a very disgusting side of humans.

**Carôusoul** · 01-31-2009 12:19 AM

Originally Posted by Maeni

Well that's good then :V

I hope teh party van doesn't show up :V

EDIT:

Not sure, but in my imagination, it doesn't work. The concepts from those words are still there. (Ofcourse, it's not all about the words, but more the feeling the picture sends.)
I really don't know. I mean it's not like I CAN'T get horny from boobs and adult women. But it's just not best

Urck. I kinda feel like telling my teacher right now, so I can get some help and cool my head down again =_=
I think way too much about this. Sometimes, I think I'm destroying the image I have of myself with these things.

I was imagining a scenario where I was in Fallout 3, and imagined if I had been in Billy Creel's place (A guy that found a little girl in the Wasteland, where some raiders had killed the parents.)
So I kinda imagined, what could happen if I stepped into a house, alone with a little girl where the parents were dead.

My head went wild.

Then I took a few steps back, looked at those stories I had and finally realized how fucking unrealistic and stupid they were.
Actually, I think I care more about children then alot of the people in my class and generally the people I know.
I don't know. But when I take these steps back, I want to be a father ;_;

*imaginary self lays down on the cold concrete floor - face down.*
;_;

*takes a few steps back.*
Haha, look at me, what I just wrote looks like typical teenage bullshit.
Confused about myself, confused about sexuality, feeling emo.
If just my pedophilia is part of the teenage rush too, then I'll be happy.
Make it go away

Somebody hug me

;_;

*listens to Dango Daikazoku for ultimate sad level*

What happened when your head went wild.

**Maeni** · 01-31-2009 12:32 AM

You really do want to hear, don't you.

I would call you a pervert. But I don't feel like I'm in position to do that.

**Carôusoul** · 01-31-2009 12:35 AM

I'm just curious.

**Maeni** · 01-31-2009 12:48 AM

Well I'll disappoint you I think.

It starts out with a bit of sexual shit fuck. (Won't go into details, then it would be like an ero story, which I don't think we want here - "We" as in everyone else.)
Then it's just imaginations and drama-bullshit of me regretting and feeling all guilty-like and shit. And her being all confused and crying about her parents and shit.
And I'm all like "omg I shouldn't have done that, omg can't stop myselffarrehrgwergahhweghh"

When I'm not actually completely horny, the thoughts aren't actually too sexual. Except for just the beginning. Then it's just imagining the consequences and shit.
The thing is just that sometimes they get so real that it feels like I might do that if the situation was real.
But then when I take a few steps back, I can see that that is just completely and utterly batshit bullshit.

I think I just need somebody IRL to tell me to calm the fuck down and make me realize that I won't do these things. Because no matter what I do myself, it feels like there's this little black dot of doubt - Even though I know imagining me doing those things looks completely insane.

Actually, it's really damn silly.

Then I repeat it all over with some changes.
That was actually a bit embarrasing to write. ô_o
Fight da powah.

I know you're just messing with me right now, but I feel like sharing >.<´´

**Invader** · 01-31-2009 02:40 AM

Originally Posted by Maeni

Well I'll disappoint you I think.

It starts out with a bit of sexual shit fuck. (Won't go into details, then it would be like an ero story, which I don't think we want here - "We" as in everyone else.)
Then it's just imaginations and drama-bullshit of me regretting and feeling all guilty-like and shit. And her being all confused and crying about her parents and shit.
And I'm all like "omg I shouldn't have done that, omg can't stop myselffarrehrgwergahhweghh"

When I'm not actually completely horny, the thoughts aren't actually too sexual. Except for just the beginning. Then it's just imagining the consequences and shit.
The thing is just that sometimes they get so real that it feels like I might do that if the situation was real.
But then when I take a few steps back, I can see that that is just completely and utterly batshit bullshit.

I think I just need somebody IRL to tell me to calm the fuck down and make me realize that I won't do these things. Because no matter what I do myself, it feels like there's this little black dot of doubt - Even though I know imagining me doing those things looks completely insane.

Actually, it's really damn silly.

Then I repeat it all over with some changes.
That was actually a bit embarrasing to write. ô_o
Fight da powah.

I know you're just messing with me right now, but I feel like sharing >.<´´

Maeni... Calm the fuck down. You wont do those things. You're going to remember who you are, and you are a strong person inside. You have self control, and you have a clear mind. Remember... who you are. Tell yourself that. Realize it.

**Maeni** · 01-31-2009 02:47 AM

Originally Posted by invader_tech

Maeni... Calm the fuck down. You wont do those things. You're going to remember who you are, and you are a strong person inside. You have self control, and you have a clear mind. Remember... who you are. Tell yourself that. Realize it.

Aaahhhh, well, thanks.
It didn't feel like that big of a change, though :/

Hard to 'realize it'... For some reason. And somehow.

Thread: a very disgusting side of humans.

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