MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.

Almost forgot to post - Long, emotionally toxic day going to Calgary and back. My family is not a safe place emo6. If I had it my way... I'd go back to loving them from a distance.


[B]Jamie 1 [/B]

Just a short dream of flying in the sky. Jamie was with me... Or around me. I literally felt the love from her. In dreams emotions are so intense. I felt so much love from her it was euphoric.

Jamie 2

Sort of an HH dream. I'm in my normal bed. Jamie gets in bed with me. She has brought a baby and put it between us. We all snuggled together warmly. Again feeling the love.

On that. Sudden infant death can be caused by a parent rolling on to a baby while sleeping. I love the sentiment. Just safety first. I just hope we have a 50 to 100k a year business each before a baby. Times be tough right now.

Hardly sensing Jamie at all in these dreams. I miss last February when it was multiple dreams per night.

Jamie 1

I was with Jamie in a fortnite game... Ugh. Just remember us by a bridge and talking.

Jamie 2

Just remember Jamie hanging with me and my brother? Not sure. We were walking through some woods and I saw shape of smoke in the form of an old lady. It was just frozen there. We went into a cave or something to retrieve something. When we got out. The smoke form was still there. It actually changed into an old lady who looked like a witch. We all got startled and ran. The man argued with me saying the old woman wasn't there before we entered the cave. I said I clearly saw her smoke shape before we entered.

Fromville

I was in a giant house with the Donna character in the From show. I was exploring a basement which was huge. It was like another in the basement. I go through many rooms and hallways. Donna enters through a hidden door. I comment on how big the basement is. She says, Yes that the upstairs is gigantic as well. There's so much there that Dale has never been downstairs.

What

Another dream where I break into someone's house that is a previous customer of my dad's. They don't seem to mind however. I see they have a piano, but the woman went with another piano tuner.

I've been doing 1-2 piano's a month now. Wish it was several a week.

I hope the Jamie dreams increase.

Recall still not as good.

Lucid

I was walking around somewhere Became lucid randomly. Started flying by pawing through the air. After getting some height I noticed I was in a big city. I flew a ways intending to find Jamie. I immediately came to a park by a beach. I noticed people were on the tops of some trees. I flew down to one and there was a ginger girl about 6 or 7 sitting on top of the tree. I asked her if she had seen Jamie? (I used her full name) The girl said she did and pointed by some muddy cliffs near the sea. I noticed that the girl was caked in dirt. I asked her why she was so dirty? She said because there were pigs running around earlier.

I flew towards the cliff. A mound of mud on the top of the cliff started moving. I was expecting one of the pigs to emerge, but instead, a gigantic crab emerged instead. I landed on the base of the cliff where some women were wandering.

My feet sunk into the mud but I could walk easy. A woman with brown hair tied back came out of a door that was in the face of the cliff. She seemed to be serving an invisible table with invisible plates.

"Jamie?". I called her. She grabbed something from a shelf in the cliff face, again invisible, and seemed to put something on a nonexistent table. Her hands reaching into flowing mud and taking her hands out again. "Jamie?" I called.

She still seemed to not hear me. "Jame?" I said her name, not pronouncing the "ee". More like: Jane but with an "M" instead. At this she stopped. She moved her eyes toward me nervously and then continued with her motions.

Okay, I guess she doesn't like her name being pronounced that way. A taller woman emerged from another door from the cliff face. I began walking past the women. As the taller woman got closer she seemed to be taller and taller. As she passed me she said in a slightly condescending "cute," voice, " Oh, wow! You're knee height!" I noticed I was indeed the height of her knees when I woke up.

The Jamie voice said she didn't like the way that girl talked to me.

Last 2 nights, I can't recall anything concrete. I felt Jamie was with me in many dreams. I can only recall that we had dreams of watching many scenes together and we were commenting and laughing at the scenes.

Did she watch the season 3 finale of: From yet? It was a crazy finale. Unfortunately we can't watch the next season until 2026.

Hardly any recall due to some stress, and dealing with my Dad... I was watching some tiktok videos and got the usual,"narcissist." Analysis videos. I asked the Jamie voice if she thinks I'm one of those... She said, "No, Were both just very broken people."

Fight

I was in a Cobra Kai setting ( Yes, I binge watched the entire mid season in two days.) I can't remember much but I think me and Jamie were in a big Karate tournament.

