I would bet money that I just figured out how to make a drug that would force you to become lucid if you had it in your system during a dream.
(continued) I'd like to think that I've always been compassionate... if sometimes for the wrong people, but we've all been young and stupid. And thanks for calling me so. n_n I've always kind of felt like I'm the person that people have no problem pouring their hearts out to... in school people who I didn't even really know were always telling me their deepest secrets, like I was the person they felt they could tell and feel secure in talking to someone they trust without having to open up to someone in their close inner circle. That was the attitude I picked up on, anyway. Consequently I never really formed any friendships that weren't rooted in strong emotional bonds, for most of my life, honestly. I guess I just give off that kind of aura. To be quite frank, growing up I was always amazed at all the stereotypes of school being all about drama and problems.... I was convinced it was all BS until I graduated and started hearing about other peoples' school experiences.
(continued) I know, isn't it wonderful? X) I used to get really bummed about reality too, still do rarely... but mostly I've just given up. It's much more fun when you just laugh at the absurdity. I'm glad you're doing better. Drugs have certainly changed me.... I was innocent once, too, you know. Strangely, I'd have to say that really the thing that drugs gave me the most was self-control, because I was forced to face the consequences of not having it before... and hard. They also showed me who I really am inside - the bliss junkie. I'm extremely addicted to euphoria and not afraid to admit it. If I had never done drugs, who knows who I'd be now... but I don't even really care to consider it, because I love who I am now.
Hehe, yeah, I'm sure it's a bit more complicated than that. Though, I don't doubt that non-normal dopamine levels can cause certain fetishes. Once when I was really coked out I got turned on from a friend of mine talking about coprophilia... a scary thought. Yeah, it's nice that I don't have to worry about that. Unfortunately masturbating doesn't come with the same luxury... it's hard for me to pull that off even if I'm just a little too high. Lose focus soooo quickly, especially when you're tripping really hard... but orgasming when you can barely even remember who you are is pretty wonderful, and it comes with its own fireworks display. Rapist! D: I can understand the appeal of a power play. I'm sure I'd be into something like that, like I said before there has to be some kind of foreplay... just sex alone doesn't seem like enough, it has to be fun. >w<
(continued) lol, I'm not surprised that you would remember my name, miss observant. I'm generally better, but I have my ups and downs.... though downs now are just brought about when I get annoyed that I can't make sense of this reality/system. And I know I never will. Mostly though, knowing it's absurd and unknowable just makes me burst out laughing at its magnificent deception. I just laugh and chill because there is no sense. As for you, you seem really positive, chilled, and full of compassion. Would you say that drugs have actually given you something, positive.... long-term. You know, changed your character or enlightened you somewhat? Did you always exude, well, compassion? Because you clearly do. ^_^
Amusingly, fetishes are quite linked to non-normal levels of dopamine in the brain -- born from non-normal levels. I don't believe that... I just think these scientific minds have no creativity when it comes to this. Tripping for it would be insane, and highly interesting if it's possible to still do it of course.... this question usually applies to men than it does women hehe. I'm sure a lot of men want women to just lay there.... I on the other hand, like them putting up a fight. *makes me sound like a rapist* I just mean a bit of roleplay following what I said before: women attempting to be dominant -- a bit of a wrestle, and then I win.
(continued) I'll have to give it a shot. :3 I wonder when I'll actually get around to it, now that I'm not smoking anymore. I hear ya. X3 Life is all just a big mystery, but I try to just take things as they come. There have definitely been some bizarre occurrences with people knowing things about me through dreams alone and apparently vice versa. Thanks, Jay. (Oh yes, I remembered. ) I hope you're doing better too, you seem to be in a healthy state. n_n I've become a much more positive person since then. I didn't even really feel like I was a person back then, a sensation I've only come into recently... it's hard to believe that my life could've ended without feeling that, and so many other things I've only experienced since. True happiness, really loving someone, legitimate sexual attraction, feeling in tune with my natural, animal self... the list goes on. I can't imagine what tomorrow will bring.
I don't understand people who say they don't have fetishes. Where's the fun? That wouldn't surprise me, though. Me not wanting to recreate mine in the bedroom may be mostly because... well, like you said, they're not exactly possible lol. And not even just in a "oh, this would take some extreme roleplaying" type of way, I mean in a way that there's literally no way to translate them over. >w< Unless we're tripping for it, that would be pretty fun. See, I think I'm just on the flip side here.... When I think of traditional sex, I also think of the woman just doing nothing and lying there. Sounds wonderful. Haha, nah, I actually do think of myself getting more into it, though I don't have much experience to speak from.
(continued) You should definitely look into it! If you can be bothered to do it... you'll be surprised! It even increases the relaxed response after more so, as if more prolactin is released to counter the amount of dopamine you're using during it. I'm quite open minded, though a bit skeptical. Sometimes, I just don't know what to trust.... especially when you can't rely on your own senses. Damn drugs. Oh Aly... I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope you're in a higher place now -- you at least come across like you are, and are chilled. I've almost been there myself.
Who knows, eh. Next you'll be doing it because of my ways. ^_^ My friends say they have no fetishes whatsoever, except maybe women dressing in maids outfits, meh. I think fetishes have a lot to do with it. Mmm, it's a strange thing because not engaging in anything sexual with another, then I need my fetishes, but in person it's definitely not a necessity. You don't want to recreate them with people though? Interesting. I try to recreate all of mine. And, whilst not a necessity, adds to the experience a lot. I think it's because when I think of traditional sex, it involves a woman just doing nothing and lying there... which is boring as hell. Hehe, fantasies, even if about regular sex, should carry over to reality. At least if the guy matches your fantasy.
