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    5 Visitor Messages

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      I love your avatar/profile pic.
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      im sorry for your bad nightmareish year.....
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      Thanks! I'm really glad you like it!
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      I love your signature and avatar. Respect.
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      Did you make your sig, or find it on the internet?
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    About Blackberryfox

    Basic Information

    Date of Birth
    December 29, 1986 (36)
    About Blackberryfox
    LD Count:
    None so far
    Not much to say. I was born in a small town, graduated from high school, went to college and after three quarters decided I hated it and quit. While searching for a job or a trade school or anything I could do I discovered dog grooming and couldn't be happier with my job of choice. It's become a major part of my life and defines a great deal of who I am.

    I love animals and have two cats (Dahlia and Roxie) and a dog (Bella). Foxes are not only my favorite animal, but they also serve as my spiritual guide and a sign of strength and good luck in my life.

    I don't believe that anything happens by chance and that even the darkest of times in our lives occur for a reason. I'm a very spiritual person thanks to several experiences that I simply can't explain though I don't expect anyone else to believe or take my word for it. It's just something that I can't ignore in my life and dreams actually play a very big part in that.

    I'd like to think that I'm a very nice and open minded person if not very shy (or so I'm told). At least when you meet me in person.
    Country Flag:
    Reading and Writing, Video Games, Roleplaying, Online Gaming, Movies (mostly horror), Daydreaming
    Dog Groomer
    How you found us:
    Simply stumbled upon it while searching around for interesting forums.


    "Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength." - Ralph W. Sockman


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    07-10-2011 10:39 AM
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    Recent Entries

    Tuesday, February 15, 2011

    by Blackberryfox on 02-16-2011 at 01:22 AM
    Two dreams during my nap. The first involved a co-worker that I get along with really well. The zombie apocalypse had happened and my co-worker and I were part of a small group of people that large companies who had started to rebuild themselves after the apocalypse would hire to go into heavily infested buildings and clear out the zombies so they could use the facilities again. Along the way we would pick up food, medicine, scrap, and anything that we could find of value and sell it as part of our fee for doing the job. My co-worker had her teenage son and daughter with her (she has no children in real life), and there were I think three or maybe four other older gentleman that was part of the group.

    In my dream we had several new stops for where we could go and one of the places on the list was a pet facility that I had worked at before starting the new job I had now (I hated this job and was miserable though none of my past grudges came up in the dream. It was just another building to me). It was an especially bad job because it was filled with turned animals which, at least as far as the dream was concerned, were one of the more difficult problems you could deal with.

    So we got into the main lobby and were talking about how we were going to handle this. I was told that I needed to stay back along with the two teenagers. Suddenly the lobby was overrun with zombies. I tried to help fight, but even though I was firing my gun and hitting them nothing was happening. Like if you were playing duck hunt and your little controller gun was broken. My co-worker finally convinced us to run and we went to the arena (the building was originally a warehouse and he had made the middle part this huge open area where dogs could play and such). I remember the structure of the building was all wrong. We were able to go straight into the arena area from the lobby where in the real building there is a long hall with two other sectioned off parts on either side before you reach the arena ramp.

    My co-worker told us to get into the arena where we would be safe, but as we were going down the ramp we saw where the arena was flooded with zombies, most of them dogs. We rushed back up the ramp and along this pathway towards the hotel section (that didn't actually exist in the real building) and into the hotel (he had built a giant wall that made it look like a building within a building). Instead of there being the dog kennels like I remember we were greeted with a series of rooms that didn't seem to make any sense. They lead into each other haphazardly and there didn't seem to be any hallways that you could go down. We all got kind of split up until I finally found my co-worker again.

    Everyone had decided that this work was just far to dangerous and not worth the time and effort so they were going to scavange what they could and just drop it. Her two teens had found some medications in the vet clinic part of the building (one of them being an anti-itch med that I bought for my Bella just today actually). After we met up with them we started to run out of the building and that's about when I kind of woke myself up.

    During the whole thing I don't remember seeing any zombies that looked like anyone I knew who worked there. They were all just either animals or nameless faces.


