I used to watch a lot of anime but it never carried over anyway. >w< *sigh* Oh well.... I've been told I need to watch that, but I'm not sure how much I'd really care for it. Whiny voice aside, how is the series so far? I would hope so, that's always a fun type of power. And pfft, you're telling me you've got all this talk and you can't take a couple surprise attacks, one of which you knew I was there for? And I'm glad, I'm going to have to work on it some more... I'll bet I can make it even more psychotic.
Maybe because I watch too much anime. ^_^ I tried to watch To-Love-Ru today.... three episodes in and I can't stand the whiny way lala speaks. Maybe I'm a tad grumpy today. Haha, it didn't even feel like we got started. You and your cheap shots. I'm sure next time you'll involve a higher degree of environmental manipulation, and I also expect to see psychological warfare. Your laugh was.. interesting, in the most horrifically twisted way imaginable. Mmm, it's sad to say that MDMA has made me feel more 'love' and bindness to others than any relationship has. It'd be great if I ever felt that intensity for a girl naturally, alas not yet. Have you felt it without additional chemicals nor through sex? As it is, I always want to cuddle though -- sensuality is nice. lol, yes, something more than masturbating would be welcomed, of course.... if it's the right thing, right?
Why don't I have dreams that are this intense? X) Sounds like a pretty fun time to me. I'm sure I'll be back soon enough.... And I hope you're ready for more, because that was just a quick taste. Did you like my laugh? I hope it was satisfactory.
(continued) A monomolecular whine of particles spun from your position. You had vanished. I began to bellow with uncontrollable laughter, unaware of your nasty surprise. Erupting invisibly from below, a hurricane of colourful diamond spears shredded through my flesh. Torn pieces of my garments lumped with my pulpy tissue rained disgustingly. Precariously pinned, I felt you emerge from behind....embracing me, “I’m sorry Wolfwood, but playtime over. We’ll meet again”, whilst you took a lick of my raging blood trickling down my neck. I smiled and wished for more. Appearing in front of me--hand on hip--you gave a teasing, brisk wave, and then dissolve into a mystical collection of fluttering pink petals. An alluring, fleeting scent caresses my face. You are gone. Yanking the hefty spears out with pleasure, I muse: ”Again, she says. I look forward to it.” I lay back on some rubble and smirk at the charcoal sky.
(continued) You crouched over me: slender and artful...your face draped with a sickle of inky hair. “Regeneration - I want to see. I want to see!” Your eyes dark and wide as my cells multiplied and reformed, ending with an overly welcoming grin engineered to my face. “Hello, Aly. Finally.” Phasing to a nearby dinky rooftop, your body trembled with enthusiasm. “Let’s play, Wolfwood. This will be fun, don’t you think?” The air grew hazy, and the little sparks of ambient light were crushed by overwhelming darkness. Faltering, I stood from amongst the blood-stained rubble, my arms out groping the sky in an embracing motion, I said: “Yes, fun. It will be. Attack me”.
And here it is; you appeared. It was fun, exceptionally clear, but so brief. Meandering through a grim, ruined city. Devoid of human life -- nothing, in fact, but an evil assortment of crows and blackbirds scurried the desolate landscape. There was a uncanny sense of another’s presence as I passed an alley, but it swiftly dissolved as I focused on the gloomy, blue buildings ahead. A mistake, perhaps. No warning, a sudden zap to the face; as if sniped by a concentrated hail of hot energy. Bloody fistfuls of flesh was torn violently from my face, chunks splattering across the mournful landscape. A tasteful, dumbfounded feeling of excitement surged through my core, as I crashed heavily to the floor. Just audible above the shrieky ringing in my ears, was a psychotic, feminine laugh... “surprise!” It was you.
(continued) I trained myself to not care about that feeling. It's just an anxiety reaction... doesn't mean anything. At least, that's how it works with things like weed. I try to avoid things that I can't say for certain are perfectly safe now for that reason, it makes it considerably harder to talk yourself down from panic. The blue lotus gave me lots of bad feelings at first, like all of my organs were failing or something... turns out I just needed to burp, like usual. Of course, I knew that's how it was going to be right from the start, but that doesn't make the ride any less uncomfortable. Pretty much. X) Actually, today I've felt a little stimulation again. I don't think I could handle that level of horniness right now. It'd be too much of a tease... I already feel like I'm getting tired of masturbating, I need something more. >w<
(continued) Oh wow, piracetam only by prescription? :O That's too bad, but at least you can still get it. There are plenty of alternatives too, all of which have varying rates of success from person to person. I've tried aniracetam and that was interesting but not quite for me, it has an anti-anxiety effect that the others seem to be lacking in and also displayed some mildly psychedelic qualities in me. I was able to consciously remove my visual processing while listening to good music and meditating to place myself further into the audio experience. However, it also gave me some brain fog after a couple weeks of using it.... Some people prefer it to piracetam, though. Noopept seems interesting, but I haven't really looked into it much before. I've heard good things about drugs that raise BDNF before so it seems like it'd be worth a shot. And I've used piracetam with weed before, it didn't really help with memory but it did make it more like I was a newbie stoner again.
Well, I'm pretty immobile after I orgasm too, but that doesn't mean I don't want to cuddle. Interestingly, in addition to prolactin, dopamine is also inversely correlated with serotonin. Girls normally have much higher serotonin levels than guys (and vice-versa for dopamine), so that possibly has something to do with the MDMA feelings - our serotonin receptors are probably activated to a significant enough degree to create the bonding effects while yours aren't so much. It's definitely powerful... much cleaner and purer than the chemical feel of MDMA, a sort of blinding euphoria in the sense that I'd bet a strong enough orgasm could temporarily fool me into thinking I was in love in the same way that MDMA can (and has), it's all-encompassing. I look forward to experiencing it more often some day. >w<
(continued) lol, ey, mine ain't that bad when I'm sober. No way. And on alcohol, the artifacts barely change from when sober. Sounds like an awesome visual display though. Every time I've smoked some herbs, usually a mixture, then visually it's all cool and wonderful. But then it's always accompanied by a feeling of dread and heaviness. Not good. Do you not get that? Asexual? ;o Assume you've no dopamine receptors left now? Haha. Ya, I'm sure sexual abstinence and no weed will bring about your sensitivity again. Imagine if you abstained for two weeks, and once your sensitivity returned, you smoked too.... X_X Epic horniness?
