I fall out of a portal... on to a familiar looking plain at the edge of a forest. There is a castle in front of me. On the drawbridge are a bunch of cheesy DC shadow ogres. They grimace at me. I step forward, and slicing them all in half with a finger laser shout: NONE OF YOU ARE REAL.
I leap over the wall, and land in the courtyard. There is a tower I must climb. I stick my ninja fist thingies in the wall and climb up, and into a window.
There is a beautiful blond girl waiting there. It's Angel. Oh, I dyed my hair for this adventure.
Xaphor pokes his head in the window.
"But first you must defeat me!"
I close the blind on his head, and kiss my hot girlfriend.
There was something about gold or treasure? Rumpelstiltskin?
A red devil-boy appears and says, "No, that's not how you do it!"
I shrug, and kiss Angel some more.
****
Xaphor is my dream guide, and coincidentally, a red dragon. HAHAH
Well, I tried!
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