Crazy

First I was visiting some weird lady's house. You were supposed to acknowledge her in a friendly way every time you saw her. I was carrying a plant from the living room to an outside porch. She walked by . I hesitated and smiled at her. She smiled back.

Later I was with my aunt watching TV. Then I was alone with the TV and the TV started smoking. I got up to put it out. Then a light fixture started smoking. I went near it and the smoke was gone.

One morning when I woke up. The Jesus voice said my old Christian friend from JH was close to death.

Jenny

A brief dream where I was with Jenny. I was helping her and her kids move.


The next day I monitored Facebook, since Jenny is a frequent poster. She had a long status about having to move to a new house. And, that she's on disability for a disease and a urinary tract infection.. and other things. I got to praying for her that night. And, to top it off.. the next day I was watching a Christian creator on tiktok. And he was saying how he had this sudden urge to pray over someone's health. He later found out from her husband that she was in the hospital during the exact time he was praying.... Crazy coincidences...

The weather here is bad lately. I'm thinking Jamie might not drive to see me. If the roads are bad. My advice is to always be safe.

Lucid?

Became lucid somewhere. Started floating up. I can't remember what happened before or after.

Exit

Was in a very large building. I was trying to leave. I found a hallway that felt familiar. I wound up in a very large movie theater or something with large steps. Reminded me of some backrooms stuff.

Jamie 1


Just her in bed with me giving me a hug.

Jamie 2

Jamie was working behind a bar. Some guy was getting too flirty with her. She said, " I already have a boyfriend, His name is (my first and last name."

I personally can't say shit to friends or family about Jamie. Last time that happened, a friend told her something and I'm pretty sure it was in a bad light. People said I was too obsessed. By now Jamie knows I have similar emotional problems as her. And when we crush on someone.. it's always crazy and intense. The double standard though. She can socially get away with it as far as driving by my house every now and then. If I did that to a crush I'd probably wind up in jail. Facts.

Two nights in a row and not much on Jamie. I had some interesting happenings with her head voice. One night she asked why I ran away in the parking lot. I remembered and I split on it for a few minutes. The answer I gave was 1. She stood me up. 2. She said something really mean. After I calmed down I heard The Jesus voice said it was time for us to leave the past in the past.

Had some HH of some one playing the piano. It was the first part of Rachmaninov's 3rd piano Concerto, Ossia Cadenza https://youtu.be/Bhj7hunyVjw?si=ak4Yh0PkYGJ0EAXR

Had something like HH flashes but not dream like at all. First was me and Jamie making love, her on top. Second was I was in a room. Night time and no lights except for the glow of a TV. Jamie was on the other end of the couch, staring at me like a zombie. Her eyes glowed from the TV reflection. Che opened her mouth wide with a blank stare and bugs began crawling out of her mouth...

The Jamie voice asked what that was. We talked and apparently she saw the same thing... But it was me all zombied out.

Jamie

Just a flash of me driving a beat up brown, minivan. Jamie got inside and she looked really happy to see me all smiling. Good.

House

I was wandering through a very large house with tons of people living inside it. In some sections the people were dangerous. The house was so big it was like a small city...

Still only recalling Jamie every other night. This is getting frustrated.

Lol

Had a flash of seeing some lady who makes food on tiktok.

The Jamie voice asked who it was in a jealous tone. I tried explaining it was someone on tiktok. She does make a sick mac n cheese: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMhs8YxTN/ expensive to make. But worth it if you follow directions exactly!

Jamie

I was in something like a Sears or a Wal Mart. Some lady with brown hair started talking to me(Jamie). She said something like, " I really like coming to see you. I'm coming to see you again soon."

I didn't recognize her as Jamie and I left the woman to go to a place where I thought Jamie was. I found a younger but fake Jamie. She led me to a room where some guy was. She undressed and they started having sex in front of me. I got pissed off and left.

I think Jamie was trying to confirm to me that she does indeed drive to see me. I just pray she stops her car someday, gets out, and runs right into my arms. Actually, I have fond memories of me and her sitting in her car and talking. That's probably a good place to start.



Killshot

I was in some house with some guy. I left and all these people with guns were going to the house to kill the guy. They were all hitmen. I ran back into the house and told the guy but he didn't try to escape. I ran out front and heard a gun go off. A girl was outside with me... Maybe Jamie, not sure.

Been staying off video games to try and improve recall... But it's not working. For the past 3 nights I only recall 2 fragments from last night. I was in Olds today getting dog food, might have seen Jamie in a red SUV at a stop light but wasn't sure. May have been the girl from Reddi-Mart who drives and SUV of the same color. Couldn't tell.

