Thread: need some advice please...

Originally Posted by theonetomann

Hey Guys
I had a dream last night about my mother.
I should put this post into context before i carry on.
1st off my mother died in August last year.
2ndly i do not normally remember my dreams. at all. thats why i'm asking for some advice.
i don't remember anything before the dream but I was making my way along a local street talking to someone (i feel like i was on my bike based on the speed). i'm not sure who i was talking to. i may well have just been talking to myself as no one was actually there with me.
i got to a spot on the road and saw a woman in the distance who was familiar. it was the coat and hair that i recognised but she was facing away. i got closer but it still didn't click who it was. i got to a couple of feet away and i realised. i spoke to her and said "mum?" she replied "no, it's just my memory." as she turned to look at me. She had a very concerned look on her face. kinda looked like she was crying. she motioned her head to the left and my focus was pulled to a point on the road and then i woke up very suddenly. i woke next to my fiance who was reaching the scary bit of a nightmare she was having. she was fidgiting and making lots of noise. i hugged her and calmed her down and about 2 mins later she woke up.
we then chatted for a while about the dreams and significance of the dreams and locations but i can't seem to fathom it. none of it seems to make sense to me.
could i have been astrally projecting or is it just a dream. it was very vivid and i also wonder wether mum was helping me to wake up my fiancee from the nightmare or did her nightmare wake me up from talking to my mum.
any ideas or advice.

cheers

tom.

Hi Tom. First of all, I think its more likely your fiance's nightmare would have woken you up, but there is no way of knowing this for sure.

Also, it's great that you saw your mum in a dream. I would think (and this is just my opinion) that you have lots of thoughts and feelings about her swimming around in your head, and so these will manifest in a dream. You can interpret this in any way you want - nobody here can tell you 100% anything about the reasons, just their theories. I am a firm believer in dreams have some connections with our waking thoughts and emotions. A good dream will make me feel happy the next day, a nightmare will make me scared for a bit after waking etc etc. Perhaps your subconcious knows you miss your mum, and decided to give you some time with her to fulfil those wishes you cannot do in waking life?

Hope this helps.

Thanks very much.

I know I do have unresolved issues regarding my mum.
Although we were close I still haven't cried about it or anything.
I miss her but...I don't. She was very sick and I know she hated
the way her illness made her. I dont really feel much about it.
I am a pretty closed off person for the most part and this
dream really got to me as I don't dream or at least don't remember
my dreams. It was just that it was so vivid and the look on her face
and in her eyes didn't inspire me with confidence like the dreams my
fiance has had about her mother (she died almost exactly a year before
my mum did) Her dreams are very much happy and she spends time with
her mother. mine just creeped me out.

Hi Theonetomann,

Firstly, sorry for the loss of your Mom.

I cannot give you advice as such, perhaps only to suggest that saying your experience was 'just a dream' shouldn't lessen the event itself. You mention about your fiancee having a nightmare at the same time. When you discussed your dreams, did she remember her's. Did it relate to your's? If so then it is more like a 'shared' dream possibility, rather than AP.

I have lost both parents within the last 7 months. I'm not going to come out with the "so yeah, I know what you are going through!" type scenario as each person is different. Me included. The only thing I would say that it does help to talk to someone close rather than bottle it all up.

Both parents seem to be my dreamsigns, especially my Mom. Often if I see Mom in a dream then it becomes a lucid dream; usually automatically.

I try to have a conversation with her which is intriging. I keep an 'open mind' about things like this. I'm probably talking to my subconscious - who knows? However I do mostly get some sort of solace from it, albeit temporary. Although at times how they act or even what they say can be odd just like in your example.

I did Dreamwork, including LD beforehand. However as with a lot of things I have had to put a brake on proceedings and not get too stressed out, etc.

All the best.

Hi RobStar

Yeah my other half always remembers her dreams and it had nothing to do with my mother. there were no similarities between her nightmare and my dream...other than the timing.
You know like in a horror movie when the ghost or whatever is facing away and your just waiting for them to turn around and it builds up and builds up and then you see their face and BANG the character is awake. It was like that...
i do tend to keep myself busy. i work 2 jobs and run our home among other things and i had to get straight back into it pretty much straight after the funeral.
I do believe in spirits as i feel my grandad watches over me especially in my old house (where he lived) but that never creeped me out. sometimes the "prescence" put me off and I couldn't get to sleep but my mum told me about an old Japanese lady she worked with who practised Shinto which i believe is the native belief system out there. She said that spirits just want to be close to us and forget that their presence can be weird to the living and if you just ask them politely they will bugger off for a bit...and it worked...perhaps it was just a placebo effect but it had always worked...lil bit of a tangeant there but my point is my grandad never gave me the creeps, so why did my mum...

Yes, it does help to get busy and not dwell on things.

I never really knew my grandparents as they both died before I was born, however regarding 'spirits' then I keep an open mind. I know certain people can be 'sensitive' to that type of thing. I think animals probably more so.

I wouldn't say that the dreams regarding (my) Mom have been creepy. Yes, certainly bizarre perhaps. I have recorded some in my Dream Journal entries in my book and on DV here.

It is understandable that you found that experience of the encounter with Mom a bit of a shock. Come to think of it I did recount an early dream where I saw Mom from a distance. When I got close I found that it wasn't her as such, (she sort of changed) which I found a bit unnerving. Unsuprisingly, I got quite upset in the actual dream.

You could try keeping some sort of record or journal to see if that might help if that is the direction you wanted to go in. No doubt you probably see more that featured your Mom and your recall would improve. However you have to remember dreams can be a complete enigma most times. Well in my case anyhow.

Regards.