Hello, and a question regarding fear of sleep paralysis

[empbac]

I saw a thread by a user who said he had never experienced SP, but I wanted to make a new one because my situation is a bit different. I experienced it once when I was younger (10 or 12) and have been terrified of it since. I think this anxiety has really prevented me from being able to lucid dream even well into my twenties. For about two weeks preceding that episode I had been having regular false awakenings every day. I would wake up, get up, eat breakfast, watch some TV, get dressed, brush my teeth, get my books together in my bag, head out the door and start off to school, and then... wake up again. I hated it. After many daily occurrences of this I woke up one morning and was unable to move for something like 5 minutes. I had no idea what was happening, and I'm pretty sure I hallucinated hardcore, though I don't remember of what. All I remember is extreme dread and panic. As soon as I could, I started screaming for my mom (hey, I was a kid, don't make fun of me). I was convinced I had been possessed. So, now, I fidget all the time when I'm in bed, always making sure I can still move, especially when I'm getting ready to try lucid dreaming. Makes for some intolerable insomnia. I haven't had another false awakening since my SP. I'm not afraid of anything physical -- I'm a science guy, I'm no longer religious, I don't believe in monsters or gods or souls, I'm not afraid of the dark, and I know it's all in my head, but I think I'm afraid of becoming panicked due to being unable to move or speak and just can't help myself. I know what it's like to have a bad trip, as I have experimented with psychedelics in the past, and I know that if I start down a dark path at all, it can descend from there very quickly. I'm concerned about how long it will last as well -- I can handle a few seconds, but minutes? Hours? Is there a way to break out of it more quickly? I'm afraid I would be reminded of a particularly bad mushroom trip in which I came very close to literally killing myself. (Set and setting, kids. Don't have weapons and possibly dangerous tools lying around where you're tripping, it's a really bad idea.) I've read that sleeping on your back (the position I normally end up in) makes it more likely and that some methods (WILD?) are more conducive to it. But maybe I just need to bite the bullet and make it happen, so I can get over my fear? I'm dubious that simply knowing what is happening will make it all better, though I've read up on it a bit here and elsewhere. Seeing is believing, so if I see dark hallucinations, that's going to be disturbing even if I 'know' somewhere in my head that it isn't real. Anyone else ever have a similar problem? I would appreciate any advice on the matter, as I've been wanting to lucid dream for several years now.

[Darkmatters]

It's very common - a lot of people are terrified of SP, those who have experienced it and those who have only read about it. I know you said you understand what SP is, but here's a video playlist that explains it all in great detail, in purely scientific terms, and also dispels a lot of the most common fears associated with it (alien visitations etc): You needn't fear being stuck in SP for hours - it can't last more than a couple minutes at most. Also, it might help to realize that you enter SP every time you dream. Actually at that time it's called REM Atonia - it's the complete relaxation of the muscles that occurs while you're dreaming so you can't act out the dreams and hurt yourself. It's only technically called SP when you wake up still under its grip. I think the fact that you've already experienced it literally thousands of times without incident should be comforting - nothing bad has happened yet, right? It only becomes a bad trip if you let yourself ink into fear like a nightmare. As long as you understand exactly what it is and keep a strong attitude about it you'll be fine. That's what dreaming is all about - hell, that's what LIFE is all about, isn't it? There are some scary things, but most are only in your imagination (like SP). Those things can't hurt you unless you allow them to, and even then the hurt is all imaginary. It's nothing more than dream after all.

[empbac]

Thank you for your reply, Darkmatters! I watched that series and I've had some time to think about this, so I think what I need to do is just go for it, actually try to WILD and see if I can have a better experience. I've been trying, but drinking too... which I read doesn't help. So maybe tonight will be different. I've noticed that I have been having dreams, and can recall them a bit after waking up... but I keep forgetting to test whether I'm dreaming while in the dream. I realize after that I could have DILD'd, and slap myself. Been plugging my nose occasionally while awake to get it in my head that I need to do that while dreaming. I didn't think that would be so difficult. I'll update on any success I achieve. Thanks again for the reply, it helps just to hear people say that it shouldn't be scary at all, and that it can be quite normal. Wikipedia didn't make it sound that way. :p

[empbac]

Didn't want to make a new thread for this... I had my first lucid last night! I flew and everything! It's in my DJ. I no longer am afraid of SP... now I try to make it happen because I want to WILD, but it hasn't worked yet. LDing is well worth the risk of a few minutes of discomfort or terror, IMO.

[Psyche]

Congratz on your LD empbac!!!!! I think it is worth it, as well! Just keep working on changing the way you think about sp, eventually you will find it's actually a pretty cool experience!

[Robot_Butler]

Congratulations It becomes much less frightening once you know it can lead to such amazing dreams. I like to think of it as just another type of dream. It can be fascinating.

[empbac]

Thank you, guys! Now I've been trying to enter SP in order to WILD, and though I think I've gotten close I haven't quite gotten it. Ironic. Go figure. :p

[Castles]

I've had extreme anxiety ever since i was a boy. This summer it's reached it's climax and I was put on anti-depressants by my doctor. Indeed anxiety has taken quite a toll on my ability to lucid dream as well as make me have trouble overcoming the fear of lucid dreaming and all of the horrible hallucinations that I can still remember to this day. My suggestion to you is just to keep calm. Remind yourself every night before bed that the dreams are not real. And I don't mean remind by just thinking in your head that they're not real. Believe it with your heart. That's the only way to overcome them. They're not real, and they will never ever hurt you. Not even if you physically see the most horrifying thing imaginable. That's exactly what it is, anyways. imagined. Good luck, stay tough. PM me if you need any further assistance. From one anxiety buddy to another