I have been having LD's out of nowhere almost every night lately.

**SereneDream** · 10-06-2015 10:58 PM

I just woke up from a lucid dream so the dream is still fresh on my mind.. Lately without any reason I'll just have a lucid dream, sometimes two in a night. This is probably the 5th night it's happened, even though this time it was from a nap. I know some people find it difficult to fly, but I've flown every time I've dreamed now. What I can't seem to do is stay lucid for longer than a couple minutes. For whatever reason the first thing I want to do every single time I'm lucid is have sex. I get to the point where I'm about to have sex with someone and then I wake up every time. While in the dream I wish the person could talk and I wasn't just forcing myself on the person... Do I wake up because I am essentially raping a dream character?? I clearly know this is in my mind, I mean I can fly.

This is the very short version of what happened in my dream. I realized I was dreaming, walked into my house and was wanting immediately to have sex. I look around and it was all family members so I walked outside frustrated. Then I flew up in the air and back down again,and then I was outside of a pool. There was an attractive girl in a that I started kissing and then the next thing I know BAM I'm awake. I had never seen this girl but she was wearing a green bikini (my favorite color) and she had blonde hair (my hair preference).

Do you have any advice on what to do? I either want to go ahead and have sex, since that's what my mind goes to every time or figure out a way to not have that happen.

**Acmic** · 10-07-2015 01:09 AM

A lot of people are like this as well, including me.
Not sure why, but sex while you're lucid reduces dream stabilization for a lot of people.

I read that somebody was able to get past it by just telling himself that it was a regular dream and nothing would happen, and it went fine.

I used to be able to do it just fine, but it's just been a recent issue. :L

**ezzolucid** · 10-07-2015 09:26 AM

Sageous talks about this in his dream yoga class. He says that high emotions / excitement can cause you to wake up. You need to stay calm throughout and constantly remind yourself that its a dream. More importantly you need to learn DEILD, that way once you feel that your dream is ending you will be able to return back to the dream or a similar one lucid again

Sometimes during lucid sex, my dream character has morphed into something different or they just run away. I was at a lucid dream party and all the women ran off lol and i was looking everywhere for one. its frustrating when theres none about

Keep calm and carry on

Ezzo

**Redrivertears** · 10-07-2015 01:00 PM

Hey there,

Remember that men and women experience sexuality very differently, both mentally and physically, so I'd start by advising you to talk to dreamers of the same gender, so as not to confuse matters with sex-related experiences which may be very different from your own.

That said, speaking from a male perspective, I find that prolonging dream sex is tricky. The best way to do it, as far as I've found, is to focus on the dream sensations themselves and not on the finish for as long as you can. To make an analogy, consider making out, or receiving a great massage. These things are enjoyable for what they are, without needing to build up to some climax. If you can keep that same mindset during the dream sex, it can prolong the experience. And like others said, stay calm and try to keep your arousal under control.

If your wish is not to engage in dream sex at all however, I would advise you to approach this like any other dream goal. Deciding to do something, or not do to something, in your dreams is essentially the same. So read up on advice about dream goals. Have a strong intention, maybe couple it with practice scenarios during daydreams/visualization sessions, and be patient, as it can take a while for an intend to start getting reflected in your dream.

Just some thoughts,

-Redrivertears-

**fogelbise** · 10-07-2015 10:33 PM

^That sounds like good advice Redrivertears (and a belated welcome back as I see you've recently returned and are helping by using your many years of experience! Thank you!).

**I must add that anyone reading some of the other replies or the OP, try not allow yourself to fall victim to any negative schema or poisoning of your schema (easiest way to explain it is to avoid any poisoning of your expectations...don't expect to have trouble with something just because others are saying they have trouble with it). In my experience, if you are avoiding getting excited then you may very well be falling victim to having read too much negative schema! Luckily the point was driven home to me early on and I realized the truth in it when I saw how some things were difficult that others found easy but especially that other things were easy for me that others mentioned being difficult! (flying was always easy for me and when I saw that some very good lucid dreamers had or have trouble at times, it clicked for me.) I avoid negative schema like the plague (i.e. "nope..didn't see that" or "that's not fact, it's just one person's experience"...or even better resolving it in the lucid dream!).

I have had lucid dreams end while having sex...but I choose to believe that it was not because I was having sex in the LD...my REM was just over (also found ways to stay in dreamland longer even if it seems like the dream is ending...again expectation, or more accurately schema, was key in my opinion). I often have lengthy sexual experiences and I have no doubt that anyone else can too.