monogamy...

**Leo Volont** · 02-28-2006 02:29 PM

Originally posted by Gwendolyn

I understand your opinion, Leo, I was only trying to say that monogamy, not adultury, was the subject of this thread. I mean, if you are married and you want to be with someone else for awhile, why not just divorce? It's a pretty easy process, and even children who are the products of divorce are really pretty stable individuals. I don't think that there is any excuse for adultury, unless it is agreed upon by both partners, or one person leaves the other. Why stay married?

That is true.

But often married couples incorporate celibacy into their effective definitions of their monogamy. They don't want sex to disrupt their arrangment one way or another.

You see, after a certain point in one's sexual experience, one realizes that there is nothing new under the sun. If you have a working relationship with your spouse -- not sexually, but functionally -- he or she brings home money, cleans, does the shopping, pays the bills, fixes the cars, etc. Then it seems silly, if sex is no longer THAT important, to get a divorce. Who will bring home money, clean, do the shopping, pay the bills, fix the cars.

Indeed, I would consider getting married again EXCEPT that I suppose the lady would expect to have sex, and would probably expect to be able to intrude upon my privacy. Many marriages would benefit, I suspect, if only certain personal boundaries were tacitly, that is, culturally understood and accepted. As it is, couples get married because they are in love and certain issues are never explicitly confronted -- that each person will have one room that is exclusively and privately their own, with no intrusions ever allowed, that behavior won't be informal, that all ettiquettes and polite forms will maintain. I suppose the greatest problem in modern marriages is that the couples are expected to share a bedroom. My god, but when can anybody ever get any privacy!?

**mongreloctopus** · 02-28-2006 04:03 PM

Originally posted by Leo Volont

My god, but when can anybody ever get any privacy!?

lucid dreams

**Gwendolyn** · 02-28-2006 04:32 PM

Originally posted by Leo Volont

That is true.

But often married couples incorporate celibacy into their effective definitions of their monogamy. *They don't want sex to disrupt their arrangment one way or another. *

You see, after a certain point in one's sexual experience, one realizes that there is nothing new under the sun. *If you have a working relationship with your spouse -- not sexually, but functionally -- he or she brings home money, cleans, does the shopping, pays the bills, fixes the cars, etc. *Then it seems silly, if sex is no longer THAT important, to get a divorce. *Who will bring home money, clean, do the shopping, pay the bills, fix the cars. *

Indeed, I would consider getting married again EXCEPT that I suppose the lady would expect to have sex, and would probably expect to be able to intrude upon my privacy. *Many marriages would benefit, I suspect, if only certain personal boundaries were tacitly, that is, culturally understood and accepted. * As it is, couples get married because they are in love and certain issues are never explicitly confronted -- that each person will have one room that is exclusively and privately their own, with no intrusions ever allowed, that behavior won't be informal, that all ettiquettes and polite forms will maintain. *I suppose the greatest problem in modern marriages is that the couples are expected to share a bedroom. *My god, but when can anybody ever get any privacy!?

I think that is a very valid argument. This is one of the issues my fiance and I have discussed. I don't think it is fair to trap a person into thinking you have the right to intrude on someone's privacy, even if they are your spouse. I think it is only natural to want your own personal space, and these things are aspects my fiance and I do not want to give up completely. Even if you do sleep in the same bed, you could have seperate 'rooms' of the house, as your own. My parents have had problems regarding privacy recently, and seeing this was the warning I needed to take this into account.

**irishcream** · 02-28-2006 10:34 PM

I agree with you. My 'stuff' is my 'stuff'. I leave my diary lying around, and i trust my boyfriend not to read it...
I'd be mad if he ever did. I don't go through his stuff, unless i've asked first, something like 'what you got in here, can i see?'

Thread: monogamy...

LinkBack

Thread Tools

Display

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions