Thread: 365 days w/o Jerking Off: A self control challenge

Nice Weakamon!

I realized that for me with a previous record of just about 12 days. 365 days might be too optimistic for me.

So what I focus on now is to babystep it all.

By stopping the addiction to porn by doing something useful, and I read a book about sexuality. I have for example started to listen to the audiobook "Sex at Dawn" and started reading David Deidas - Wild Nights. So I still get some kind of stimulation but not enough to want me to fap.

Although I had a little distracting and arousing chat with a girl yesterday with the excuse of "Well she is real and I know her.." so I failed.

But instead of aiming for 365 days I am going to do 7 days, then 14, then 21 etc. So I can get accustomed to it.

December 31-Jan 8: All successful, physically. Not as if there wasn't temptation, though.

I want people to see success, but I also want people to see failures.
Because you get motivated by seeing people reach the top, but you get a realistic and genuine faith by seeing the same people that reach the top fall down and still continue. Because you then see that it's nothing special about them, they are just a normal person like you, and you can accomplish the same things.

My wish is to be an example of such a guy in everything that I do.

This time I was going to meet a girl at her place and I stupidly enough thought that by fapping before, I could get a better performance, this was of course just an excuse and from now on I am going to collect all the excuses my mind want to give me, by just observing them. So that when you feel like your special excuses is valid, you can look at my collection and see that it's not and that I have beaten that excuse.
I will collect these excuses ike they were badges. And earn them by not giving in to the temptation!

I met this girl last Saturday and I haven't fapped since. But for simplicity I start my counting from today.

(And no that doesn't mean that I can fap today) Stupid brain...

I have actually taken this same challenge on another forum as well. I haven't fapped since Dec. 28th and plan on doing it all the way until the end of the year. It really hasn't been hard (pardon the pun). My time has been occupied by plenty of other things. I'm doing this for a few reasons... Most importantly, it gives me more energy (great for workouts). There is no release or outlet of sexual energy so it gets displaced in other areas. Secondly, I'm wanting to approach women and have sex rather than just fap. Sex is good for a lot of things, fapping is just a good time killer and a release. Finally, although it's a good time killer, I'm better served spending that time elsewhere bettering myself in other areas.

But yea good luck gentlemen!

Alright,whatever.Challenge accepted!
My personal record is 5-6 month I guess.I also didn't have sex in that time...I really feel better in that times.If I stick to god and stay faithful I have no problem keeping away from that.Maybe some of you don't believe in god.But I do.Whenever I went to him asking to help me I got his help and done things very easier.But lately I got problems,something questioned my believe in god.I guess god was testing my belief.Hell,I f*cking failed.Finally after dozen of struggles,I proved it to myself...But I guess that short time of questioning and disbelieving god was enough to ruin my faith,darkens my heart and make me far away from god.Since then I tried dozen of times to get back to him and rebuild my faith.But everytime I fail worse than last time.
Alright enough ranting.So count me in.I hope that next time when the temptation to do it comes to me I remember this challenge.Since i don't wanna be dishonest and also don't like to post a failure,it may helps.
Good luck everyone!

Are there any proven physiological benefits as a result of this, or is it mainly a mental/self-discipline exercise?

Originally Posted by starship

Are there any proven physiological benefits as a result of this, or is it mainly a mental/self-discipline exercise?

Yupp!

Scientific Proof:

www.yourbrainonporn.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Empirical Proof:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZeP-Tg243s

Are there negative effects on dream recall and lucid dreaming?
Been no-fapping since the end of December, but my recall went really bad and haven't had a lucid in more then a week and the last lucids were very short.
Tonight I said to myself, if I don't have a lucid dream, I will fap in the morning, so I did.
If my recall and lucid dreams are coming back, no-fap is not for me.

Originally Posted by MasterMind

Yupp!

