Scared of lucid dreaming - advice appreciated

[venusflesh]

(I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, please move it if need be!) The past several nights, I've been having some trouble. It all started the Monday before last, with a weird episode I had where it felt like I was drifting out of my body during the night, and had a weird dream-like experience. Since then, I've had 2 lucid dreams, which I've never had before. This is very new to me, and for some reason, it's REALLY scary to me. It actually wasn't scary when I had them, but the thought of having another one DOES scare me. I'm hoping I can get some feedback/advice about these fears, and maybe someone can offer something to help ease them, because I'd really like to be excited about lucid dreaming again, instead of fearful. So on Monday night, from when I went to bed at 10 pm, and until 2 am, I was literally waking up at least once per hour. As I had drifted off to sleep, I could not stop thinking about whether I was going to have an LD or not, and I was slightly scared. As I drifted off I experienced some weird vibrations and mini-dreams, but then would just wake up again not too long after. When I woke up over and over, I kept doing reality checks, and when I did them, I was really scared that I would be dreaming. You see, I WANT to lucid dream, but I'm afraid it's going to feel so real, that I won't be able to tell reality from waking life anymore. I feel like I'm developing some sort of psychosis about this for some reason. I don't know why. One thing I think is contributing to this-- I know that since that one episode on Monday night, I'm scared of being in my room in the dark. I am starting to sleep with the hall light on, and my door open halfway, to let light in. For some reason I'm just REALLY scared of a) having an LD that seems SO real that it messes with my mind and I can't tell reality from real life or b) the lucid dream is going to have me waking up in my dark room, alone, and it's going to be scary. Does anyone have any advice about this? I'm just really scared, and I don't want to be.

[shotbirds]

When you wake up from a LD it doesn't feel like you've just been there doing it a second ago. It will be blotchy like a regular dream and feel exactly like a regular (non ld) one after you wake, but while its happening it feels extremely real. But it's very simple to tell the two very different 'worlds' apart. No worries ^_^

[robot that is lucid]

You shouldn't be scared of lucid dreaming! It's awesome. You can do whatever you want to. NO CONSEQUENCES. Just look at homepage http://www.dreamviews.com And it will tell you everything about lucid dreaming.

[venusflesh]

You shouldn't be scared of lucid dreaming! It's awesome. You can do whatever you want to. NO CONSEQUENCES. Just look at homepage http://www.dreamviews.com And it will tell you everything about lucid dreaming. I know I *shouldn't* be scared, but for some reason it's still scary to me. My friend told me he had an LD once, and this is what he said about it to me: I was absolutely certain I was awake. It didn't feel like a dream at all. It was just as though I woke up, was wide awake and had to go to the bathroom. I didn't realize I was still asleep until I 'floated' down to the floor after hopping off. At that point I immediately knew I was still asleep and turned around to look at myself, and immediately snapped awake. For some reason that FREAKS me out... to be SO certain that you are awake and then realize it's a dream. What if I'm going through my every day life, at work, and all of a sudden I realize or think I'm dreaming, and don't really know??? I'm so afraid it's going to mess with my head. :/

[shotbirds]

it's just a transistion of consciousness while sleeping

[Hoon]

Don't be scared. You're always trapped in a lucid dream whether you like it or not. Think of it this way. Either you're trapped inside your own LD. Or, you're trapped inside God's LD, which most people refer to as reality. You might also want to think of it this way: LDs only last for so long before you have to wake up. If you don't, then you're probably in some kind of coma. Maybe you're on life-support or something. Since you're most likely not, it's fine to believe you're in reality when you're LD-ing. When I don't LD but have a vivid dream, I believe that a lot of my dreams are actually reality. Sometimes, they are dreadful nightmares. Sometimes, they are awesome adventures in blissful ignorance of being in a dream. Either way, they have to end at some point.

[venusflesh]

Don't be scared. You're always trapped in a lucid dream whether you like it or not. Think of it this way. Either you're trapped inside your own LD. Or, you're trapped inside God's LD, which most people refer to as reality. Well, that's definitely an interesting way to look at it... heh. Thank you for the input.

