Often, control doesnt come easily at first. It can take a while before you can gain much control in your dreams. A big part of it is just gaining enough self confidence. If you believe in yourself while dreaming, you can do almost anything. There are numerous things that can help as well, such as voice commands, immagining something around the corner, etc.

As for reality checks, tweak your approach a bit. The fingers-through-the-palm check has a fairly high failure rate, because it depends on something hapenning that shouldn't, and doesn't happen reliably. The nose check, however, I have never known to fail. Another good one is HIGH, or How'd I Get Here? Just ask yourself that, and run through the events and reasons that got you where you are right now.

Good luck!