to split with me, the chick (the blonde one), and Colleen/DC. The black haired girl comes over, as well. After sitting around and having a long chat, (& some necking?) me and Colleen leave the table. I randomly wander into the room from the other njght with the chicks, feeling like there is something I need to see. So I go in, and it is the first time that I realize there is a large tripod and recording system. At first I find it sexy, and I attempt to look through the camera at us to see what it looked like. That’s when I notice there are other people on the camera too, as though this happened with different people at different times, and they’re storing it all there. I’m told to get out of the room by someoen who owns the bar. I am suddenly mortified. So, I go up to the owner, some greasy man who is lanky, has bad slightly balding hair and a creeper look in his eye. I ask him about the tape, and tell him that I had no clue that’s what was going on and so could I please have the tape. He said, “No, what, how do you think I’m going to pay the bills? Or do the things I wanna do?” And I told him that my whole life being ruined is a little more important. I went into the whole you know, sob story, blah blah blah I wont be able to go outside if people see this anymore please don’t do this blah blah, and he still refused. Then he said something that made no sense, which I guess is because dreams are random, and he was like if you’re going to adress me you have to adress hell too, because that is how strong the rage in me boils when you ask me stupid questions like this. Needless to say I left, but I already had in mind what I had to do. He was following me a bit, and I could tell he was making sure I wasn’t up to anything. So I looked nonchalant and walked in the opposite direction of the room for a moment.
I saw the man turn into a place that wasn’t there before, that I didn’t seem to question. The place wasn’t even a bar anymore, it just had the vague shape the bar had before. Inside where he turned into there was a small back door, and I peeked inside and noticed he was getting beer and wasn’t looking at me anymore. So I went inside the room with the tape, grabbed it out of the thing (which I should have done in the first place instead of being bemused by it) and started trying to break the casette in half. I was so dumb. I then remembered that you break tapes by pulling the string/film all apart, so I started pulling on it when a co-owner of the bar barged in, presumably also in the business with the other creep. He started trying to grapple it out of my hands, but I was so determined to not have it seen, and I remember being so anxious and having so much adrenaline from it, and I broke free and I’m running and pulling the tape out at the same time. He half catches me but I’m still pulling the tape out and trying to wrangle myself out of his grip on my shirt, until its all pulled and unravelled but its not enough for me, I want it unfixable so I start gnawing at it while yanking myself away. Then its broken beyond repair, he stops trying to grab me, and just stars at it incredulously. The other creepy man, the owner, comes over, and sees the tape in my hand, and is enraged beyond anything I could ever imagine. He begins to attack me, still after the tape which I for some reason won’t let go of even now. He has a knife, and I am backed into some sort of kitchen (yeah…theres randomly a kitchen now lmao) And he’s screaming at me, that his boss is going to be so pissed, and stupid things like how he wont be able to play golf with some guy I’ve never heard of, and I start crying and screaming. I have a knife in my hand (cant remember when I grabbed that up, but I was in a kitchen so it isn't too far fetched) but he has one, too, and he’s taller and stronger. I’m bawling my eyes out, trying to fend him off, but he cuts me several times, in my side, deep. I basically adopt the Fight or Flight instinct, and since I can't run I just attack him head on (still in hysterics) and though he grabs my arm and hurts me I manage to stab the knife through his stomach, and I don’t stop stabbing until he’s completely dead. The other guy is still there, but he is under like, a cutting board (I know, it makes no sense) and is trying to get up, and Colleen/random person somehow stabs THROUGH the cutting board into his hand. He’s not dead but his hand is locked into place on the table with the knife. I’m like, a wreck at this point, and I don’t even know what to say. Colleen suggests I call 911 but I am debating whether I want to wait here and do that, or just run home as fast as I can. I decide I need to call 911, but the place is a club again, and theres this annoying guy on the phone already calling the police. His reason was, “HALLO, poh-lice? I am at Dutchies (the bars name… it’s a place by where I live irl) and some fool here wont shut the hell up!” So I start yelling at him that I have an emergency and need the phone for more important reasons, but I’m like on the verge of tears, and he still won’t give me the phone. Finally, I get the phone and I am detailing everything to the police. And I’m half ashamed, embarrassed about the story and I start crying, and she asks where the man that attacked me is and I tell her that I killed him and I cry even harder, and I’m so worried I’m going to be taken to jail or something. I vaguely remember that I should look for the tape as evidence, if it can be salvaged at all. That was day three.
I am at home, daytime, and Colleen is sitting on the couch with me, having stayed the night before. I’m talking on the phone to Steffi, relaying everything that happened to me. From the chicks to being at Jesse’s house to finding the tape and killing the guy, and she’s all sympathy. I think to myself but don’t say to her that maybe this is karma for having watched that rape porn the other day and didn’t feel bad. (Yes, I did in waking life. What can I say, normal porn is boring sometimes. If I’ve offended anyone…oh well, the dream wasn’t real so I still don’t feel bad) And I reconsider my morals, and wonder why I need to experience something of the pain myself in order to be empathetic towards it. Then I think that, I am empathetic and understand the pain before this happened but I just don’t feel bad, which is even worse and that maybe I deserved everything that happened. I think the realism of my thoughts in the dream is also what freaks me out, along with how a lot of my thoughts are in sync with my memories of waking life. I get off of the phone and I look at Colleen. I lift up the side of my shirt to where I got sliced three times. I ask her if they’re really bad. “…Yes”. Are they deep? “Yes”. … But, do you think when they heal, they wont leave a large scar? “…No..” I thank her for being honest, and I look at her and I ask if she’ll stay the night again tonight. I say, “Look, I know you were already here and you went through a bit but…could you maybe stay tonight too? I don’t wanna stay in the house alone” And she says, “But tomorrows Friday, you have plans with Steffi, don’t you?” I reply, Oh, yeah…and trail off, unsure of if I want to go anymore or not, to another club, no less. That was day four. I woke up.
Another thing that surprises me is how in sync with time the days were to real life. When I went to sleep, it was Monday. (Well, Tuesday technically, because it was past one am, but the point is that my mind felt it was Monday). Then 4 days go by… and Colleen says on the fourth day that “tomorrows Friday, don’t you have plans with Steffi”?? Which is frightening because it truly would have been Friday, and I really do in real life have plans to go out with Steffi to the club.
I was pretty shaken up for about 10 minutes after the dream, (and the RELIEF oh my God you cannot imagine the relief) but I don’t feel bad after having written this. Well, to be honest it makes me a little freaked out about sleep now, and it makes me question waking life more. The fact that I experienced what seems like 4 days in the matter of what could only have been 3~4 hours of sleep weirds me out a shit-ton. Theres blank spots of course, like I don’t remember going to bed, or walking to Jesse’s house, or actually going to the bar, just being there, but in the dream you don’t notice that, so the passing days seem all too real. I also don’t like the consistency of the dream, is it even regularly possible? I know a lot of things were askew but the storyline never really faltered throughout, the only thing is I cannot imagine being at a bar three days in a row : / Boring. Anyhow…The End.
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