Thread: Unsettling dreams for 15 months ongoing

Hello, DV members. I'm hoping to get some feedback and thoughts on the unsettling dreams I've been having fairly consistently for the past 15 months ongoing.
A little background one me: -as I've stated in my introduction post I am new to DV's but I am not new to lucid dreaming. I've been lucid dreaming for about 4 years, but have gotten more serious about it in the past two years. I like to analyze my dreams because I believe they are messages from the subconscious and typically observe my dreams when lucid because I want to hear what my subconscious has to say.
I'm a 17 year old girl and a senior in high school preparing for college.

15 months ago (the exact date is August 3, 2013) I had an unsettling dream from what seemed to be out of nowhere. [Some people may consider such a nightmare, I however, have a narrower definition of 'nightmare' and prefer to call these dreams I've been having unsettling.] A young girl cut a tally of five on my shoulder with a very sharp knife. It was extremely vivid and painful to me, as most the unsettling dreams are. I woke quite confused, and shaky because it scared me and really hurt. [I've never been able to deduct a clear meaning from this dream, though I'm not necessarily looking for an analysis of this as it's not the purpose of this post.]
The unsettling dreams have not stopped since this night; though they were kinda slow at the end of 2013-and I don't have these dreams every night-, they really picked up in frequency by January 2014 where 83% of my recall was something I considered unsettling [I've run some numbers and percents to analyze this entire series I've dubbed "the storm" due to the heavy symbolism and development of storms and rain in these dreams]
As I've stated, these dreams are typically physically painful for me and usually provoke some kind of emotional response. I've been burned, cut, dissolved in acid, stabbed with syringes, chased and attacked by beasts, bitten by snakes, eaten alive, shot, watched those I love suffer, had some terrible dental work, been crushed- and goodness it goes on...many of the dreams involve psychological aspects that bring me to tears, but if I were to share and explain everything, this post would be several pages long and I'm not looking for individual interpretations...

I do have very vivid dreams, and the pain persists into waking life many times. In many cases, thinking about the pain in the dream will awaken what feels like real pain to me in the associated area. For example, once I was stabbed in the left forearm with a syringe, and now thinking about it makes my left arm hurt. [I realize this pain is likely psychologically induced, yet it is real enough to me...]
Some of these dreams have affected me so much that I've developed bad emotional responses to things in reality. I used to not have problems with syringes and injections, but now I panic every time I have to get a shot; same with going to the dentist. I'm just constantly reminded of these bad dreams and they shake me up a bit sometimes.

I've been searching for the meaning of this "storm" and I think I'm coming to the conclusion that the unsettling dreams are induced by stress and are part of my subconscious' uncontrollable reaction to this stress. The past 15 months have been characterized by academic pressures as I am taking college level classes on a high school schedule and have lofty expectations to meet. My mother pressures me about my schoolwork and multiplies the stress. The unsettling dreams calmed slightly over the summer, when I did not have to worry about school work, but picked up again this most recent August (the beginning of the school year) where 43% of my recall was unsettling.

To get to the bottom line of this post:
I've been trying to use these unsettling dreams to my advantage and include them in my mantras when I go to bed, reminding myself to do a reality check if I'm scared or in pain and the like. However, since these dreams are so realistic and intense, I often don't have the mind to do a reality check. I think I've been getting a bit better at catching these red flags of fear and pain as a dream sign, though often times I am unable to stop or prevent the unsettling aspect from occurring and I wake myself up because I'm scared -Is this cowardly?
Does anyone have advice on how to cope with these dreams? they shake me even now thinking about them. They just have such a magnitude for me because I-like other people here on DV's- consider my dreams very important. Every other place I read about coping with bad dreams starts with the same thing: "(don't forget!) Dreams aren't real" -I can't even begin to agree with that statement...
Do you think stress could be the (at least main) cause, or do you think it's something else- what are other factors of long term bad dreams? I've been trying to manage my stress, but I've just always got so much schoolwork to think about and A's to keep...
This isn't typical is it? Does anyone else suffer high percentages of unsettling dreams? What do you do to cope?

Thanks to anyone who reads this wall of text, I really really appreciate it.
Please share your thought, stories, or advice.

often times I am unable to stop or prevent the unsettling aspect from occurring and I wake myself up because I'm scared -Is this cowardly?

First of all, If you're unable to stop these events from happening within a dream while lucid, all the while KNOWING you have the ability to stop these things from carrying on and not confronting them, then yes, I'm afraid so. To me, that is lacking courage and would be considered rather cowardly of you. It wouldn't be any reason to think any less of yourself, as facing fears and things such as you've described is quite hard. I have personal experience with facing fears head on as well, and backing down because I've thought I was unable to overcome it. However, that being said, If you are not lucid and it is not your 'concious' decision to wake up and get away from the aspect which is disturbing you, then that's quite alright, I get that. It is a habit, and it's even whittled into our human nature to try and escape a disturbing happening, it's 100% natural. It can be considered cowardly, yes, but I believe that if you were capable of defending yourself from these things, and fully equipped mentally, you would give it your best shot. At least, I hope you would. That would be showing a massive amount of courage, As that would be the only way to truly get face-to-face with these dreams, and put and end to them.

Does anyone have advice on how to cope with these dreams?

I do, and I'm sure many others here at DV would too. Hearing "Dreams aren't real" over and over does get a little annoying, but you should be able to agree with that. As it's fact. Dreams aren't real here in the waking world. However, their psychological effects are. Those are extremely prevalent and real. For example, The mental impact from a dream where someone is being slaughtered in front of a person *should* at the very least, leave something like 50% of the mental impact on that person as if they had experienced it in their waking life. It's disturbing even once they wake up and realize it was only a dream, and it may even impact them for the rest of their life to some extent, just as it may if they had seen it in real life. They may not have truly seen a life being taken in front of them, which is a little more intense within real life than within a dream, however you are still able to take the same thoughts and feelings away from the experience if even a little dulled. Removing ourselves from that rather gruesome example though, there's a couple ways to 'cope' with these dreams I can mention - if not completely get rid of them.

I think it quite smart of you that since you have prior experience with lucid dreaming, you've tried to use these dreams to your advantage, incorporate and recognize the signs within them - Using these as a tool to in-turn gain lucidity. Although doing this is very tactile and smart, it seems rather futile to me if you are not then using that lucidity to your advantage. You MUST begin to even just try and confront these things when they happen. For instance, If your dream sign works whilst getting some bad dental work again, making you lucid, stop the dentist in his tracks. Say to him something like: "Where in the hell did you learn this trade?? You suck, this is the worst dental work I've ever received! Would you like me to show you how it feels?". Doing something like that, or even trying to do something like that, would be giving you some experience with controlling these dreams and heading them into a new, better direction. Now, with that certain example it could lead to you getting a little malicious with your dentist.. so try to refrain from becoming the bad guy . In any case though, there's always going to be a way that you can turn a bad situation into at the very least; a tolerable one.

I also suggest this to just about everyone for various reasons.. meditation. Everyone has some level of stress, and while having a low level of stress can actually be beneficial to some people, ridding yourself of all stresses before you go to bed is always a good idea, especially with those who have stress in abundance, as that is very unhealthy physically and mentally. There's many techniques you can use, some of which will work better than others, but every single one is going to release you of your stress, and cleans your mind of worries if applied correctly. You should be going to bed with a clear mind, not worrying about having another dream that's going to unsettle you. This IMO would be the best way of going about acting against these dreams.

Do you think stress could be the (at least main) cause, or do you think it's something else- what are other factors of long term bad dreams?

Now I can't state facts as to what are all the factors of long term bad dreams, but I will say with confidence that fear, and stress due to fear is going to almost always produce long term bad dreams. Combined with overall stress from school, family, and other relationships/aspects of reality too, one's subconscious will become quite clouded with many different thoughts, procrastinations and will tend to adopt a cloudy, dark nature to it. This in-turn produces some pretty obscure and unwanted dreams for us to experience. There's not much you can immediately do to rid yourself of your daily stresses on the spot. However like said above, Meditation can become a great tool of yours. Also, if at all possible, don't strain yourself, but see if you can get a little ahead with your studies. It sucks to be JUST making deadlines, skimming by on a little luck since you're overwhelmed with everything else. This produces a lot of stress for me, so as a combatant I work ahead. I get a great deal of relaxation in the fact that if I wanted to slack a little, I could totally do it and still be making deadlines. Also if you don't do this already, try to laugh! Find humour where ever possible, even if it's a little retarded, lol. Laughing and having fun is a great way to give yourself at the very least a little relaxation and prolonged happiness in the back of your mind.

I would love to continue and extend this post even further, but it's getting rather long, and rather late for me too. So, as a quick response to your last couple questions I'll have to say that; Very long term dreams usually aren't THAT typical, at least in my experiences. Usually people will be able to rid themselves of them within a few months or so, but that's only because acting quick is how they were able to do it. For me too, I was only able to rid myself of my unwanted dreaming patterns because I acted quickly, I altered my state of mind and acted against them rather than letting them have a huge negative impact on me.

Anyways, a wall of text for you.. in return for yours for the readers

I hope this helps at least a little!

Ah- thank you for your time and feedback, it means a lot.
You seem quite experienced with the subject, or at least informed.

I need to work on control I believe. When I was a beginner I often used the world as a ‘sandbox’ and for recreation. My control was something I would consider good, but I’ve stopped exercising that strong control in the past two years as I prefer to observe my dreams while lucid. Perhaps I’m a bit out of shape in that aspect. Next time I will try harder to exert my will, thank you for your suggestions.
I suppose the “Dreams aren’t real” thing mostly irks me because when it’s said it will come across as “Dreams don’t matter.” After being at it so long, in such a vivid world, it’s as real to me as this one. I agree about the psychological impact occurrences in dreams can have. Syringes are a no-go for me now; I used to not have such a problem with them, but they just evoke a terrible response in me now. I wish it wasn’t the case.
I will make the best effort I can to utilize lucidity at those instances when I find myself aware in an unsettling dream. I’ll have to try implementing humor like that hahaha, thank you for that advice.
Meditation…now that’s an idea…a while ago I considered trying that, but I suppose I kind of forgot about it with everything in ‘reality’ going on. Do you have a preferred method? I think I will try that soon. I think my friend used to meditate, I will ask him about it as well.

I've defiantly considered other factors other than stress that may contribute to the unsettling dreams and have other theories about it, but it seems as if stress appears to be the most likely thing to me. I’ve been looking at the frequency of unsettling dreams in my recall and it seems the higher percentages correlate with the most stressful times in the past 15 months. The time around my exams and most heavy school pressure have higher percentages than the more relaxed summer months.
Procrastination is not an option for me, and I manage my time well. I always work ahead so schoolwork doesn’t pile up, but it seems like there’s always so much to do. Thankfully it’s not too overwhelming in the aspect that I’m not staying up late working on a project due the next day, but I often times work for about 5 hours after I get home from school before I shower and prepare for bed.

Luckily I have fantastic friends who make me laugh almost every day (yeah and we are mostly doing retarded things that make us laugh anyway. Today it was my friend’s impersonation of Bill Cosby xD).Thankfully I am with an amazing person that offers their attention and support to me with all this, I don’t know what I would do without him…
Anyway...
I'm sorry xD I didn't mean to write such a wall with the first post, because I know it deters people from reading, but I wanted to be thorough enough to avoid confusion. Thank you so much for your feedback and advice, it means a lot because I was quite scared that I would get no replies.

Do you have a preferred method?

