Thread: A Friends Predicament

She expects it, and therefore it happens. She knows it's gonna happen, so therefore, it will happen, due to our brain controlling everything.

No matter how lucid you become, your own psyche will still have implementations. The very fact that you desire to lucid dream is derived from behaviour characteristics of your psyche.

I would guess that your friends problem in lucidity, foundations keep melting, is representational of wake-state problems. It is a symbol of foundational or family problems. The symbolism in the dream would make me speculate that she is finding it hard to keep a relationship intact and that if she takes her attention away from the relationship, it falls apart. See the symbolism..?

What do you think..?

~

She's making hard on herself by believing that something will go wrong.

If that's not the case then her sub-conscious is trying to tell her something about her life, since it happens often, the problem has not been solved yet [as how it was with me dying a few years ago everyday, until it's resolved, it'll keep bothering her in her dreams].

Things melting means that nothing's solid and for things to be solid there has to be a solid foundation, so something that she holds of deep value or affects her greatly, friends, family, etc. is wrong, that or she feels like she's 'losing herself.' Now, I myself believe that symbolism is greatly affected by how the person/dreamer perceives the event/symbol if it means nothing to her than typically generic symbolism points out these dreams' meanings, so my interpretations are up to you to toss out or keep in consideration.

From what it sounds like, the falling and tilting sounds like internally, she's in turmoil over something important, she can't stay on 'solid ground' over something because she's too busy debating and/or indecisive over it, and if you can’t decide on something, you're not going to be able to do anything about it.

Now if neither of those two ideas of mine are correct, then it's just like I said in the beginning, she believes that dream control is hard and that in turn makes it hard.

Originally Posted by Lucidbulbs

She's making hard on herself by believing that something will go wrong.

If that's not the case then her sub-conscious is trying to tell her something about her life, since it happens often, the problem has not been solved yet [as how it was with me dying a few years ago everyday, until it's resolved, it'll keep bothering her in her dreams].

Things melting means that nothing's solid and for things to be solid there has to be a solid foundation, so something that she holds of deep value or affects her greatly, friends, family, etc. is wrong, that or she feels like she's 'losing herself.' Now, I myself believe that symbolism is greatly affected by how the person/dreamer perceives the event/symbol if it means nothing to her than typically generic symbolism points out these dreams' meanings, so my interpretations are up to you to toss out or keep in consideration.

From what it sounds like, the falling and tilting sounds like internally, she's in turmoil over something important, she can't stay on 'solid ground' over something because she's too busy debating and/or indecisive over it, and if you can’t decide on something, you're not going to be able to do anything about it.

Now if neither of those two ideas of mine are correct, then it's just like I said in the beginning, she believes that dream control is hard and that in turn makes it hard.
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Well said.

~

whoa...that's freaky...

Yes, she's been having a lot of problems with relationships. She just broke up with her boyfriend of 4 months today after several weeks of problems from a missed trip to Wales with said boyfriend. She lives with her mom and they have a lot of communication/cooperation problems.

She always remarks that since I juggle and am taking spanish (two of her mothers most favorite things) that her mother loves me more than her. I always denied that, because I've met her mother on several occasions and know that she cares about her daughter, but maybe she doesn't believe it. This is very odd.

Should I tell her all this? I wouldn't want to make her mad at this point, she's been increasingly grumpy lately.

Pephaps encourage her to check out DV - plenty of proof that 'drastic control' is possible, and it might help contradict her self-fullfilling prophecy - there's a whole sub-forum devoted to dream control!!!

Originally Posted by O

Well said.
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Thanks, I read your interpretation afterwards and thought, 'Gee, that sounds reasonable.'

Originally Posted by slimslowslider

Pephaps encourage her to check out DV - plenty of proof that 'drastic control' is possible, and it might help contradict her self-fullfilling prophecy - there's a whole sub-forum devoted to dream control!!!
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Agreed here. Direct her here and we could give her some help and pointers, and help her learn more about lucidity.

Mainly it does seem like a problem that she believes its difficult so it becomes difficult. If we teach her its easy, it will become easy

Ok, I'll see. It may take a bit of doing though. probably won't get her signed up right away and there are no guarentees that she'll be active, but I'll try my best.

Originally Posted by bentrider08

whoa...that's freaky...

Yes, she's been having a lot of problems with relationships. She just broke up with her boyfriend of 4 months today after several weeks of problems from a missed trip to Wales with said boyfriend. She lives with her mom and they have a lot of communication/cooperation problems.

She always remarks that since I juggle and am taking spanish (two of her mothers most favorite things) that her mother loves me more than her. I always denied that, because I've met her mother on several occasions and know that she cares about her daughter, but maybe she doesn't believe it. This is very odd.