[Dash]

That doesn't happen. It's pretty obvious that you're dreaming when you're actually able to realize, compared to real life. If you're doing reality checks that are good, you would never really wonder if you're dreaming or not in the dream because the RC proves that you're dreaming. What your friend described was a false awakening. They happen often, and are just like a normal dream. You can just go somewhere else / into a different environment. It may be different from other people, but in a FA from when I was lucid dreaming, I can tell that I'm still dreaming purely on feeling alone. I wouldn't say they're scary, though. Just try having more LDs. You seem to be good at it, since you've had 2 in 3 days. That's pretty remarkable, actually. It takes getting used to.

[iank]

I'd like to have one first.

[BPolar]

i was scared when i first started training as well, but its not scary at all. You will definitely be able to tell an LD apart from being awake with reality checks.

[Shift]

Venusflesh, I can relate. After I had my first LD, I kept pursuing them, but in the back of my mind I wondered if it would ever become a problem. And then I realized the truth: You say that you are worried about not being able to tell waking life from the dream world? Well, then ideally, every dream you would have would be a lucid dream, so that you would notice the strict division between dream and real life! As it is, you spend all of your time sleeping not realizing that the dream world isn't reality. LDs are about dreams being the present environment you exist in. But the whole point of lucid dreaming is that you realize that it isn't reality!!! To achieve lucid dreaming, to get DILDs, one of the most effective methods is to reality check. Why? Because it raises your awareness about your existence and your environment- which will make sure you always know what's real and what's not. It makes you consider what's really going on, and it teaches you to differentiate between dream and reality. So you shouldn't be worried about this at all, because by learning to lucid dream, you will be learning to distinguish between reality and dreams, not blurring that line. It may seem like false awakenings are an example of the inability to tell dream from reality. But as I've said, how many false awakenings does one have without becoming lucid? Those are the real traps you're worried about. By learning to reality check every time you wake up, you can catch those FAs and make sure that you are aware of what is or isn't real. So really, learning to lucid dream is the only way to get rid of this fear. One way I've found to get over the fear of accidentally summoning scary things in a lucid dream is to plan out what you want to do and establish some fun dream goals. Ones that you are SO pumped up about and SO motivated about, that when you do become lucid scary thoughts don't even enter your mind. It seems it's more common for people to wake up from excitement, from losing lucidity by rushing into the dream, because they are that psyched about what they want to do than it is for people to give themselves lucid nightmares. Get into this mindframe, look forward to your lucid dreams, don't harp on worries and thoughts of scary things. What you think about in a lucid dream tends to happen and tends to be summoned, so try not to think of scary things. Try to remain positive. When you reality check, don't just try to distinguish whether or not you are dreaming. Try a few RCs, and when they all fail, and you're sure it's the real world, pretend that you just became lucid. Imagine what you would do at that exact moment if it was a dream. What exciting, impossible thing would you want to do??? With more experience lucid dreaming comes more confidence and understanding that everything in your dream is a construct of your own imagination, that nothing in the dream is real and that none of it can hurt you. Try to build this confidence in waking life, instead of tearing it down as you are now. Build the recognition that in a dream, you are immortal, indestructible, and that you can control everything around you. Even if something scary does show up, just be friendly towards it, and it will be friendly in return. Honestly, I think the amount of worrying that you are putting into this is what's going to be the only thing to cause you to have bad experiences. Try to turn your mindframe around, and embrace the opportunity for lucidity. Keep your lights off, and just remind yourself, "If something scary happens, it means that I'm dreaming!!!" Don't feed the fear. Embrace the opportunity.

[Dizko]

I have to say that i admire this thread and i give you a pat on the back venusflesh, for your determination to overcome this fear and ultimately enjoy it.

[venusflesh]

You say that you are worried about not being able to tell waking life from the dream world? Well, then ideally, every dream you would have would be a lucid dream, so that you would notice the strict division between dream and real life! As it is, you spend all of your time sleeping not realizing that the dream world isn't reality. Wow, that is a REALLY good way to look at it... I never thought of it that way, that when I'm in a dream, I'm thinking it's reality, but it's not. That's so helpful.... thank you! One way I've found to get over the fear of accidentally summoning scary things in a lucid dream is to plan out what you want to do and establish some fun dream goals. Ones that you are SO pumped up about and SO motivated about, that when you do become lucid scary thoughts don't even enter your mind. This is really good advice. Again, thank you-- I am going to definitely do this. Honestly, I think the amount of worrying that you are putting into this is what's going to be the only thing to cause you to have bad experiences. Yeah, I'm sure you are right about that! Heh. Silly me! Thank you so much for your response... it is really helpful and puts me more at ease.

