I understand your problem, when I was a kid my dreams scared me so bad I didn't want to go to sleep at night. However there are some laws to dreams that I have found throughout the years, for one the dream is a reflection of your feelings, If you want to make something scary go away you should smile at it, do not react cowardly in dreams, and you will not get a scary result. It takes a bit of will power, but it's quite simple to force a smile. Also the vivider a dream is the more likely it is to be less scary, unstable dreams are scary because they immediately respond to your sudden fears, everyone has sudden fears, like omg what is that figure over there. So yeah, most of the nightmares I've had, haven't been that lifelike.
When you get used to lucid dreaming, you'll be comfortable with the feeling of it, you'll recognize it's not like real life, it almost feels like your in a virtual video game after awhile, think of it like that, because it basically is, dreams tend to fade in and out again alot. I recognize a dream because a feeling of disconnectedness I get well in it, hard to explain unless you feel it.
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