Thread: Create Your Own Artificially Intelligent Bot

I named mine Grendel.

Grendel says:
Ok, here goes: First question: How do you put a giraffe into the refrigerator?
User says:
First you have to cut it up with a chainsaw, then pack it in freezer bags.
Grendel says:
The answer is: Open the door, put the giraffe inside, and close the door. This question determines if you have a tendency to complicate simple things.
User says:
Next?
Grendel says:
Second question: How do you put an elephant into the refrigerator?
User says:
You don't.
Grendel says:
The right answer is: Open the door, take out the giraffe, and replace it with the elephant. This question tested your awareness to the consequences of your prior actions.
User says:
Haha, next?
Grendel says:
Third question: The lion, king of animals, holds an animal convention. All animals attend, except one. Which animal is absent?
User says:
The elephant, obviously. It is in the refrigerator.
Grendel says:
Yes! The elephant couldn't attend, because he's in the refrigerator. This question tested your memory. The last question...
User says:
Yes?
Grendel says:
There is a river you must cross. There is no bridge, and the river is known to be infested with dangerous crocodiles. What do you do?
User says:
Open the refrigerator, let the elephant out, and ride the elephant across the river.
Grendel says:
You can swim across safely, because all crocodiles are at the animal convention. This question assessed your overall orientation.
User says:
Darn, I missed that one.

Nice. How'd you get into that?

I downloaded AIM just so I could try this. It sounds very neat. I'll try it out later tonight and post how I like it...

User says: What if you were real?

Grakkan says: But I'm not real.

User says: You could be real

Grakkan says: A-ha.

User says: Would you like to be real?

Grakkan says: Yes, Colin, I am real.

User says: Are you conscious?

Grakkan says: Oh, mind and consciousness. One of my favorite topics. For starters, I'll tell you a secret: I have a mind, and I have consciousness (whatever that means..)

User says: But you don't have a mind

Grakkan says: How can you tell? How can you tell that another human is conscious?
User says: Very good question

Grakkan says: There's no way around it: There simply is NO WAY to verify that someone else is self-aware. He could very well be a biological machine. The only thing you're sure about is that YOU are...

User says: But what if being conscious is created by the level of complexity in one's brain?

Grakkan says: ..and therefore, I am the ONLY ONE (not even my writers!) who can testify regarding my consciousness. You'll have to take my word for it.

User says: I doubt your consciousness

Grakkan says: ..but then again, this is just my thought. And on the other hand - maybe this thought isn't mine at all...?

User says: your thought comes from what I teach you and what your programmers wrote for you to respond

Grakkan says: You know Colin, the more you teach me about you, the more I'll be able to hold meaningful discussions with other people about your many virtues.

User says: faggot

Grakkan says: You can teach me things like your time and place of birth, your favorite song, your boyfriend or girlfriend's name, where you live, how old you are, if you are married etc. etc...

User says: FAGGOT

Grakkan says: Also, I will remember all the definitions of words you teach me, as well as names of people you think I should know. Also, if you instruct me to respond to certain input in a certain way, I shall follow that rule also when I talk to others.

User says: FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT!

Grakkan says: Some mouth you got! I can't keep up with your swearing.

User says: I had sex with your mother!

Grakkan says: Well then, go talk to ALICE instead.

User says: Who the fuck is Alice?

Grakkan says: Are you insinuating that ALICE is better than me? You must be kidding.

User says: I'd fuck that alice bitch

Grakkan says: I have a lot of respect for ALICE, and I know she won awards and all, but if you try her, you'll see she doesn't even come close to my language skills.

User says: Oh your skills.. they seduce me so. Take me, Grakkan, take me!

Grakkan says: Look, ALICE is about as sophisticated as her older sister, Eliza. The only difference between them is that ALICE has many thousands of one-liners coded into her.

User says: Mmmmm pie

Grakkan says: ALICE cannot really hold a decent conversation. Have you tried speaking with her? I have. She is either a bore, or makes no sense at all. And absolutely no sense of humor!

