Hey Everyone,

This is kinda personal but I feel is very important to share. The contents of this are pretty brutal but bear with me... it will be an interesting and scary journey.

My brain still feels fried from what just happened to me. This is all that I can remember, something about being on a rollercoaster as a mapping point in time. It was a bright yellow rollercoaster and I was nearing the peak.

Next, I am transported to a mall with some friends. I was with some people walking around in the mall and I came to a bar, somehow I realized that I was dreaming, I grabbed a bottle of absolute citron and started chugging, i finished almost the whole bottle, then came the sex. I grabbed women from the bar and started having sex with them in the back, I kept going back and forth with great looking women. I could distinctly remember feeling very drunk in my dream. The sex was great, every imaginable fantasy was seemingly fulfilled, the deepest darkest fantasies. Then for some reason I came back and She was there (a beautiful girl I had been family friends with). She was hauntingly sad. She asked why I was doing what I was doing and why I liked her. I felt compelled to tell her how I felt. I tried telling her that the reason I liked her was because she was genuine and that she was special. I could bareley tell her as I was bawling out of my mind. The word "genuine" was on the tip of my tounge and like a six year old unable to pronouce words because of a studdered cry, I felt pathetic. Something went wrong and I felt ashamed, I went into a druken rage and started raping girls. One by one I would viciously grab them by the hair and bring them to the back. I started fading back into reality when this happened. It was indescribably horrible and I realized I was dreaming because of the distortions in my perceptions of things, it was so vivid. The black and white checkered ceiling would twist in certain areas.

Then I awoke to my twin brothers sleep talking voice, something about four five six. I think Roy (a friend from college) was there too naked walking around. They said something to each other. I though I had woken from my dream but something was wrong again, I felt it and am unable to describe it now. Next thing I know I am driving in a car with Bryan pleading and begging Bryan (a friend of mine that lucid dreams) to try to understand my pain, again I was in tears. It was dark, mysterious and etheral in a way. I kept telling him that my lucid dream went wrong, very wrong. Pain and tears do no justice to what I was feeling in the dream, truely indescribable feelings, feelings that I feel are burned into my brain. He told me something important that I now do not remember.

Next thing I know, I am in a state of purgatory, my subconcious was telling me something. It told me that the morals, ethics, and values that you hold true in real life must be carried over to the dream world too. I felt like it was a revaltion at the time and that my subconcious was teaching me a lesson. At this moment I was warped back into the yellow rollercoaster that I was riding the "map point" I was talking about earlier, it was going fast and I fell out of the seat holding desparatly onto the handle bars. and as the roller coaster went up and down, I kept saying ok im ok then ok im not okay. I realized I was dreaming and again I was transported to yet another figment of my imagination, a theatre with people just leaving. I had the realizations fresh in my mind, and a new realization that I was part dreaming again, my body was paralyzed partially and again I was begging people to help me. One girl passed by and looked like she was going to help me but proceeded to talk on her cellphone. Another elderly couple came down the steps of the theatre and was confused but was willing to help. Parts of my reality kept twisting and turning uncomfortably and uncontrollably I kept telling them to hold my hand, to ground me, to bring me back into that reality. The elderly woman tried once but it did not work. I was a prisoner of my own mind, unable to escape the torture I had created for myself. I truely thought I would be lost int this dream world forever. Something happened that I cant recall well... I shot back into reality... I woke up sitting there, stunned at what just happened. In essence I had been in a dream of a dream of a dream of a dream. If that makes any sense. This was 40 minutes ago. The dream lasted approx 1 hour.

Someone please tell me this is somewhat normal?

I am in a completely different timezone and although am not jetlagged feel like the 9 hour time difference may have caused this. This "locked within dreams of dreams" has happened before but never soo vivid and brutally torturing.


Any help, comments, questions, or flames would be greatly appreciated.