Thread: "Why do I like boys?"

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

Yo mama's pedocurious.

Don't you be talking about my pedocurious momma.

Originally Posted by Sandform

Hehe, pedocurious.

Hah! xD

Anyways, I'm 16.

I had a nice chat with Xyster in the DV chat yesterday about all this, and for once, it was actually a serious chat, and not just LOL LOLICON HURR DURR.

I don't really know what I should write in the thread :S
Some time ago, I was pretty close to making a thread in the Help section about it, but now I'm close to getting help from my teacher.
(This means she knows I have a problem, but I have to take the initiative to tell her about it all ;_; )

And now we're working on a project in school. And I have to write a report about homosexuality vs. pedophilia.

The problem about creating a thread is that I don't know shit about it myself. I'm pretty confused about all this myself.

Am I a control-type pedophile?
Is it because I'm going through omigawd-hormones-Phase?
Is it a disorder?
When did I become this? And have I always been like this?
Me: Oh come on, me, I'm me, I would never hurt anybody
Doubt: O'rly now...?
Me: Oh fuck I don't know now!
Me: Oh come on, me, I'm me, I would never hurt anybody...
Rinse and repeat.

Please say it ends when I exit puperty ;;

PS. I might make a thread, but I'll need ideas about what to say in it, then xP
I think everything I could fit into a thread has already been scattered about on the forum by myself.

Maeni, all I have to say is that you have the final say over your actions, even if not your attractions.

You're 16? You're not an adult yourself, so I don't think it'd be fair to label you as a pedophile. (Not an adult by U.S. standards, that is.)

Well the (silly) definition of 'Pedophile' is this:
* A. Over a period of at least 6 months, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child or children (generally age 13 years or younger);
* B. The person has acted on these sexual urges, or the sexual urges or fantasies cause marked distress or interpersonal difficulty;
* C. The person is at least age 16 years and at least 5 years older than the child or children in Criterion A.
(taken straight outa Wiki)

The real, the simple and good definition of 'Pedophile' is this:
One who is sexually attracted to children. (Children as in before puperty.)

And let me just say, that there's a big gab between a 16 year old and a 7 year old...
So saying that just because I'm young, I can't be a pedophile is silly.

I've had someone here on DV tell me it's pretty normal to be sexually attracted to people on my own age.
That's true. But if you consider 7 year olds "around my age" then that's just silly :V

Oh okay, I thought you were talking about being attracted to like 13 year olds, which in your case would seem fine to me.

But yes, it's clear to me now that you have a problem. But you realize this too, so I think there's hope for you yet.

That's nice

I'm still working on telling somebody, though...
Now I'm writing this project, yay finnally the snowball got rolling.

I'd show you peeps some of it.. But it's in Danish =_=

Originally Posted by Maeni

That's nice

I'm still working on telling somebody, though...
Now I'm writing this project, yay finnally the snowball got rolling.

I'd show you peeps some of it.. But it's in Danish =_=

Thats cool, I speak.

Originally Posted by Zera

So, your point is? Because some kids might have a sexual desire, does that make pphilia right? What's your deal?

Did you even read what I wrote? All I was arguing against was the misguided notion that kids can't possibly have sexual thoughts. I am not arguing for pedophilia. Those are two different things. Get it straight.

A man wants a woman, but he doesn't understand how anyone would want him.

It's a double double standard. Both straight and gay people (maybe) don't understand how one can be sexually attracted to the same or opposite sex, respectively; both straight men and women (maybe) can't understand how the other sex could love their own sex.

This thread is incredible comedy.

It's amazing how people can't even define the word paedophile. It's even more amazing that people can't tell the difference between a paedophile and a child molestor.

I'm sorry I just had to bump this, but utter stupidity in action is always very funny.

I don't see what's so stupid about it, nor how fine line semantics are very applicable.

Fuck it, who really cares? This thread hasn't received too many of the mature and insightful posts about the original topic, compared to the abundant sideline comments about offshoot definitions.

Gloom gloom.

Re: the OT,

ClouD, it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but there's a good chance that if you don't make an effort to sustain your interest in boys, you'll grow out of it. Just anecdotally, I've known a few people (including me) who were bi or even gay in their teens and early 20s and are now more like a .5 on the Kinsey scale (0/6 being exclusively hetero). One of my close relation's ex-bfs is now pretty much his wingman. Some people are very solidly homo or hetero, but for a lot of us who have spent some time in the middle, it's more about where life takes you.

Originally Posted by ClouD

What is it about them?

The familiarity? Sense of commonality?
The innocence?
Not having to say much? Understanding without words?
Common ground in gender, in existence?

Women think on a completely different plane in my opinion. They don't like video games, gorey movies, computers ect. I would have no similiar interests. (of course I'm only speaking of the chicks I know)

Males are familiar in their thinking process, because I am a male as well. The sex drives are also familiar because I have them too. (OMG!! you jerked off while looking at porn???..... aren't I.... pretty enough????)

