Post the best joke you can think of off the top of your head.

[Apopholis]

What's closest to Silver? The Lone Ranger's balls.

[ExoByte]

Women's Rights

[Man of Shred]

Paris Hilton.

[Adam]

Women's Rights Crying!

[Venomblood]

My life. :'(

[DeeryTheDeer]

Sarah Palin and The Jonas Brothers .....walk into a bar..........

[hellohihello]

Sarah Palin and The Jonas Brothers .....walk into a bar.......... ... go on A little immature but here it goes. Say this out loud: Knock Knock? Who's there? I eat mop! I eat mop who? EWWWW

[Techno]

Your life.

[guitarboy]

v his life

[no-Name]

This thread. Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jacksons nickname.

[guitarboy]

So two Jews walk into a bar- hey- what?- I don't want any jokes like that in my act- what? you don't let Jews in to your bar? Rascist Bastard.

[snowbow]

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. I love that joke.

[Oneironaut Zero]

So a distraught horse walks into a bar and the bartender says.... "Why the long face???" (sorry...I had to) ======================= A guy is hanging out in a bar, having a few drinks. After a while (and a whole lotta beer) he walks up to the bartender and says: "Hey..wanna make a bet?" The bartender says "Hmmm...well....what are the terms?" The guy says "Well..you see that guys glass, waaaaaaaaaay down there at the end of the bar? I bet you $100 I can stand right up here on the bar, pull my dick out, and piss all the way across the bar, into that glass, and not spill one single, solitary drop." Tender: "Wait, let me get this straight. You're going to bet me $100 that you can stand right here (points to a spot on the bar) whip it out, and piss aaaaaalllllllll the way down there, into that guys glass, and not spill one single solitary drop? And if you do spill, you're going to give me $100?" Guy: "Damn right. You in or out?" Tender: "Ok...this I gotta see. You're on." So, the guy jumps up on the bar, unzips his pants, and pulls his junk out. So he's thinkin. He's aiming. He's looking at the bar, looking at the glass, lookin down at his dick. Looking...thinking...aiming...scanning...aiming... judging for distance...judging for wind resistance...judging for pressure...dick/glass, dick/glass.... Then he just lets it fly, pissing all over the place. He's pissing on the bar; pissing on the cash register; pissing on the people beside him. He's actually pissing everywhere except the fuckin glass. By this time, the bartender's laughing his ass off - just completely cracking up hysterically; wiping the piss out of his eyes and shaking his head. He looks up at the guy on the bar and he says "GUESS WHAT?! YOU OWE ME $100! PAY UP!" So, reaching into his pocket, the guy on the bar just starts busting out laughing, himself. The bartender looks up at him and says "...wtf....what are you stupid? What's so funny? You just lost $100!" The guy then looks down at the bartender and says "Yeah? Well..you see that dude over there by the payphone? I just bet him $500 that I could piss on your bar, piss on your customers, piss on your cash register and piss on you, and not only would not be mad about it, but you'd be happy! [/paraphrase] Steve Buschemi - Desparado

[Techno]

Man goes to his doctor, and says he depressed and lonely. Doctor says for man to go see famous clown Bozo, he's in town. He says for him to go and have a laugh. Man starts to cry. Doctor asks him what's wrong, and the man replies, "I am Bozo."

[Kiza]

A man is walking across the street when he's hit by a speeding truck-driver, hyped up on pep pills. He dies instantly. Due to his death, the truck driver is driven into a deep depression, quits his job and becomes addicted to crack cocaine. He dies from an overdose, but not before, in a haze of drunkenness, drugs and depression, he kills a puppy dog. The puppy dog ran away because of his abusive owners, and was bright-eyed and looking forward to the city before his face was stamped on by a cheap boot. The joke is, the joke is, is that that same puppy's former owner was the guy who got hit by the truck. Get it? Get it?

[Marvo]

DV administration.

[Patrick]

Why did the Mexican man throw his wife off a cliff? Tequila Why do French people only have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf. Why did the scarecrow get an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. Have you heard about the magic tractor? It was driving along the road when it turned into a field. All the mathematical functions were at a party. cos(x) and sin(x) were sitting at the bar. They noticed that e^x was sitting all by himself in the corner. cos(x) felt sorry for him so went over to talk. "Hey, how come you're always over here by yourself and never talk to anyone?" cos(x) asks. "Well," e^x replies, "I've tried to integrate with the other functions, but I always end up on my own again". Two physicists and two mathematicians were on a train together. When the ticket collector started coming down the carriage, the physicists took out their tickets, but the mathematicians only had one between them. "Hey, how come you only have one ticket?" asked the physicists. "Watch", said the mathematicians. Then they both walked to the end of the carriage, slipped into the toilet together, and locked the door. The ticket collector came past, knocked on the door and asked for a ticket, and a ticket slid out under the door. The physicists were impressed. On the journey back, the physicists only bought one ticket. This time though, the mathematicians had none. "What on earth are you going to do this time?" Asked the physicists. "Wait and see", said the mathematicians. When the ticket collector appeared at the other end of the carriage, the physicists got up and went into the toilet, and locked the door. The mathematicians then went to the door, knocked, and said "tickets please".

[Apopholis]

Meaning no offense to the Scots... How does a Scotswoman find sheep in a bush? Satisfying.

[High Hunter]

Just received an email with this joke, I'll just copy paste it. The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' 'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.' 'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!' A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence'

[Robot_Butler]

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

[Oneironaut Zero]

^LMFAO!! @ High Hunter Awesome.

[Cowmaster94]

Man goes to his doctor, and says he depressed and lonely. Doctor says for man to go see famous clown Bozo, he's in town. He says for him to go and have a laugh. Man starts to cry. Doctor asks him what's wrong, and the man replies, "I am Bozo." Watchmen

[Cowmaster94]

Two peanuts walk into a bar One is salted

[DeeryTheDeer]

*Knock knock #Who's there? *The frog that interrupts. #The frog th*WELL I GOTTA GO TO THE BLAH BLAH BLAH....

[guitarboy]

All the whores and politicians will look up and shout"save us" And I'll look down and whisper.... "No." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH highlarious.