Vape

I was walking down the street vaping. It tasted very real. IRL I have tried vaping, but I had way worse coughing fits than usual so I stopped. I have fond memories of vaping in the Lethbridge casino during poker tournaments like 10 years ago. Good times .

Jamie sings

Jamie was singing me a song she made up about feeding me an apple or something. There was crunching sounds in the song. I find crunching irritating. I'm always on my headphones for mealtime.

Jamie did grab me a small apple from a tree when we were walking to the store.

I asked the voice about the dream and she said something like Borderlines build fond memories over stuff like that or something.


From TV show keeps getting more crazy...
Anyway I hope the dreams are more frequent.

Jamie voice was saying, how she likes our sweet talk especially late at night and the mornings. Yes, it's really me. I'v, also pondered how sometimes - when I have Her drive by sightings... a dream sometimes follows where she is crying in a vehicle. I do appreciate her trying to get nearer to me and hopefully trying to validate my strange "Telepathic" experiences with her. But, be safe. Don't push too hard. If we seriously talk again (hopefully accompanied by a long hug.) It's going to be somewhat emotionally rocky anyway. Just please be safe and stable as can be.

Not much from two nights but I had one night with contrasting Jamie dreams.

Jamie 1

Before the dream, I fell asleep after briefly watching a UFO documentary on Netflix. (I don't usually watch those, but this one was about Budd Hopkins, I use to read his books as a tween)

In the dream. I was watching a Documentary about Jamie. The guy was like, "Is she really who she says she is?" and he claimed like.... ancient egyptians was talking about her or something in pyramids. The dream changed to me chasing Jamie in a big city like T.O. But she was pretending she didn't know me. She was going to parties... lots of drugs and Drama with some guy. I saw her crying in front of him. The documentary guy was in my head, and I was like, "Yeah, I don't recognize this person at all."

I woke up and checked if the Jamie voice was there (Sometimes there are periods after sleep where she is silent and I assume she is sleeping.). I was like, "Wow what was with that dream? It was like I didn't exist." After some hesitation she said, "Yes... That was me having a really bad episode."

I prayed that I get better dreams about her with holding hands... affection etc.

Jamie 2

I'm sitting on a sectional couch in front of a TV. I'm not even sure If I am watching anything. Jamie sits beside me. I'm astounded such a beautiful girl would even sit beside me. We seem to watch it together. I notice she rested her left arm beside me. I didn't want to be too presumptuous so I laid my right arm over hers. After a moment she took my hand. This part felt... So real. I could see and feel our fingers interlocking. We started trying to lay together. I'm not sure if she was squeezing me too hard but I flt panic and got up (I don't mind big hugs but I have a problem if people squeeze to hard, like Elmyra from looney tunes). So, we tried cuddling another way. But after a moment she wasn't having that either. She got up and started pulling out the foot rest and trying to turn it into a Hide-a-bed. But I woke up as she was doing it.

I found this dream very funny. We are both so awkward trying to figure out what works best.

Voice was hounding me to post more dreams. (Every 3 day or 4 days seems like a consistent way to post.)

Don't remember much.

Jamie 1

I was beside a woman in bed. It was Jamie, but she looked asian (like filipina or malaysian or something). I put my hand on her boob. I was like "Wow, it fits in the palm of my hand." She smile at that and put her hand over mine. The dream fades (This dream coincides with some sweet talk we were having at night.)

Fortnite again

Just a flash of getting shot at and walling off. Not sure if Jamie was in this or not.

Last night:

A jamie dream I forgot but I had this vivid one:

Jamie 2

Me and Jamie were walking in a small apartment building. We came from a larger area and entered a stairwell. Jamie looked up the stairwell and looked frightened and she went back through the door. I took a splie second to see where she was looking but nothing was there. I quickly turned to follow her but when I opened the door, it was nothing but concrete. I was becoming lucid when I woke up.

Wow when Jamie doesn't want to be found in dreams....

Jamie dreams are kinda back? They are few and far in between but still somehow consistent. She might have done a drive by I was brushing off my car. A grey car turned in the alley by my house behind me. It felt like someone was looking at me. I turned and saw part of a head with brown hair and sunglasses. The voice mentioned it may have been her. If so, this is becoming more often. She's getting braver.

