Hello! To share my experience

[Kelydreamer]

Hello, dreamers! I am new to the forum and to the lucid dream experience. I believe that through the years I have experienced lucid dreaming for brief moments, but not knowing how to maintaining it, I would fall back into unconsciousness. I had read about lucid dream when searching about sleep paralysis, which i suffer from, from time to time, but did not even know we could summon it. Yesterday, during an afternoon nap, I had a brief near-sex lucid dream without trying at all - I did not even know I could. It had been the longest experience in LD ever. So I woke up right before having sex with the guy I had summoned and searched online for more information. I tead a thorough tutorial that explained everything. How to practice WILD, how to maintain lucidity... So at night, before falling asleep, I tried to plant the idea of lucid dreaming into my conscience. It worked! I remember dreaming random stuff until the moment I realized: "wait a moment... I'm dreaming!" So I did a reality check that did not work, but I still knew I was dreaming. I saw a huge painting in front of me and used it as reality check. I ran through it and screamed: I'M DREAMING! DON'T WAKE UP! DON'T WAKE UP! I spinned, Euphoric because I had done it and calmed myself down and asked myself :"so, what do I want to do?" and I asked to see my father, who passed away 7years ago. I saw the planet earth zoom out while I would ascend to the sky, and then said : " wait! I only want to see him if he is in Heaven. If he is in Hell I don't want to." Then the scenery changed without my command to a stairway to Hell with fire coming out. But it wasn't scary. I did not go in, or down... Instead I asked the demon why was my father in hell. And he answered it wasn't hell, it was purgatory. Because of something I had done myself. You see, when I was 18, I got pregnant from a rogue boyfriend. I had a promising future, was a straight A student, about to enter college. After i tried to get an abortion and not succeeding, my parents took me to a clinic. They were devastated, disappointed in me, and I was ashamed, feeling guilty. Anyway, I guess my subconscious was telling me that. Showing my guilt in the form of my father being in pain in the afterdeath for making him go through that in his life. How can I change the outcome of this lucid dream, to get to see my father for real and talk to him? Sweet dreams, everyone.

[Matte87]

Welcome to DV! That is some heavy stuff, everyone makes mistakes though and I'm sure he had long since forgiven you before he passed away. Like I said in a post not long ago, things we fear will happen in dreams often happen. You kinda "fuel" the thoughts by paying attention to them and what you feared would happen actually did. If you know that your fear is responsible for the dream to take the direction it took, you can turn that around and see him without the hell part next time. Believe in your powers, and if you believe in God why not trust in him and know he'll protect you? Asking things out loud might work aswell, so try that. Keep on dreaming!