Was this girl interested in me?

**Laurelindo** · 03-30-2014 03:24 PM

First of all I should point out that this is really a pretty pointless thing to wonder about, because it happened almost 15 years ago, and it really isn't anything that I'm brooding over to any extent - but I still sometimes feel curious and wonder about it.
Anyway, in junior high school, when I was 14, there was a girl in my class that I was slightly interested in, and we were constantly arguing with each other in a half-serious, half-playful way, and we both had quite a temperament and liked to provoke each other and stuff.
Then one day, all of a sudden one of her friends would come up and tell me that this girl was interested in me, and she herself was kind of hiding away in a corner of the classroom.
I never talked to her, since I was really uncertain how to handle the situation, and a few days later she would start giving me small notes where she asked me if I wanted to be together with her or not, and one of her friends would keep telling me that she was apparently interested.
And since we were both apparently really shy, I would write notes back to her as well and tell her that I wasn't sure how to respond, and at that point she wrote something like "well don't bother, then!".
From that day, she seemed really mad at me and didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me, and on one occasion, a few minutes before a class would begin, she even wrote on the whiteboard that she hated - someone - and drew a number of asterisks, which perfectly matched the numbers of letters in my first and last name.
And when I tried to verbally talk to her at school she would just go away, and when I wrote to her via hotmail she would be like "it was a joke, anyone would realize that, dammit! Have a nice day, goodbye!" and so on.

Yeah I know, this really isn't worth contemplating any longer, but I can't help feeling a little bit curious every now and then - was she interested in me for real, or was she just messing with me?
What are your impressions?

**Hebdomeros** · 03-30-2014 05:55 PM

It seems pretty obvious.

Which part is confusing?

**Laurelindo** · 03-30-2014 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by Hebdomeros

It seems pretty obvious.

Which part is confusing?

Well basically, I feel a little confused that she was sending such ambiguous signals.
For some time she seemed like she would be genuinely interested, and then suddenly she did all she could to deny it.
Of course this was so long ago that it shouldn't really matter, but I can still sometimes wonder a little about it, and although it is certainly not an "important" issue by any means it would still be fun to hear your opinions and what you would make out of it.

**StephL** · 03-30-2014 06:17 PM

Sorry - but what the blooming heck is ambiguous in what she did - she actually threw herself at you, if she really was supposedly shy - that was quite some heroic effort - and you signalled not to be interested.
So then she was embarrassed and ashamed of that she didn't realize, it was only her - what else should she have concluded.
Reading how mad she was at you - I very much believe, you've been ambiguous in a way, which she deemed stringing her out and playing with her emotions.
If you ever were in love with her - even a bit - you f***ed up big time. Sorry to say..

**Laurelindo** · 03-30-2014 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by StephL

Sorry - but what the blooming heck is ambiguous in what she did - she actually threw herself at you, if she really was supposedly shy - that was quite some heroic effort - and you signalled not to be interested.
So then she was embarrassed and ashamed of that she didn't realize, it was only her - what else should she have concluded.
Reading how mad she was at you - I very much believe, you've been ambiguous in a way, which she deemed stringing her out and playing with her emotions.
If you ever were in love with her - even a bit - you f***ed up big time. Sorry to say..

Well yeah, I am aware of that, but one reason why I reacted that way was because I didn't quite trust her, because we were arguing a lot and I almost felt like this was just a prank of some sort, where I was supposed to answer yes and then they would tell me it was all a joke - and this seemed true when she even called it a joke herself afterwards, and I kind of left it at that.
I didn't mean to hurt her feelings in any way though, I just didn't feel comfortable that she was serious and wanted some stronger proof that she was interested for real, but then she started distancing herself from me and I didn't feel like caring anymore at that point.

**Hebdomeros** · 03-30-2014 07:12 PM

Originally Posted by Laurelindo

Well yeah, I am aware of that, but one reason why I reacted that way was because I didn't quite trust her, because we were arguing a lot and I almost felt like this was just a prank of some sort, where I was supposed to answer yes and then they would tell me it was all a joke - .

Honestly that could have been true too, but I think you wounded her feminine ego when you said you weren't sure how to respond . Literally EVERY girl has ideas of how this (a relationship) should go down and if it doesn't happen they get weirded out or disheartened, she was interested in you but the feelings only go as far as the relationship so it all sounds like frivolity a fun memory nonetheless.

You guys can make fun of me for this but I had something similar happen and as I look back onto it I really screwed up. I used to go to a christian church and I really liked this new girl because she was PRETTY, and I used to do this thing with girls where I'd just try and make eye contact with them and catch their interest but then never actually do anything. Well I eventually become friends with her and so we all went to this giant christian even in a STADIUM.
before the event we stayed at one of the girls houses with her parents (our chaperone) the girls slept upstairs and the guys downstairs but there were three different situations I think I screwed up in.

One) We used to touch each other all the time (really this is bad) we were laying on each other (this is all kid-friendly everyone was there with us lol) and I laid MY head on her lap because I think she said "put your head on my lap" (really she could have asked me to do anything at that age)

Two) The girls were in the back of the van the guys in the middle they were like "can we braid your hair" "yeah" (I love it when girls put their hands through my hair) I remember now that I slumped down because I was AFRAID they'd see my acne. they were complimenting my hair. "you're hairs so soft, etc"

Three) The girl asks me to pick her up, and I say NO, because I thought I couldn't (I had lost an arm-wrestling contest earlier) and later she didn't hate me, and I think she STILL liked me but I did not deserve it. but even if she liked me I never capitalized on anything.