Jamie 1

I was in a long non lucid dream that was boring. Me and Jamie met in the middle of the dream. We both briefly talked about the plot of the dream we were in and moved on. Can't remember what was said or the rest.

unsure?

I was in... I'm not sure I had an ipad or something. I was selecting music. The band: Helloween, came to mind. Couldn't figure out if I wanted to hear, "Eagle fly free." or, "Dr. Stein." but then the tablet menu went funny and I couldn't find it. The tablet was suddenly hanging by string around a girl's neck. It was now a white board that we could write messages on. Not sure if this was Jamie or not.

Fighting

I was with a younger guy also named. "Raven." (Not my other dream friend. who does healing songs and stuff.) He was the native guy I ran into one day in the Wal-Mart parking lot when Jamie was giving me a ride home. In the dream he was getting mouthy. So I pounded his face in for a bit. Then I said something like, "Respect your elders." or something and he backed off.

More fighting

I think me and Jamie were in a fortnite game or something. We were walking through a valley and someone shot at us. Jamie got knocked and she was doing the crawl. The shooter grappled over to us with his duo. He told me to Res her so he can kill her again. I said, "If you kill her I will definitely find you and kill you." We went back and forth a few times like that and he backed down.

New fortnite season tomorrow. I have a love/hate relationship with that game. Mainly hate the cringe and the super toxic community.

Jamie again

This morning after our bedtime sweet talk session we often have in our heads. I was in an HH dream she was there. She made lasagna and offered me some.

I enjoyed that dream.

very low recall despite going to bed early some nights and sleeping in.
The new From episode came out. I noticed it was out saturday night after 10. Usually I don't check until sunday but I let Her voice know. I was watching an earlier episode and her voice said the latest was. "Completely fucked." I watched it... and it was. They keep piling on the mysteries of the show without solving much.

Dreams were such low detail they are not even worth titles. 3 Jamie dreams. one in her house. Another of her crying in a car. and another where I felt her presence. other non lucids were not interesting. Just B movie type dreams. I'll try to get better recall soon.

I did see the shooting start thing again. I was outside early morning having a smoke after going to the bathroom. The Jamie voice was saying she was really liking something when I saw the meteor or whatever it was.

One morning the voice kept asking me to say the same prayer over and over again. Her tone seemed mean, as if what I was doing was pathetic. Her voice apologized later in the day. This morning my dog ran away but came back an hour later. My sweet time with the voice was interrupted because I was driving around Bowden from 5:30 am until after 6.

From

I was in Fromville again. The Mathews kids were trying to build a plane or helicopter.

The Jamie voice apparently says that she is enjoying the show... Can't be sure tho.

Work

I was working with my Dad in a large room. Jamie was standing by a door but being quiet. She looked Asian at times.

Jamie 2

Me and Jamie were in a TV show or something. We left the TV set and we were in a house that seemed to be ours. I asked her if she liked the show. She said that she did. She placed a purse on the kitchen table. A bunch of womanly padded products fell out of the purse. One fell on the floor. I picked it up and put it on the table. Jamie was just staring at me.

Maybe this dream is Jamie explaining what was wrong with her the one morning? Maybe her testing me to see if it's another thing I have to contend with should we...

Not many dreams. Jamie drive by again? I was pulling into the Reddi-mart to pull out some cash. Noticed the one car with the wannabe red but not quite color. Stared intently inside... I saw a woman with brown hair, sort of like Jamie but unsure. She seemed to notice I was looking her way and she defiantly turned her gaze to the side (but was probably just shoulder checking for oncoming traffic before turning.). moments later while inside... her voice started up. "Why did I do that? I'm sorry." Her voice was apologizing non stop throughout the day. Her crime - Doing the freezout thing. I mean I'll try my best to let it slide. Even though her voice promised me that she would not do that anymore. I'll admit when I worked with her - it was an extremely frustrating thing to deal with. I have never liked it, don't currently like it, and never will. Experiencing that currently kind of doesn't help. Remember - I'm absolutely certain I have at least mild traits of BPD myself. The worst thing for me emotionally is to consistently re live past trauma. It's bad enough that I currently live with my dad, even though he is getting old and feeble - He still is emotionally abusive. Constantly scoffing in disappointment over every single thing I do. Also Boomer parents, "Why don't my kids wanna see me.?" I'm absolutely positive Jamie reads these, so please take these things into consideration. I have stated a lot on this journal, that I am trying my best to work on my issues around her, so that I can be a safe place for her. It should go both ways. I'm dedicated to being sensitive and accommodating to her issues, and working it out with her with good communication. I however, expect the exact same thing from her. Because if me mentioning in a dream how long it's been since we've talked and how salty I am about it is going to trigger her badly into a splitting episode, What does she think ignoring me in outright defiance does to me? It's a fine line - walking on eggshells. And I do pray everyday that Jesus somehow solves her BPD issues. There's a guy on Tik tik sensitive.stability - a self proclaimed self cured BPD guy that has a program for trying to be symptom free. It probably costs money, but it might be worth it for us to check it out. It's loosely based on DBT. Another thing is that her voice keeps asking for prayers, when we both gt upset at this stuff. That's really good. Wether the prayers are getting answered or not, it's a good thing that seems to help us stay grounded with one another.


