Thread: Cheating or Not?

Hey guys/girls,

I was just thinking about this, and thought it might be interesting to see what you all think. If you are in a commited relationship, bf/gf married or what ever. Now you go to bed and are asleep next to them, yet you have a lucid dream and and end up having lucid sex with a DC that is not them. Would you consider that cheating???

no it would not. There is a difference between fantasies and reality. Dreams are for fantasies and desires. The waking worlds matter and affects other people, but not our innner world.

No! not at all, well i dont know, if you consider fantasizing while masturbating cheating than yea i guess. but typically no i dont think it counts as cheating

Well, it might or might not be cheating but look at it this way:
How would you feel if your wife/girlfriend was having fantasies about/screwing other people in her dreams? If your fine with that and she's comfortable with you doing the same, I guess there's no problem. But if you're feeling in the least bit guilty, perhaps you should persue other activities in your dreams. Guilt sucks.
Just my opinion, anyway.

Im not trying to justify it personaly. I don't think there is a big problem. But yeah, I thought about it from the other perspective. How would he or she feel about it if they knew.

Well, if one was committed to their partner, they shouldn't have too much of a desire to fantasize. Otherwise, the relationship is lacking something? I don't like going one way or another on this type of thing, going either way seems to get me in trouble on trying to find a satisfactory opinion.

Materialistically, it doesn't "hurt" anybody, but in terms of ideals, how do you feel about it?

I don't mind if my partner has "real" sex with someone else, just as long as I can watch. So her having a sexual dream wouldn't bother me at all...however, I would hope she would share it with me.

Originally posted by Chaka
Hey guys/girls, *

I was just thinking about this, and thought it might be interesting to see what you all think. If you are in a commited relationship, bf/gf married or what ever. Now you go to bed and are asleep next to them, yet you have a lucid dream and and end up having lucid sex with a DC that is not them. Would you consider that cheating???

only if you don't talk to them about it...

Why not dream about your significant other? I could never imagine having sex with anyone else in my dreams but him, anyway....

If it only happens once then it's probably not a big deal. I would still tell them about it though, because I would want them to tell me.

If it happens frequently then that might be a sign of unhappiness with the relationship, or it could just be a fluke.

But no, generally speaking having sex with someone in a dream is nowhere near as bad as doing it for real. Even a real kiss is way worse than dream sex, in my opinion.

You're just cheating yourself... Nah, masturbation never hurt anyone, and I think of LD sex as masturbation, but alot more fun

DCs are you.

If you have sex with a DC without recognizing that they're you, you're acting out a cheating fantasy and will probably end up hurting your relationship eventually.

If you recognize that a DC is you, your honesty will probably be reflected into a much, much hotter experience, beyond sensation. And when you wake up, you're going to look at the person sleeping next to you with a much broader sense of your emotional connection with them.

There's always the third option of looking at DCs as fake and thus, toys. I don't have much experience with this one, but I can't imagine it being that bad. I bet if you told your partner about it they'd think it was pretty hot, and ask you how they could be more like your dream machine.

One thing's for sure, sex with a DC can be very different depending on how you think of them.

Fantasy is an important part of being a balanced and healthy person.

What ISN'T healthy is losing touch with reality.

As long as you distinguish fantasy from reality, it probably shouldn't concern you much.

I agree with you kim, but it would be odd if someone constantly fantasized about sexual relationships with someone other than their committed partner, don't you think?

When I was with my ex-fiancee, the only time I fantasized about another girl is if I was thinking about the two of them going at it and me with a video camera.

Originally posted by AirRick101
Well, if one was committed to their partner, they shouldn't have too much of a desire to fantasize. Otherwise, the relationship is lacking something? I don't like going one way or another on this type of thing, going either way seems to get me in trouble on trying to find a satisfactory opinion.

Materialistically, it doesn't \"hurt\" anybody, but in terms of ideals, how do you feel about it?

Well put. While dreaming, lucid dreaming, day dreaming etc about another person is technically not an act of infedility, it does make you wonder if something is lacking in the relationship in question.

Maybe it's as simple as, "Oh my husband is a doctor so I don't see him enough, so I'll just LD about some hot guy" and there's no grounds for divorce there. But if someone is seriously neglecting their partner, and the partner becomes desperate to find ways to overcompensate, which just happens to be in the form of sex dreams, then who's to say that will be enough?

Look at it from another angle. When you are in a lucid dream, it is the same as being awake, except, you are awake in a dream reality instead of a physical reality.

If you think cheating is wrong in the physical reality, what makes it right in the dream reality?

Originally posted by Seeker
If you think cheating is wrong in the physical reality, what makes it right in the dream reality?

Simple. Because nobody else is involved. In my book, that's not cheating (unless, as some others pointed out, you consider masturbation cheating, which I think is absurd).

Originally posted by TygrHawk
masturbation cheating, which I think is absurd).

NO masturbating is murder...MURDER I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

All those poor little spermies

omg you know what, sex is murder too because OMG only one sperm actually gets to live in a successfull fertilization

oh the waste..THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by OpheliaBlue

NO masturbating is murder...MURDER I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

All those poor little spermies

omg you know what, sex is murder too because OMG only one sperm actually gets to live in a successfull fertilization

oh the waste..THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You just have sperm envy Ophelia. You WISH you could commit murder, but alas you cannot, you get off free and clear and can keep up your masterbatory practices with a clean concience.

Originally posted by Seeker
You just have sperm envy Ophelia. You WISH you could commit murder, but alas you cannot, you get off free and clear and can keep up your masterbatory practices with a clean concience.

I unintentionally kill 1 egg a month

that's involuntary 1/2-a-man slaughter

unless I become Mormon and make sure each and every egg gets fertilized...but ALAS there again, engaging in the process of fertilization kills all but one spermy

sex kills

Originally posted by OpheliaBlue

I unintentionally kill 1 egg a month

Yeah, but that and masterbation are not linked. Knock yourself out girlfriend!

Originally posted by Seeker
Yeah, but that and masterbation are not linked. Knock yourself out girlfriend!

This is true

masturbating prevents me from needing to have as much sex, therefore fewer sperm are harmed

me masturbating saves lives!!!!!!!!!

Doesn't that mean you have to stop your man from masturbating too?

Originally posted by Ex Nine
Doesn't that mean you have to stop your man from masturbating too?

yes

so basically we can no longer have sex, and he can't masturbate but I can

and if I go on the pill, I'll save eggs

WE'LL SAVE BILLIONS OF LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you know your masturbating isn't going to just encourage other men to do it more?

Not that I'd want to know about that.