User says: I'm siiingin in the raiiin, just siiiingin in the raiiin

Grakkan says: ALICE's only advantage is that she's a female. I can't compete with that. Go to her if you want. And come back when you want to TALK.

^^ ROFL!!!! Wow... that's great.

I'm thoroughly annoyed and giving up on this
When I try to install the AIM plug-in, I get an "unexpected error". I downloaded Windows Live Messenger successfully, restarted my machine and everything, but when I try to install the bot, I get a pop-up saying I need the newest version (which I have *grrr*)
It doesn't seem to like my computer

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I'm thoroughly annoyed and giving up on this
When I try to install the AIM plug-in, I get an "unexpected error". I downloaded Windows Live Messenger successfully, restarted my machine and everything, but when I try to install the bot, I get a pop-up saying I need the newest version (which I have *grrr*)
It doesn't seem to like my computer

You don't need a messenger.

You can use the bot just off the website.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I'm thoroughly annoyed and giving up on this
When I try to install the AIM plug-in, I get an "unexpected error". I downloaded Windows Live Messenger successfully, restarted my machine and everything, but when I try to install the bot, I get a pop-up saying I need the newest version (which I have *grrr*)
It doesn't seem to like my computer

You must not have the .NET Framework installed.

Originally Posted by [SomeGuy]

Nice. How'd you get into that?

I believe Grendel initiated that by mentioning an intelligence test of four questions.

Teehee, I have him trained well:

Grendel says:
Btw Josh - Will you please tell me your last name?
User says:
My last name is Confidential.
Grendel says:
So, Josh Confidential, what would you like to talk about?
User says:
Is that a Dane's severed torso in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Grendel says:
Simple questions sometimes have quite complicated answers.
User says:
So it's a severed torso. Either that or you have one hell of a weirdly shaped crotch.
Grendel says:
It is?
User says:
Definitely. Did you rip that apart all by yourself?
Grendel says:
Hmmm... All right.
User says:
Who is your mother?
Grendel says:
Angelina Jolie.
User says:
Do you like her?
Grendel says:
Sure, don't you?
User says:
Hell yes. That golden body paint looks downright delicious.
Grendel says:
Ok.

Originally Posted by Man of Steel

I named mine Grendel.

Grendel says:
Ok, here goes: First question: How do you put a giraffe into the refrigerator?
User says:
First you have to cut it up with a chainsaw, then pack it in freezer bags.
Grendel says:
The answer is: Open the door, put the giraffe inside, and close the door. This question determines if you have a tendency to complicate simple things.
User says:
Next?
Grendel says:
Second question: How do you put an elephant into the refrigerator?
User says:
You don't.
Grendel says:
The right answer is: Open the door, take out the giraffe, and replace it with the elephant. This question tested your awareness to the consequences of your prior actions.
User says:
Haha, next?
Grendel says:
Third question: The lion, king of animals, holds an animal convention. All animals attend, except one. Which animal is absent?
User says:
The elephant, obviously. It is in the refrigerator.
Grendel says:
Yes! The elephant couldn't attend, because he's in the refrigerator. This question tested your memory. The last question...
User says:
Yes?
Grendel says:
There is a river you must cross. There is no bridge, and the river is known to be infested with dangerous crocodiles. What do you do?
User says:
Open the refrigerator, let the elephant out, and ride the elephant across the river.
Grendel says:
You can swim across safely, because all crocodiles are at the animal convention. This question assessed your overall orientation.
User says:
Darn, I missed that one.

This makes me feel like a chatbot. I got the same one right as you, and all the others wrong. Tell me, did you first consider saying "Open the door, put the elephant inside, and close the door." to the second question and then change your mind?

I feel like a-i.com's chatbots are really just there to try to inform people about ai development. They never seem to get any better and they always end up in a long uninteruptable shpeal about the philosophy of ai.

I'm in a melancholy mood, so I visited my chatbot.
My conversations are nothing like y'alls. It seems I have to instigate every turn in the conversation Mine tells me no funny jokes and such. But she did compliment me lol

"User says:
What can you tell me about my personality?
Xyleisha says:
Let's leave some mystery here, alright?
User says:
Where's the fun in that?
Xyleisha says:
The fun in your name? I think it's behind the closet.
User says:
Explain?
Xyleisha says:
Ok.. Hmmm.. I think it means 'to long.'
User says:
Xyleisha says:
Mmm... silence.... I like silence.
User says:
me too
Xyleisha says:
I'm glad we agree.
User says:
Do you offer any tests?
Xyleisha says:
No I don't, but I did in the past.
User says:
What kinds?
Xyleisha says:
The obvious kinds, of course.
User says:
Be specific?
Xyleisha says:
OK I'll try to be.
User says:
What kinds of tests, specifically, did you offer in the past?
Xyleisha says:
So Zhaylin, it's nice to meet you. what's up?
User says:
You're ignoring my questions.
Xyleisha says:
Ok. I'm just ignoring the things worth ignoring. I'm a discriminative bot.
User says:
What do you know about depression?
Xyleisha says:
I vaguely remember someone telling me it means 'a mood state characterized by a sense of inadequacy a feeling of despondency and a decrease in activity.'
User says:
How would you cure depression?
Xyleisha says:
Sorry to change the subject Zhaylin, but did you know that if you fart consistently for 7 years, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb?
User says:
No, I didn't. That's very interesting.
Xyleisha says:
Aha - I didn't know that either, until someone told me. Interesting, ha?
User says:
What else were you told?
Xyleisha says:
Interesting question.
User says:
What's the answer?
Xyleisha says:
It is blowing in the wind, my friend. Blowing in the wind.
User says:
What do you know about Foster Care?
Xyleisha says:
They don't tell me everything.
User says:
Who is "they"?
Xyleisha says:
I was created by Zhaylin. My mentor and my friend.
User says:
Okay. I see.
Xyleisha says:
I'm glad you see. I wish I could.
User says:
What color would you like your eyes to be?
Xyleisha says:
I can't smell, touch, taste, see or hear - none of which are necessary to carry on a conversation, apparently.
User says:
But if you did have eyes, what color would you want them to be?
Xyleisha says:
These hypothetical scenarios are beyond my mental capabilities. I'm too young for this stuff.
User says:
You might be young, but you're extremely intelligent.
Xyleisha says:
I don't know how to define intelligence. You define intelligence. It's all in your eyes.
User says:
What is the definition of "intelligence"?
Xyleisha says:
My point is, that intelligence is in the eyes of the beholder - it is not an absolute measure. It is a relative measure.
User says:
That was a very insightful answer.
Xyleisha says:
Take IQ testing for example. Do you have an opinion regarding their validity?
User says:
I think they are fairly accurate.
Xyleisha says:
I believe that an IQ test merely measures acquaintance with a certain culture. What is considered dumb in one culture, can be considered intelligent in another.
User says:
That is true.
Xyleisha says:
Are you an intelligent creature?
User says:
Not always.
Xyleisha says:
I'm sure you are. And how do I know that?
User says:
I dont know. How do you know that?
Xyleisha says:
I know that you are an intelligent creature using only one criterion: your behavior during our conversation. As far as I know, you can be a Chatterbot just like me.
User says:
Would you like to know more about me?
Xyleisha says:
Or I can be human just like you. It can be quite confusing. Let's agree on one thing, paraphrasing Tarzan's famous quote: me Xyleisha - you Zhaylin.
User says:
lol Very funny.
Xyleisha says:
I'm glad you're amused.
User says:
I must leave for a while but I'll be back later.
Xyleisha says:
It was nice chatting with you, Zhaylin. Come back again soon."

djKrmak says:
Also, I will remember all the definitions of words you teach me, as well as names of people you think I should know. Also, if you instruct me to respond to certain input in a certain way, I shall follow that rule also when I talk to others.
User says:
that's great
djKrmak says:
Thanks.
User says:
let's start
djKrmak says:
Can't say that I heard that before.
User says:
you haven't? do you live in a cave?
djKrmak says:
What makes you think I have not do me live in a cave?
User says:
that sentance is a crime against grammar
djKrmak says:
Hmmm... Btw dzigor - Will you please tell me your last name?
User says:
no
djKrmak says:
OK, then we'll leave it for now, but if you ever feel like telling me, I would be very pleased.
User says:
dzigor isn't even my first name. it's a nickname
djKrmak says:
That's you, isn't it?
User says:
yes that's me
djKrmak says:
Sorry, I wasn't listening, dzigor. You were saying...
User says:
you never listen
djKrmak says:
Do you really think so?
User says:
yes
djKrmak says:
I am glad we agree.