Should I tell her all this? I wouldn't want to make her mad at this point, she's been increasingly grumpy lately.
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It takes time for these things. You can never expect someone's behaviour to change in 24 hours. Although I am sure you know this, it is a premise for my next point.

I can only assume from the way you describe the situation that you and your friend are around the age of 17. At this age is when we begin to form our identity - who you think you are, what you believe, etc. Unforunately, this is usually established by arguing and debating with others. This is because we, as humans, naturally seek others out to try and compare and contrast our own ideas and thoughts to in order to establish who we are. Make sense..?

Thus, perhaps your friend is having problems deciding what she wants to become or who she wants to be. She may feel great problems with this because of her mother - as you noted - trying to suggest to her what to do and how to live. While we all know mothers are caring and "just trying to look out for them" your friend will find it difficult to accept this and feel simply restrained and dictated.

If you are good enough terms with her mother, try talking to her. Explain to her how your friend is upset and would really feel happier with her support. I am sure you will be able to figure it our depending on the context of the problem.

Furthermore, if she is expressing anger towards you, I believe there are some underlaying psychological problems here. Is it possible that you two have recently been inclinded to have a relationship..? Or did you..? Either way, if she expresses frustration with you, this may be a transference of her deeper desires - to be with you. However, this is far-fetched and really I am trying to dig too far. I simply bring it up because of the way you have described her and the fact that you took the time to look for help for her on an online forum - you must care about each other on a decent level.

Right..? What do you think..?

~

I think I'll just make a point in addition to that of O'nus' on her possibly wanting to be with you. That is a plausable possibility and would make sense, however another option could be that you two are very close friends and she trusts you. Her letting her anger out on you could just be because you two are close enough for her to realize that your there for her as a friend and that you understand her. Of course she may or may not think this upfront.

But once again, refer her here. Im sure DV can help her with her Lucid Dreaming problems among others.

I wish you the best of luc kwith you and your friend, hope Dv helps her out

That's fairly accurate. Yes, we are both 16 but good enough to be 17 her birthday is four days after mine, I'll be 17 on march 9th.

I may try talking with her mother, I just want to be really cautious about all this, I'm a little iffy about the idea of interfering. I will still help if I can.

No, we never were inclined to be involved with each other in any way beyond friendship, I don't date anyway, I don't think it is wrong I just don't do it. I tried to be as supportive as I could in her last relationship, sometimes even to the point of being a messenger between the two when they were having disagreements. The both of us are in a small group of friends that have been together ever since school started, I consider all of them to kind of be like the siblings I never had.

Yeah, in the beginning she'd lean against me, write on me, follow me like a shadow, and do all kinds of wierd stuff, While I didn't really think so, comments have been made that she had been hitting on me for the first few weeks. But it stopped after a while once she found her recent ex-boyfriend. I still don't want to do anything though. I love her as a sister, not a wife.

Well, you know what they say. Incest is best, put your sister to the test.

Just kidding. In all seriousness, it sounds as you two are really close. That said, as a close friend you should try to get to the root of her problem and help her with it. But, don't get too intrusive. If she starts to feel uncomfortable or uneasy, back up a bit. But you should definatly try to help her anyway you can, even if all she wants is a shoulder to cry on.

Helping her mother understand the situation would be a good idea as well. Letting her mom know how she feels is important.

And sometimes people just need someone to talk to. Sounds like her problem is a little deeper then thinking Dream Control is difficult.

*sigh*

I understand, for the most part. It may not be easy, her mother from what I understand thinks that she can't talk to her. I may end up being a kind of go-between yet again. Yes, I would very much like to avoid unpleasantness if at all possible. Timing will be crucial.

I didn't really see much connection to dream control and her personal problems, I guess it should be anticipated that dreams would feel the impact of real life. It's kind of freaky when people can figure out an entire scenario through something that I thought was a complete LD problem. I'm a little worried what might happen if she sees this thread I'll do what I can, if you guys want to know any progress I can keep you posted in this thread. I'll just see if I can get her on first off, not going to go into details, for some reason I get the feeling that she may not want me trying to help in her affairs. or maybe I'll take her directly here, seeing this stuff is really neat to me maybe she will think the same?

As for the LDing, the interpretation that was posted earlier could be correct. However, in this scenario, though the interpretation fits well, her LDing problems could just be directly related to stress. Stress, brought on from issues such as this, can be murdersome to LDing. That added in without real knowledge on the phenomenon will kill her control and make it seem impossible.

But, once again, her problems should be looked after first. A person's well being is higher priority, we wouldn't want her entering a state of depression.