Scientific Proof:

Your Brain On Porn | Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Empirical Proof:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZeP-Tg243s

I can counter with science too:

https://whereischico.wordpress.com/2...myth-debunked/ - There's no such thing, per se, as sex addiction. There just isn't enough peer review information on it to even be included in the DSM, so no one really gets diagnosed with it; Sexual addiction - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Here's a debunking of that TedX taught (keeping in mind, TED and TEDx Talks are subtly screened): Sex Supplement: UBC researcher doubts "Great Porn Experiment" hypothesis

Here's an article promoting sex: PLOS ONE: Sexual Experience Promotes Adult Neurogenesis in the Hippocampus Despite an Initial Elevation in Stress Hormones

Finally, a good forum discourse on it: Porn Rewires the Brain : Psychology & Neuroscience • Rational Skepticism Forum

In short, this is just using A LOT of junk science to promote something they happen to believe in. As they mention on RationalSkeptic, a lot of things "rewire" your brain.

This is simply an exercise in self control. Nothing more, nothing less. Personally, I have masturbated since as long as I can remember, easily single digits, with few, if any breaks in there. I've been looking at porn since I was able. I have maintained a healthy relationship with my wife and other women, I have had zero issues sexually, and I am very well adjusted. Demonizing it the way noFap does is just a bit silly.

Well just as for everything else in my life I trust my own personal experience. The links I provided might be wrong to be named as proof. I simply tried to encourage people in this thread with a little motivation.

So sorry if I named it proof.

My reason for this challenge is to simply think "does it help me?" Yes.

Then I use "pseudo-science" or whatever to get motivated.

Although I read your links and they sure were interesting but there is one thing that you probably are missing.

You are saying: "I have maintained a healthy relationship with my wife and other women."

Well there is the problem for most people. Those with a porn addiction if they are single for a long time and are not in the presence of other women sexually, their minds gets messed up by stimuli addiction, everything from porn to league of legends to TV.

Unfortunately this is based on personal experience..

Now I have a couple of girlfriends and all I can say is that I did notice the effects of my porn use from my past that the TED talk talks about.

However when I go for the no fap, it's all solved.

But then again that is just a bonus, I do the no fap because I have found that it gives me the drive to accomplish higher goals easier.

Wake up early as h*ll, go to the gym, approach women because they all look like godesses, focus on my job, read books, be more present, have the energy later in the day, feel less tired, easier to draw state internally, better sex, energy to meditate and will power to practise lucid dreaming in the evening and night. REPEAT.

Placebo, pseudoscience. I do not not care, as long as it works.

The problem I have is the question was:

Originally Posted by starship

Are there any proven physiological benefits as a result of this, or is it mainly a mental/self-discipline exercise?

And the answer is no. Anecdotal evidence says, sorta, but not really either.

Originally Posted by MasterMind

Well there is the problem for most people. Those with a porn addiction if they are single for a long time and are not in the presence of other women sexually, their minds gets messed up by stimuli addiction, everything from porn to league of legends to TV.

And again, reading my articles, that isn't the case at all. In psychology, addiction has a specific criteria. One being that it has to diminish the returns because otherwise it is the most perfect addiction where Dose 00001 is the same as Dose 10,000. Instead, it is a compulsion, and compulsion cessation requires a whole different methodology than just abstinence.

If you have difficulty talking to the preferred sexual mate, then that is an issue that is multifaceted and requires a deep dive. Giving credit to not indulging in masturbation is a dangerous gambit because while the placebo effect works, what happens when it stops? Eventually, those barriers will still exist since the issue isn't the act; it's the compulsion.

That a great post Tiresias. Compulsion is actually what it is. The return of masturbating to porn is always the same... it's continually good. One doesn't start off doing it once and then have to do it 10 times to reach the same effect. I have zero issues with addiction, but many issues with compulsion. I compulsively do the same things all the time... and one of those things was fapping to porn. My compulsion is still exactly the same just redirected into playing video games and on working out... 2 things I have compulsively done for 10 plus years (also Lucid dreaming as of late). If I'm not doing something compulsively, I don't know what to do So yea I guess other than some self control... there really is no reason for me to be doing this no fap thing. I need to get the compulsive/habitual behavior thing under control so that I can find some new compulsive behaviors to freshen things up haha.