Love of beer helps, I don't know many chicks that love beer, but my partner does and will drink it with me. I just think chicks make better friends. I have never had much success living with one for long.

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

But yes, it's clear to me now that you have a problem. But you realize this too, so I think there's hope for you yet.

What's the problem? That in today's modern societies his sexual preference is not accepted? That's his problem? Not so long ago me and my partner would have been stoned to death for being gay. So, not that many years ago, would I have had a problem Mes?

How about also not that long ago, the white guy who was attracted to black women, he would also have a problem? Correct?

Our sexual norms are defined by the society that we live in. Back in the day, sex was common among boys and their teacher. (you know that greek stuff) Do we think that it was destructive back then? Or since it was the society norm, maybe it wasn't?

Mes, it just seems really insulting for you to say that he has a problem. How do you know what would be a problem now, if the religious leaders over the last 100s of years didn't demonize sex? We don't know.

Right now his only problem is how to live life without giving into urges. Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating child abuse whatsoever. But sex is completely based on the way the society has evolved. This society has evolved to demonize sex.

BTW, Mes, not trying to pick on you, but I would love to hear your thoughts

Originally Posted by Rakjavik

Mes, it just seems really insulting for you to say that he has a problem. How do you know what would be a problem now, if the religious leaders over the last 100s of years didn't demonize sex? We don't know.

Right now his only problem is how to live life without giving into urges. Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating child abuse whatsoever. But sex is completely based on the way the society has evolved. This society has evolved to demonize sex.

Self righteous prudishness may exacerbate the stigma upon pedos, but that hardly means it's not a problem in any other sense. Among other things, Maeni has the problem of lacking a healthy sexual outlet. For him to have expression, even via pornography, someone has to be grievously harmed (the vast majority of people who have sexual contact with adults during childhood have plenty of problems).

Originally Posted by Taosaur

Among other things, Maeni has the problem of lacking a healthy sexual outlet. For him to have expression, even via pornography, someone has to be grievously harmed

True. But he has already said he has at least one outlet which is drawings (loli). I guess what I meant was that he doesn't have a mental disease. It is a problem, but a problem in the same way that being born a jew in Germany was during Hitler's reign. Not something you can control.

Ah, well yeah, 19 days 'till therapy.

And when Mes said I had a problem, I kinda took it as the problems paedophilia brings with it.

Either it's a teenage phase, and I will be normal by the end, or
It's just how my sexuality is, in which case I'll learn to live with it

It's impossible to change a persons sexuality, so my paedophilia is not what I'm trying to "cure", but it has brought me other problems, which I wish to be rid of, and learn to cope with in the future.
(Stress, anxiety when children are present, sudden lack of motivation, random depress-attacks, rage attacks - Stuff like that.)

And to Rakjavik, I partly agree
I think the media enhances what's happening.
Child abuse was probably still harmful back when nobody gave a shit - But now the media is here to enhance the harmfulness, which makes it seem worse now than it was back then.

But other than that, yeah, Gays have gotten acceptance, it should be us next :V

Originally Posted by Maeni

It's impossible to change a persons sexuality,

It might be impossible to move purposefully from point A to point B (i.e. declare "I'm going to like adult women only"), but neither is sexuality a fixed quantity, especially during adolescence. Sexuality develops and changes over time, and who attracts you now is not necessarily who will attract you ten years from now.

Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for ;D

Especially because I'm in puperty, so there's alot of potential for getting back to "normal".
However, that's out of my control - So if it's going to change, cool. If it doesn't, so be it.

Originally Posted by Maeni

When did I become this? And have I always been like this?

always? really? so when you were like 3 months old you were attracted to...fetuses?

HAHA sry sry

anyway, boys...so confused, so lost, the world against them, expecting so much from them, so sweet, caring, almost angelic...

trampled on by modern day american society, and ugly, baseless prejudices, despicable thoughtless hatred...like a big black military boot crushing a tender young daisy.

that is why I like boys. well, the particular type that I like.

:)

nature/nurture?
bit of both?

i can be attracted to a bowl of snot -- i don't see why you can't 'change' sexuality.

Originally Posted by ClouD

nature/nurture?
bit of both?

i can be attracted to a bowl of snot -- i don't see why you can't 'change' sexuality.

If that is true there is probably something wrong with your brain, ClouD I'm serious. After brain injuries people have been known to hump pavement.

I hate people like you. You think just because your sexuality is different than other sexualities you think everyone else in the world must have the same sexual framework as you. You're like those religious numbnutz who are mostly straight but have slight homosexual tendencies and then think because they "fight off" their slight attraction to the same sex that gay people are like them, able to be straight but choosing to be gay. When I was a teenager I spent hours trying to be attracted to women.(Also, I don't hate you, I just mean I hate that that mentality is out there. "Oh my sexuality isn't fixed and is easy to change therefor everyone elses must be too")


I have a question for Maeni though, are you just not attracted to older girls (your age or older I mean) at all?

i'm not fighting any urge!

just saying that if i can make that choice, what is stopping others?

it seems more a limitation than a benefit.