Firstly i started attempting lucid dreams a week ago, my dream recall went form 0 to about 4 recalls a night. The main reason i think this is because i listen to binaural beats as i fall asleep (my current one has subliminal messages). The most common way of remembering dreams is through a Dream Journal. It is a method were as you wake after your dream you instantly write down your dream or just keywords. once you have a few dreams you should read through them before you go to sleep. If you do not wake up after your dreams normally you can set an alarm clock (which is risky because you don't always know what time you are dreaming. and it could wake you up during a lucid dream). Or you can repeat a sentence to yourself AS you fall asleep like: "I will wake up after my dreams and remember them vividly". Secondly I think it means you are in Third Person if you feel like you are watching your dreams and not in them, i'm not sure how to solve this though. And as for the awareness of performing a Reality Check the idea is to look at your sorroundings and see if anything is out of place, therefore you may cause a habbit in yor dream and you 'should' perform one in your dream (I never have). As for recalling the nightmares i'm not sure how you would do that, but if you do have controlled lucidity during a nightmare you can control the nightmare and have it as you want it.
I hope this helps and good luck!