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Thread: Drapery Rods
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03-07-2008 05:57 PM #1* DV Veteran * Achievements:
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Drapery Rods
This is priceless!!
DRAPERY RODS.
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring water .
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked!!!
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.
He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.
And to spite the ex-wife.. they even took the the curtain rods!!!!!!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
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03-07-2008 06:03 PM #2"O" will suffice. Achievements:
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Dream Journal: Dreamwalker Chronicles Latest Entry: 01/02/2016 - "Hallway to Haven" (Lucid)(Or see the very best of my journal entries @ dreamwalkerchronicles.blogspot)
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03-07-2008 06:06 PM #3Back by Unpopular Demand
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Indeed, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Originally Posted by Oneironaut
...women.
Still pretty funny
NeAvO's Nightly JourneysAdopted: Hazel AngelGirl ShadowsandTerrorhawker
Courtesy of GoldneyShoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars. Originally Posted by Vex Kitten
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03-07-2008 06:08 PM #4Legend
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Wow. Hell hath no fury...
Edit: Damnit you beat me to that line Neavo!!
Things are not as they seem
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03-07-2008 06:10 PM #5Back by Unpopular Demand
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Haha I was actually going to say "look up" But when I clicked reply I saw your edit Originally Posted by Jeff777
Wow. Hell hath no fury...
Edit: Damnit you beat me to that line Neavo!!
Still too slow man
NeAvO's Nightly JourneysAdopted: Hazel AngelGirl ShadowsandTerrorhawkerCourtesy of GoldneyShoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars. Originally Posted by Vex Kitten
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03-07-2008 06:54 PM #6
I can't honestly believe that they were unable to find the source of the smell.
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03-07-2008 06:59 PM #7
I want to believe that they couldn't find the source of the smell. Who would think to look in the curtain rods??
I love it. I'm remembering this one.
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03-07-2008 07:01 PM #8Back by Unpopular Demand
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You realise this is most likely a made up story for fun? Originally Posted by Aquanina
I can't honestly believe that they were unable to find the source of the smell.
/captain obvious
NeAvO's Nightly JourneysAdopted: Hazel AngelGirl ShadowsandTerrorhawkerCourtesy of GoldneyShoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars. Originally Posted by Vex Kitten
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03-07-2008 07:03 PM #9Don't ruin the fantasy!!! Originally Posted by NeAvO
You realise this is most likely a made up story for fun?
/captain obvious
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03-07-2008 07:08 PM #10* DV Veteran * Achievements:
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LOL!! I like to think it could have happened too! Originally Posted by kichu
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03-07-2008 07:27 PM #11Haha. Hehe. Achievements:
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HOLY CRAP hahahaha that's brilliant!!
I am sooooo going to do this to anyone who wrongs me. I love caviar, too, mwaaahahahahahhaha. 
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03-07-2008 07:39 PM #12Member Achievements:
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Sorry if I disappoint anyone, but I first heard this story about 30 years ago. Over the subsequent years, I've seen it reappear in various formats - "Shrimp in curtain rods", "prawns in stair rods", "pint of milk under the carpet" etc etc. Now I'm not saying that it has never happened, it probably has.. but it is practically an urban myth by now.
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03-07-2008 08:03 PM #13* DV Veteran * Achievements:
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Maybe.. but it's still funny! Originally Posted by Oneiro
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03-07-2008 08:08 PM #14Back by Unpopular Demand
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How can you fit a pint of milk under the carpit?
NeAvO's Nightly JourneysAdopted: Hazel AngelGirl ShadowsandTerrorhawkerCourtesy of GoldneyShoot for the moon, even if you miss it you will land among the stars. Originally Posted by Vex Kitten
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03-07-2008 08:10 PM #15Member Achievements:
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Lol! You're soooooooo funny Neavo.. Originally Posted by NeAvO
How can you fit a pint of milk under the carpet?
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03-07-2008 08:12 PM #16Member Achievements:
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Which reminds me..
Q: What do male elephants and milk bottles have in common?
A: They both come in pints.
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03-07-2008 09:45 PM #17
It's not funny to me.
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03-07-2008 11:19 PM #18Ad absurdum Achievements:
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Were you once on the receiving end? Originally Posted by Aquanina
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03-07-2008 11:42 PM #19ıpǝɾǝɔɹnos
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I thought it was funny... but I'm set up to read threads in reverse order, so I heard captain obvious' point first. If I'd read it as a true story, the awesomeness of the punchline wouldn't make up for the horror of it all.
There's a nice Usenet post that says the definition of science fiction (which is technically difficult to separate from fantasy) is a story that _is best read as science fiction_. By that definition, this is definitely an urban myth :-).You know you want to disable signatures (and images and avatars).
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03-08-2008 12:00 AM #20No, I just don't like stories that seem so contrived. Originally Posted by Spartiate
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