    My second dream was a rather abrupt one that happened after I feel back asleep. I was in this building with someone else. I can't remember who they were or what they looked like. We were in a building that was supposed to be haunted. I ran upstairs for some reason and realized suddenly that something bad was about to happen and started furiously trying to get back downstairs again. There was a sense of urgency like I had to get out immediately. I ended up running into the person again as we both fled. We managed to get free of the place and hopped into a car and started to drive off as fast as we could around the parking lot. Then it ended.

    I know there was a lot more to it I just can't remember any of it. It left me almost as soon as I woke up.

    non-lucid , dream fragment

    Sunday, February 13, 2011

    by Blackberryfox on 02-13-2011 at 10:28 PM

    Two dreams last night. The first I was at this massive gathering on some sort of lake that had been frozen over. I was with a man who, at least in the dream, was my boyfriend. We were all dressed in these outfits out of the 1800s and I had on this beautiful maroon colored dress. I was standing around talking with my boyfriend and some of his friends out on this lake when all of a sudden this giant ship sailed up, breaking through the ice on the lake. My boyfriend told me that it was his families ship and that they were very old fashioned and so we would have to be extra careful with how we acted.

    Everyone boarded the ship by climbing up the sides of the boat and once we did we were greeted by a large group of elderly men and women. His mother was in the most extravagant dress with these large feathers and flowers in her hat. He introduced me and she didn't seem very pleased, but he didn't seem to concerned about it either. Eventually everyone dispersed around the ship and the party continued. I remember that he had to constantly correct me in all these tiny little manner related things that people just didn't concern themselves with anymore like making sure I was sitting a certain way or that my arms were being held in front of me just right. Just for his parents and their friends. He also wouldn't let me get to close to him because it would seem inappropriate, but we had fun sneaking little touches here and there when no one was looking.

    After a while, for some reason that was never explained, he told me to take off my dress so that I was just in a slip that could have been a dress all its own. The other women were doing it as well so I allowed him to help me out of my dress. We sat down again and continued talking and flirting as we had been all evening when he suddenly said he had to go and he would be right back. So I was sitting by myself when this other boy came up and sat down beside me scooting me over. I remembered him from earlier as one of my boyfriend's friends and we started up a conversation when he brought up the subject of math. He pulled out a sheet of paper that contained three division problems and had me start trying to solve them. I remember using the right method to solve them, but he kept telling me I was wrong and trying to get me to use this odd way of solving them. To prove that he was the one that was wrong I started doing the last problem on my own, but I got to a point where I completely blanked out and couldn't remember what I was supposed to do next. At this point I ended up waking up.


    The second dream I had was much shorter and really bizarre. It was like every overly macho fighting game you've ever played. I was seeing everything from the view point of your stereotypical buff fighter with long hair. There were two other guys in this sauna in some sort of shower room. Earlier they must have done something to my (or the guy that I was supposed to be) girlfriend. From there it was pretty much typical "I'm going to destroy you" dialogue and they started wailing on each other. At one point the girl kept trying to come into the room even as I was pushing her out each time telling her she was getting in the way. The dream pretty much ended after I beat the dude up.


    Friday, February 11, 2011

    by Blackberryfox on 02-11-2011 at 11:36 PM

    So I was at a large concert like gathering with my now girlfriend and another girl whom my brain perceived as her ex though I've never actually seen her before. I guess just how my mind imagined her to be. There was a group of people on stage and while they weren't singing they were talking to the crowd and getting us all excited. They were asking people random questions and just doing random things to engage everybody and often times they would single out audience members for one reason or another. I didn't think much of it at the time, but my girlfriend and her ex were sitting rather close to each other while I was at least three people away from both of them (significance maybe?), yet I didn't feel immediately jealous or left out in anyway.

    Normally I'm a very shy person in large crowds and I mostly tried to keep to myself only interacting with the rest of the crowd when the performers singled me out for something. Yet as the night went on I became more and more open until I was shouting things out of turn. At one point they threw a large deflated thing that looked like a mini hot air balloon into the crowd. They tossed me something to blow it up with and rather then feeling anxious and nervous at being on the spot I was actually excited. I started to blow it up, but the thing slipped away from me and went zooming into the crowd. Rather then being embarrassed I made a witty remark about it and got the entire crowd laughing. I remember being so proud that I was breaking out of my shell and I turned to look at my girlfriend who was busy talking to her ex and the two of them were laughing. She had missed the entire thing and was completely ignoring me. This was the first point in the dream that I started to feel jealous. I closed the gap and tried to talk to her, but her and her ex just ignored me like I wasn't even there and continued their own conversation as they watched the group perform. I woke up feeling angry that she had completely ignored all the wonderful social progress I had made in favor of goofing around with her ex.