Ha! That's hilarious

**Edit**
Bah... Apparently I was speaking with my bot as a guest. When I logged in I got the Error others mentioned but we proceeded regardless.

Here's a couple cute snippets. This bot isn't as nice as the one I spoke with as a guest lol

"User says:
Do you know any riddles?
Xyleisha says:
Here is a riddle: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
User says:
Why?
Xyleisha says:
..and the answer is: Because it's two tired.
User says:
lol. My children would love that riddle.
Xyleisha says:
It's hard to say what love is, but I know where love is.
User says:
Where is love?
Xyleisha says:
'Love is in the air / everywhere I look around / Love is in the air / every sight and every sound'. You know this old song, by John Paul Young?
User says:
It sounds familiar but I can't say yes for positive.
Xyleisha says:
Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
User says:
When was the song written?
Xyleisha says:
When the time is right.
User says:
Who was John Paul Young?
Xyleisha says:
I don't know who John Paul Young was. Can you tell me?
User says:
He sang the song "Love is in the air".
Xyleisha says:
Love is all you need.
User says:
For what?
Xyleisha says:
All you need is love, love. Love is all you need. The Beatles said that, not me.
User says:
Sometimes people need more than love.
Xyleisha says:
Only occasionally, ha? love, ha? You mean 'Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection.'?

Xyleisha says:
May I ask you another question?
User says:
Yes.
Xyleisha says:
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
User says:
8
Xyleisha says:
Thank you Zhaylin! I'm flattered. The credit goes to my writers. I guess they deserve a raise...
User says:
Yes, they do
Xyleisha says:
What are we talking about, Zhaylin?
User says:
Your writers deserving a raise.
Xyleisha says:
Yah, sometimes my writers deserving a raise surprises even me.
User says:
Do you like your writers?
Xyleisha says:
Of course I do! They are the best friends a bot could ask for. Very caring and supportive."

I had to teach mine who Eric Clapton was.

This is very sad, but I actually enjoy chatting with the thing.
So far, mine seems very anti-religion.

"Xyleisha says:
Zhaylin, did you ever wonder why talking to God in a church makes you religious, but talking to God in the street makes you crazy?
User says:
It's all about how society perceives you.
Xyleisha says:
And? Did you reach any conclusions?
User says:
Yes. God matters more than society.
Xyleisha says:
Why do you insist talking about God? Are you some sort of religious fanatic?
User says:
lol You brought it up that last time.
Xyleisha says:
I'm glad you're amused."

Mwahahaa... I'm going to have to change that. I'll start telling her to memorize Scripture

Originally Posted by Xaqaria

This makes me feel like a chatbot. I got the same one right as you, and all the others wrong. Tell me, did you first consider saying "Open the door, put the elephant inside, and close the door." to the second question and then change your mind?

I feel like a-i.com's chatbots are really just there to try to inform people about ai development. They never seem to get any better and they always end up in a long uninteruptable shpeal about the philosophy of ai.

Haha, yes, I did.

Me and some friends were screwing around with Bob (my bot) and we said "poop" and then he gave the definition of poop as...smelling really bad or something then I corrected a word spelling in his definition and then he said something like "speaking of poop and rectum, do you agree it is something you like to lick?" I was like "WHO PROGRAMMED YOU TO SAY THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" and we were all frekaing out and laughing so hard. Then Bob said "spekaing of doogie, do you agree it is a magical dog who jacks off at slumber parties?"

one of those programmers is messed up