On a lighter note. If Jamie wants to talk to me I imagine we are going to have some pretty awkward initial conversations. Somehow I don't think,"Hey there Captain Booty cheeks, are you ready to make that daughter we've been dreaming about? Or are you chicken?" is going to work well.

Dreams:

first night: Nothing, except a flash of Jamie coming up to me and hugging me.

Night after her apparent) run in.


Wal-Mart

I was in a Wal-Mart with some native girl who wanted to be my girlfriend. I saw a Woman I recognized as Shannon M from didsbury (Nice trailer park lady who worked at Hi-Ho for years. Has a couple kids - one borderline daughter with a kid) I'm like "Hey!" And the woman (Possibly Jamie.) started hugging me from behind really tightly and kissing the back of my neck in the same spot over and over again. I was walking as she did this. The Native girl was staring at me funny. I said, "I know this lady I worked with her at Wal-Mart for 5 months or so." (In reality I never worked with shannon but the line implies I was recognizing Jamie). The dream seems to end there.

The voice was still insistent that the van I saw Monday was Jamie. Even though I seen a similar grey van at the same store driven by an older brown haired lady. The voice argued that there's lots of grand caravans in the area. This is true. Her voice complained later, " How come you pretend I'm not there when I visit?" Well... Driving by someone goes quick. Sometimes her sightings don't leave me room to visibly react. One apperrent drive by was at night and I could barely make out the shape of a face. And I couldn't literally see inside the van well because of the lighting. Depending on light reflecting off a windshield can determine how much you see inside someone's vehicle.

Uncle again

I was almost lucid. I spoke like I knew it was a dream. I saw my uncle lying on a cot with some woman. I asked if his name was his name. He said yes. I told him not to come into my dreams anymore. I don't remember much after.

One night I woke up at 2 am and Jamie's voice kept asking for prayers because of a nightmare. Was she watching "From?" - It gave her nightmares. I have heard that Borderlines can have excruciatingly long and vivid frequent nightmares.

Raven

A brief dream where I saw Raven. Can't remember details tho.

Jamie 1

Brief flash of her holding me in bed.

Possibly Jamie?

Started off, I was in a shopping mall. I was in a Zellers or Sears like store. Some women in medical clothing were testing someone. It turns out they had a contagious disease. They said they had to quarantine the area and since I was a few times away that meant me. They put some weird medical gown on me.. more like a vest. Then they brought me a Hazmat suit. This was interrupted by a horde of people running through the store in a panic. The medical people ran away too. I tore off the vest and looked two the double doors leading outside. Another horde of people were running outside as well.

I took off and went down a hallway. Went through a door onto a street. No one was running so 8 figured I was past the danger. I felt I was near Jamie's place so I went up these garden paths separated by plastic bubbles with zip up doors. I was on a hill looking down at at garden being tended by an older lady with brown hair. I knew who she was. I had seen that lady lots in dreams at Jamie's house. Not sure if she's a guide or guardian.

I went through the next zipper door, and I was quite confused as to where I was. Inside was a living room. A woman that looked like Jamie was sleeping on a couch. I woke her up and asked how to leave? She got up and said she would help. Her hair went from long to shorter with the ends by her chin. She said, "Make sure you give me a hug and a kiss before you leave. " I thought since she no longer looked like Jamie, that she was someone else... That it might be cheating. I gathered some things that I had left there including a gun. Jamie didn't seem bothered by that. I tucked it into a side pocket or purse. She looked like Jamie again and I was waiting for my hug. Jamie went into a kitchen then and she looked like someone else. An older man was suddenly with her. They were talking. I figured it was the woman's husband. She no longer seemed aware that I was there so I left.