Originally Posted by robertcox88

That a great post Tiresias. Compulsion is actually what it is. The return of masturbating to porn is always the same... it's continually good. One doesn't start off doing it once and then have to do it 10 times to reach the same effect. I have zero issues with addiction, but many issues with compulsion. I compulsively do the same things all the time... and one of those things was fapping to porn. My compulsion is still exactly the same just redirected into playing video games and on working out... 2 things I have compulsively done for 10 plus years (also Lucid dreaming as of late). If I'm not doing something compulsively, I don't know what to do So yea I guess other than some self control... there really is no reason for me to be doing this no fap thing. I need to get the compulsive/habitual behavior thing under control so that I can find some new compulsive behaviors to freshen things up haha.

The problem is basically what you just said here:

My compulsion is still exactly the same just redirected into playing video games and on working out... 2 things I have compulsively done for 10 plus years (also Lucid dreaming as of late).

Which is awesome and great. I am glad you are doing productive and fun things to fill your time and focus your compulsion. BUT what happens when you find a new foci that isn't beneficial? Addiction can be physical such as with certain drugs and alcohol. When you cross an addictive substance with a compulsive personality, you have the recipe for disaster.

There are various forms of treatment for managing compulsive disorder, and I think anyone who seriously sees "noFap" as a difficult challenge as the target audience for this. Mental disorders are not black and white; they are a large scale of issues. Maybe you are 1% or 30% whatever. But switching foci won't help in the absolute long run since it will stay with you.

Good luck!

You are probably right Tiresias.

But then again as long as it helps me I will keep doing the no fap.

It can atleast be seen as a practise of self-control in itself and will power.

And being comfortable being uncomfortable.

So thanks for all your input, but I will continue my journey and all you just said is again probably right, but for me this will go into my excuse box.

Day 5!

(Placebo) Effects so far: I function better on low sleep and I wake up earlier to go to the gym and I easily get out of bed, no more snoozing! My voice is deeper and louder and I am not socially awkward. My eyecontact with girls is like lazer and one girl even complimented me for just my strong eyecontact. I no longer struggle or think twice to approach girls that I see it just happens and it feels as natural as approaching a friend, this is because of lots of approaches before of course, but the no fap erase my whiny thoughts.
I feel much more present of the moment and the world seem more vivid to me.
I no longer fall asleep during my meditation and I am generally more alert during the day. <- 5 DAYS!

I am going to allow myself to have sex with girls I meet out, I am not celibate .
So in that sense I will hopefully never finish the 90 days no PMO.
But I will strive to finish the standard no fap challenge of (no edging, masturbation or porn)!

And to those who are fapstronauts here is a really nice aid kit to support you on your journey:

http://emergency.nofap.com

Cya!

Jan 9 to Jan 15 - In the waking world, I didn't. Jan 10 and Jan 15 had wake-ups from dreaming which resulted in "MUST CHANGE GARMENTS" and I recall dreaming of it on the latter (and perhaps the earlier) occasion, though.

I know I can change habits in-dreams, I've noticed it happening before. So I like the idea of not dreaming of, well, "that".

You know the old saying "Masturbation will cause blindness"? I don't think it's meant quite literally and I have been wondering how it's meant.

