Ive had to deal with a lot of deaths in my fifteen years of life, the worst being the death of my mother when I was three. Be glad you were able to say goodbye because a death without closure is a lot worse.

Lucid dreaming is a great way of getting away from your thoughts and obligations so it may seem tempting at a time like this. But with the amount of stress and grief on your mind right now I think it would be best to take a break from lding. With your current mindset your not going to be successful and any failure to ld is only going to frustrate you.

Im sorry for your loss.