    Thursday, February 10, 2011

    by Blackberryfox on 02-11-2011 at 12:46 AM

    Ugh I have the most horrible time remembering dreams when they're not full blown nightmares. Need to work on that, especially considering my last one was rather pleasant up until the the end. Oh well I'll write down everything I can recall, which isn't much.

    I know that I was in a strange house with a group of people that I knew in the dream, but have no memory of ever meeting in the waking world. I was in an attic that was nothing more then the wooden skeleton of the house. No carpet, or color on the walls. There were boxes packed with stuff shoved off to the side and it was really bright. Much brighter then an attack should have been though i don't remember seeing any lights. It was almost like it was natural sunlight though there were no windows.

    I was running. I think it was some sort of race that I was determined to win. So determined that when my cat Dahlia stepped out in front of me I didn't bother to stop. I simply jumped to try and jump over her, but I failed and ended up stomping on her. At first I didn't feel bad about it until I stopped to pick her up and look her over. She was badly hurt with scratches on her chin and face, but the worst of it was her front leg. The skin and muscle had been completely torn away leaving bloody exposed bone. The skin was just dangling from her with her entire paw hanging off of it. She wasn't acting like she was in any pain, but just had this really angry pissed off look, though deep down I knew that she was dying. I was so upset that I actually ended up waking up from it.

    I then proceeded to hunt down my cat and snuggle with her under the covers for the rest of the night, much to her annoyance.


    Updated 02-16-2011 at 01:23 AM by Blackberryfox

    dream fragment , non-lucid , nightmare

    The Girl: Nightmare series (Date unsure)

    by Blackberryfox on 02-08-2011 at 12:10 AM

    Maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but I thought I would start trying to recall some of my better dreams and nightmares (since those tend to be the ones that stick out in my mind the best) that I've had over the years and finally get them written down somewhere. I think for the first one I'm just going to copy/paste the nightmare series that I posted in one of the discussions since I already took the time to write it out and it was a very important series of dreams for me. Probably one of the most important that I've ever experienced.

    So without further ado here it goes.


    Out of all my dreams my nightmares are always the ones that are most vivid. I could tell you just about every single nightmare I've had in detail even though they've been going on since I was little and I've never written them down. They're pretty much burned into my memory. Usually my nightmares are always reoccurring and last for a week at the very least, most of the times longer. However not very long ago I started having a series of nightmares.

    At first each one started in the same room. It was a white rusted out public bathroom with those annoying flickering florescent lights. I was watching everything from first person view though I couldn't make any movement other then to turn my head. At the start of every dream it was the same with a girl in a hospital gown, bare feet, and long stringy black hair standing in the middle. Her skin was all gray and bloated like how they portray bodies that have been in the water for a long time. She looked like she was completely drenched, but I can't remember her ever dripping any water. She just had the appearance. I this point I never saw her face, it was always covered by her hair.

    While each dream started out the same what happened in them was different. Sometimes she would just stand in the middle of the room doing nothing, but staring at me. Other times she would be reaching out to me like she would touch me, but she never managed to get to that point, and sometimes she would be walking around the room. No two were exactly the same like I was used to and there was never the sense of nervousness or panic that I usually felt. Then suddenly out of the blue it changed completely.

    Suddenly I found myself in a strange ruin that looked like it was some sort of pyramid, except everything around me was kind of grainy. Like I was playing an old first person game like Wolfenstein only with a bit better detail. It was very claustrophobic feeling and while I didn't see any ceiling or floor I remember there being a lot of blue beneath and above me. I knew that I was with several other archeologists who were in light brown outfits though they never actually came into my eyesight. It was just like a memory I had of who they were.