After 20 days no fap, the last 2 nights my dreams have involved the opposite sex (in a sexual way). 2 nights ago I had a sex dream with a DC who I likened to Kelly Brook (which was great), and last night my crush from High School invaded my dreams and I couldn't stop thinking about her in a sexual way in the dream. Normally my dreams are random and don't have many sexual undertones, but the last couple days have been far more uncomfortable for me emotionally speaking. I am becoming depressed in a way because I am not doing anything to increase my chances of releasing via female contact. The energy spikes I felt during the first 10-15 days of no fap have suddenly disappeared and now my body is tired... and I feel it is directly related to not doing anything... and even that could just be totally mental and not true. It's just crazy how thoughts of sex and releasing are so encompassing especially when other aspects of life are not so demanding. I wouldn't say they any more frequent than normal, but they are just more draining than normal. I guess for most guys they are motivating, but for me I hate to think that my hormones can have such an effect on my thoughts, energy level, and potential actions... but alas they really have a strong say in the matter lol

A short cartoon to remind you guys to the stay on track.

Shit.I failed.I was planning to post my first week success on Tuesday.So bad that it didn't happen so.My self control s*cks.Doesn't matter anyway.I'm trying again.I hope I make it through the first week at least this time.
Damn,it's so shameful to post this failure so soon...

Originally Posted by Ramin2097

Shit.I failed.I was planning to post my first week success on Tuesday.So bad that it didn't happen so.My self control s*cks.Doesn't matter anyway.I'm trying again.I hope I make it through the first week at least this time.
Damn,it's so shameful to post this failure so soon...

fmd3_Lk1.jpg

Oh lord this thread is still going!!! Has weakamon made any recent attempts? . I've gained more interest in lucid dreaming again lately. I know I've said this and not followed through but I'm back!! And I may just attempt this challenge!

Originally Posted by MasterMind

fmd3_Lk1.jpg

Indeed,that's true.But I did this for a long time.However back then the idea of doing it didn't come to me at all so I bother myself by fighting it.What I'm experiencing now is different.It comes to me so I have to fight it,and damn on me if I give up cuz of my failed attempts...

I have just finished my first week and so far it has been no PMO.

On one hand I could say that all is just placebo and that I could be successful without any of this, but I am not in this to prove anything, I am in this to see what happens.

It's a fun little mind game. Difficult as F*CK I can just show you the pile of thoughts and excuses I have had to avoid:

I need a release in order to work. NO!

Since fapping probably doesn't directly affect my work and
productivity it is ok to do it. NO!

I need to fap in order to sleep. NO!

Ok since I haven't come that far in the journey 1-3 days is
easy to do again. NO!

I can look at NSFW 9gag it wont hurt. NO!

No fap might be bad for me so I might as well fap. NO!

It's good to fap to feel bad again to reinforce the negative
motivation to why it is bad. NO!

Rationalskepticists have proven that FAPPING is Healthy.
NO!

I just have to it's so uncomfortable. NO!

A relapse isn't the end of the world so you can fap once it
doesn't really matter. NO!

And now I am on day 7 and I plan on continue to do this and see where it takes me.

So far I am trusting the idea of seeing your journey as the headlights of a car, you don't need to see the entire road, just look at what's in front of you and see where it leads you.

A mindset that is really important is to not see yourself as a victim and stop seeing negative things as something that is happening to you, because it is this feeling of being out of control that makes you uncomfortable. Instead take the control back by being self-responsible and think that everything happens FOR you.
For example when you get an urge to fap or to look at NSFW material, instead of thinking "AHH why is this happening, I hate my brain! How do I stop these urges?!"
think "Ok this is another oppurtunity to rewire my brain. Feeling this pain is what makes me change. Bring it on!"

Change is never pleasant! That is what stops most people. People think that they can find pain-free methods of changing themselves.
To make this idea of pain and change clearer. Think of yourself as a caterpillar, you start out as a weird thing that crawls on the ground and then you go through a long painful transformation but in the end you have changed and you have wings and can fly and sh*t. xD

So in other words, it's arguably not the no fap in itself that makes you change. It's just the practise of self-discipline of not giving in to your thinking mind and your ability of being comfortable being uncomfortable and seeing pain as something positive! It's a mental attitude!

