A little over a week ago I found my first cousin Allen dead of a heart attack. This has been especially difficult for me because we were the absolute closest people in each other's lives. My daily life and thoughts have drastically been altered by his passing. Since the day that I found him dead I have had absolutely no control in dreamtime. The irony of this is the fact that up to this point (as expressed in my postings) I have sought to NOT control my dreams. Now, when I really want to spend time with his dream image I have no control. I can still recall my dreams and I am still able to control my dream environment, but I can not consciously realize during the dream that I am indeed dreaming. Has any other advanced (or not) LDer here had a similair experience?