    As we wandered around the pyramid I came across a round amulet secured in one of the stone walls. When I took it I realized that I had seen an old fireplace with a round spot cut out on the mantel. It all felt very much like a puzzle video game and I knew I had to take the amulet and place it in the mantel (I probably should add I never actually saw the fireplace in my dream, just like the other archeologists it was just like a memory I had). I remember I could hear their voices calling for me as I took off towards the fireplace and I called for them to come, but the closer I got the further away their voices were until finally I couldn't hear them at all.

    When I got to the fireplace I suddenly knew what was behind it. I knew that the girl from my other nightmares was there. I placed the amulet in the mantel and suddenly the fireplace pulled back and slipped to the side revealing a beautifully dark blue tiled room. The detail in my dream suddenly became much, much clearer and actually looked like something that could really exist in the world rather then a video game.

    As I said the whole room was made of dark blue tiles of various shades and there were beautiful green vines climbing up to the ceiling where there was a hole that provided the only source of light. It must have lead to the outside because it was obviously sunlight. It was a small, but breathtaking room and on the far end opposite the door was an old claw footed tub. It seemed to be in near perfect condition save for maybe some discoloration and weathering here and there. It was filled with a murky green/black water and I knew immediately that she was in there hiding. I felt like I should be scared, but I just wasn't. I was calm and felt compelled to go to the tub and get closer to her. Not like I had to, but like I wanted to.

    When I got to the tub I leaned over and at this point my view changed from first person to third. It was a weird sensation. I was myself, and I could feel my actions, but I was watching from a distance rather then with my own eyes if that makes any sense.

    I got close to the edge of the tub and peered inside when suddenly the girl's hand came out from the water and grabbed my wrist. She started to pull me in though it wasn't forceful. She allowed me to step into the water and I sat there with her as she started to come out of the water. For once I finally got to see her face though the details were hazy. She kept her hand on my wrist and her mouth wasn't moving, but I strongly felt like she was trying to talk to me. Trying to tell me something, but before she could something woke me up. I think it was my alarm, but the dream ended before I could figure out what she wanted and I didn't dream of her again for a long time.

    I actually told a friend about her and when I saw that friend later she said she had done something to take care of it. There are a lot of people in my hometown that claim to know magic and be wiccan/pagan though in all honesty from what I've seen of them most of it just seems to be a lot of fluff from college students (not saying it all was of course). In the case of my friend I'm 100% certain that was the case so I didn't think much of it at the time. However after wards I didn't have any dreams about her for a very long time. It wasn't until I moved into my second apartment that I had my last and final dream about her if you could really call it that.

    It was very weird. I remember laying in bed trying to sleep while my then girlfriend was in the living room watching TV. At no point did I feel like I was asleep or even getting sleepy. The entire time I felt like I was wide awake, but at the same time it was still kind of an out of body experience where I was seeing things that I couldn't possibly have seen from my vantage point.

    The way my bed was set up the head of the bed and one side was pushed up against a wall so only the foot and other side were left open. I remember laying there on my stomach with my head facing towards the side of the bed that wasn't against the wall when suddenly this massive dark void, like a hole, opened up on the floor, parallel to where my head was on the bed. My arm was hanging down a little from the edge and I kind of 'watched' as the girls hand started to claw it's way up out of the void trying to reach for mine. Suddenly I started to feel a horrible panic, and I could tell that she was struggling to claw her way up from the hole. She gripped at the floor and the side of my bed and anything she could reach, but she never managed to make it out. Honestly I can't remember how it ended. She didn't get sucked back in that I remember and I don't recall anything that I could call waking up. It felt more like I was coming back to myself. Like the whole thing had never been a dream though it didn't exactly feel real either.

    Again another friend claimed she was trapped and tried to free her, but again I question the sincerity of her belief just because the way she lived her life seemed rather hypocritical compared to what I've read about wiccan/pagan practices.

    I haven't had any dream like it since and I've never seen her or anything that looked like her again. To this day it still bothers me. I feel like she had been trying to tell me something that I missed and will never fully understand though I'm not sure if maybe that's for the better or not.

    Updated 02-11-2011 at 12:48 AM by Blackberryfox

    nightmare , memorable