Although is that a reason to fap? NO!

Also keep in mind that no one is cut from a different cloth. I can now walk up to a girl in the night club and just reach out my arm and know how to get in a mindstate that makes her attracted to me. Like 00:07 in this video of Tyler: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRK8eiS_f_g
(Looks easy huh? Well do it then )
But what did it take for me to become like that? Well for starters I have gone out ALOT of nights just feeling the pain of not being able to approach at all! I have approached girls and got rejected because I had a creepy behavior and I have learned the process what makes me feel like a baws and then how to transfer this feeling of awesomeness to the girl. And well I wrote this cool seduction ego story just to make my process of no fap a little less embarrassing to share.
Now I haven't fapped for 7 days and I haven't watched any NSFW material AT ALL. But what did I do in order to accomplish this?

Well.. Let's just say that I have experienced the negative effects of fapping multiple times...

But my point is PAIN is what changes you! So when you feel the pain of the urge to fap, learn to ENJOY the pain. Because that ability is what will make you elevate in other areas of your life as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-mC8qr03B8

Stay strong and good luck!

I really don't like the tone of that last post as it touches on so many compulsive tendencies that I believe you really should talk to a therapist or something to get it under control. Just ignoring it works, but you are changing the foci constantly rather than addressing the issue.

Originally Posted by MasterMind

But what did it take for me to become like that? Well for starters I have gone out ALOT of nights just feeling the pain of not being able to approach at all! I have approached girls and got rejected because I had a creepy behavior and I have learned the process what makes me feel like a baws and then how to transfer this feeling of awesomeness to the girl.

This is borderline PUA bullshit which is silly. The trick to attracting a person you are into is talking to them like people. Ask them questions, listen to what they say, ask more questions or find commonality. The fourth word in that is the most important though - "listen." All the tricks in the world of how to get women fail if you do not listen to what they have to say.

Once you do that, people tend to like to associate with you more. I say this as a person who was quite fat growing up and while I didn't have a laundry list of girlfriends, I always had people coming to me for advice or someone to talk to or being happy when I showed up and sad when I didn't. That's a far better milestone for me.

Originally Posted by Tiresias

This is borderline PUA bullshit which is silly. The trick to attracting a person you are into is talking to them like people. Ask them questions, listen to what they say, ask more questions or find commonality. The fourth word in that is the most important though - "listen." All the tricks in the world of how to get women fail if you do not listen to what they have to say.

Once you do that, people tend to like to associate with you more. I say this as a person who was quite fat growing up and while I didn't have a laundry list of girlfriends, I always had people coming to me for advice or someone to talk to or being happy when I showed up and sad when I didn't. That's a far better milestone for me.

I hope I am not getting too off-topic now, but I will have to agree about this.
I have never really liked the manipulative nature of PUA strategies etc, it seems like they think of girls more as "targets" than as individuals.
At least from my experience, most girls seem to love when a guy has a playful and independent personality, and thinks of pretty girls as one of many delights in life - but not to the point that it becomes something "extremely important" or whatever.

Flirting with girls should be done in a spontaneous and carefree way that makes them laugh and feel attractive at the same time.
But it shouldn't be something that is done intentionally, but instead something that "just happens" simply because the guy happens to have that personality.
And you can only have a personality like that if you are content with life in general and don't think of girls as such a big deal.

Also, sometimes it is pretty easy to tell if a guy has "that certain extra" in him - like Jeff Goldblum for example, I have major problems picturing him as the classic "bitter nice guy", he seems too confident and laidback for that, and I am sure he is just as sweet and charming to girls in real life as he is to the character Ellie Sattler in the movie Jurassic Park.

Another trait that confident guys always have is that they actually respect even their rivals.
They don't go like "that sucker don't deserve her, yo!", but instead they think "oh well, this guy got her and connected the best with her, I will have to respect that then", and that's it.