[Shift]

Wow, that is a REALLY good way to look at it... I never thought of it that way, that when I'm in a dream, I'm thinking it's reality, but it's not. That's so helpful.... thank you! This is really good advice. Again, thank you-- I am going to definitely do this. Yeah, I'm sure you are right about that! Heh. Silly me! Thank you so much for your response... it is really helpful and puts me more at ease. Good, I'm glad to see all my rambling actually served a purpose And as always I'm glad to help

[PSPSoldier534]

Wow, that is a REALLY good way to look at it... I never thought of it that way, that when I'm in a dream, I'm thinking it's reality, but it's not. That's so helpful.... thank you! This is really good advice. Again, thank you-- I am going to definitely do this. Yeah, I'm sure you are right about that! Heh. Silly me! Thank you so much for your response... it is really helpful and puts me more at ease. Good, I'm glad to see all my rambling actually served a purpose And as always I'm glad to help It helped me too. I was worried that maybe having lucid dreams can get out of control (on a subconcious level, conciously I knew I can do whatever I want in my dreams, and not worry at all, because that would cause my worries to appear).

[Shift]

It helped me too. I was worried that maybe having lucid dreams can get out of control (on a subconcious level, conciously I knew I can do whatever I want in my dreams, and not worry at all, because that would cause my worries to appear). Ooh good 2 birds with one stone In a manner of speaking The only real concern that really, really bothered me was the worry that I would use lucid dreams as a sort of escape from real life. I do do it. And it still doesn't bother me. They're too amazing to really care all that much

[PSPSoldier534]

I only just lucid dream if I have spare time. I usually spend most of my waking hours video-gaming, airsofting, paintballing, footballing, and soccer..ball-..ing...

[mimali6]

I have never had a lucid dream. I found out about lucid dreaming two days ago. Since then, I've been keeping my dream journal and making constant reality checks. The thing is, the thought of nightmares, OBEs, and SP horrifies me. Also, I'm scared of what it is going to be like. Last night, I had a dream and woke up at 4 AM... I was so scared to go back to sleep that I couldn't sleep at all. I was afraid that if went to sleep again, I would have some kind of scary experience. I really want to learn how to lucid dream and to control and enjoy lucid dreams. But, I'm horrified. Any advice?

[Betropper]

Think of it this way: To be in a dream is usually to not know you are in a dream. That's what you are afraid of, right? To not know you are dreaming because everything is so real? Then if you are not afraid of normal dreaming, you shouldn't be afraid of being lucid. Besides, if you are afraid of it and you DO become lucid, it will only turn it into a nightmare. If you are afraid of normal dreaming however you should see a psychiatrist. Also, robot that is lucid, nice avatar lol.

[slurry]

Whenever I have a LD, I never feel as if I'm awake. It's quite the contrary actually. Since I know that I am dreaming (since because I'm lucid, I must be dreaming), I also know that I must not be awake. Do you see the correlation? To be lucid, you must know that you are dreaming, so by knowing you are dreaming, you therefore cannot be awake. While you're dreaming (including LDing), the dream world itself does seem real. It isn't until after you wake up that you will realize just how "fake" it was (or hopefully, you can realize that while you're dreaming and become lucid ). So, just don't be afraid of having a LD. If you do become lucid, you'll know that it's only a dream. Plus, you can control what's going on if you believe that you can control it, so even if something bad happens, you can just change it. As long as you don't hold any expectations or assumptions that you can't do something, then you can do it in a dream.

[dreamcatcher81]

The only thing to fear is fear it's self. Have fun with this gift. Namaste

[saltyseedog]

If you are afraid, you must realize that fear is what is controlling you. You must release your fear. You fear doing something stupid in waking life. Let go of your fear and be yourself. do what feels right here now. Thats what I do. In dreams I feel like ripping people to shreds but in my heart it doesn't feel right in waking life. Do what feels right. be yourself. Don't be afraid. Fear is what makes you weak. Be fearless. Be fearless so you can be yourself. Be true to yourself. Have the power to be yourself.

[acnarm]

Remember one thing. You can question reality only when you are dreaming. You can never question reality in the real world. You just know that your not in a dream. Nothing at all to be afraid of.