Finally, I've found a forum to which I can discuss these very realistic and disturbing nightmares that I plague me most of my life. I've had the same recurring, slow progression dream since I was a kid, I grew up in the country side on a farm with cows and chickens I remember when laying my head down at night the dread I felt when I knew I had to fall asleep. So with that being said, I remember watching what I thought was the devil leaping from tree limb to tree limb getting closer and closer to me, I slept in the furthest room in the back of the house which also happened to be the room that allowed attic access, I would be what I thought was wide awake hearing the lumbering creaks which I then thought were footsteps in the attic, soon afterwards I remember trying to escape through my bedroom door and making it into the hallway before some sort of beast would latch onto the back of my foot and drag me up in the attic. I remember the feeling of when I was being dragged up to that attic, it was terrifying, one of the worst feelings that I've ever had.

So lets fast forward a bit to my early teen years. As you recall I was saying these dreams progressed, or maybe it's that I see them as a progression, I'm not entirely sure. However, the once repetitive dream of being dragged into the attic had almost left me, however it had mutated into something weird and in an odd sense, a lot less terrifying. So, as I would call this the second portion of my dream, the only thing I can remember about this one is swimming in what I thought was lava, I remember walking down steps while embers from a fire fell around me, as well as remembering how warm my skin felt, and how when I walked into the lava my skin started to slowly peel away and as I said earlier, as odd as it may sound, it felt so comforting and warm. I had this dream along with a combination of meeting one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life which just so happened to be red headed. Make fun if you want, but it wasn't long after this I started to draw, for whatever reason I wasn't satisfied with the length of this dream and the time I spent with my redheaded dream girlfriend, and we all know we can't exactly snap photo's in dreams, so that being said, I felt really close to this dream girl. After having this dream for years it progressed into something else.

Both of those dreams were just that, they were dreams, however, I'm now almost 33 years old and the dream I'm having now literally shocks and horrifies me to the point of I feel like I should just accept this as who I am and give into what I feel like is darkness calling to me. I literally have dreams now that I am the devil, I can't remember to many details as I do in the other two, however I remember the feeling of being powerful like nothing can stop me, a hatred so strong that it takes every last ounce of energy that I have to fight it off and hold onto the person I really am. I wake up talking about crazy things, my girlfriend has called and woke me up before and I've actually answer the phone in a very disturbing tone of "I am the devil" so I can only assume I must have been having this dream again and I just had no recall of it at the time, I'm so comfortable with this that I'm scared, or perhaps I'm only comfortable with it because I've dealt with this my entire life. Thank you all for taking the time to read, I hope to receive some positive feedback on what these dreams could possibly mean, or how I could make them go away, if that's even possible. I've also had lots of other experiences, but I figured this being a dream forum, I would only post the dreams that I have, but if your interested I can go into as much details as I can about those.