No, not really to be honest. There's various types of meditation techniques - Buddhist, Daoist, Hindu, etc, and while they all aren't exactly the same, or have the same direct goal, they all still have the ability of putting you into a meditative state to which you can allow you mind and body to rid themselves of stresses, worries, and anything else that can prove to be unhealthy for them. I personally take a couple different aspects from different meditation techniques I find, and mend then them together basically, producing one that works ultimately the best in what direction I want to head the meditation in. All the while adding my own techniques to personalize it a little. However, If I had to choose a preferred 'set' method, it would probably be a method of Taoist origin. Energy guidance and creating an awareness that is intended to project inwards completely undistracted or hindered by external factors, thus producing insightful and calm thinking - Is the 'gist' of Tao meditation, which is why I quite like it.

Anyways, I'd suggest that you indeed do go talk to your friend, see how he meditates and ask him how/if It has helped him at all. Also, If I were you, I would begin searching around for different techniques and trying them out for a few days at a time to see if they work good for you.

To start you off, I'll provide a link for Taoist meditation techniques
Meditation, Taoist Meditation Steps, Meditation Techniques

Originally Posted by Splash8

To get to the bottom line of this post:
I've been trying to use these unsettling dreams to my advantage and include them in my mantras when I go to bed, reminding myself to do a reality check if I'm scared or in pain and the like. However, since these dreams are so realistic and intense, I often don't have the mind to do a reality check. I think I've been getting a bit better at catching these red flags of fear and pain as a dream sign, though often times I am unable to stop or prevent the unsettling aspect from occurring and I wake myself up because I'm scared -Is this cowardly?

In my opinion, no it is not. Robert Waggoner, a well-known expert on lucid dreaming, says "a sailor can't control the sea." Meaning, even if you are lucid you may not be able to control every aspect of every dream. Not all dreams are made equal. Some are easier than others. I've had thousands and thousands of lucid dreams where I flew. And you know what? A few times, I haven't been able to fly in a lucid or I'll have trouble flying. It's not as simple as being lucid and having total confidence. I think dreams are much more complex than that.

Having said that, because you are having these intense and painful dreams so often, I don't think waking yourself up every time is a long-term solution. Otherwise, they will just keep happening. When there's a terrible dream or dream adversary, sometimes the best route isn't to just control the dream and/or make it a carebear ending by force, and/or destroy the thing that confronts you. It's there for a reason. Try asking the dream or the dream adversary, "who are you? what are you trying to tell me? why are you doing this? what do you represent?"

Some people have tried this approach with recurring nightmares like yours, and once they confronted the dream this way, the issues were resolved and the nightmares went away.

Originally Posted by Splash8

Does anyone have advice on how to cope with these dreams? they shake me even now thinking about them. They just have such a magnitude for me because I-like other people here on DV's- consider my dreams very important. Every other place I read about coping with bad dreams starts with the same thing: "(don't forget!) Dreams aren't real" -I can't even begin to agree with that statement...

I relate to you very much because I have also had painful dreams or nightmares that affected me even in waking. Keeping a dream journal helped me. It was a kind of therapy. And also, having people to talk to without having them judge me. People who don't have a knee-jerk reaction of "they're just dreams, so they shouldn't bother you," or people who don't get mad at you for not magically fixing it with dream control. If you wish, you're welcome to PM me anytime to talk about it.

Originally Posted by Splash8

Do you think stress could be the (at least main) cause, or do you think it's something else- what are other factors of long term bad dreams? I've been trying to manage my stress, but I've just always got so much schoolwork to think about and A's to keep...
This isn't typical is it? Does anyone else suffer high percentages of unsettling dreams? What do you do to cope?

Lucid nightmares are unusual, yes. When someone has intense nightmares or PTSD related nightmares, lucid dreaming is normally the best way to deal with that. Being lucid and having dream control are not the same thing, contrary to popular belief. It's possible to have one without the other. They just typically go together. I have read at least one scientific study about lucid nightmares. Trust me, you are not alone in your experience, and it doesn't necessarily reflect upon your skills as a lucid dreamer. It's not black and white like that.

Your nightmares may have something to do with your daily life, some kind of stress or other situation that is bothering you. But maybe not. I think it's important to try to investigate within the dream to find your own answers. As traumatic as these dreams are, there is probably some meaning or reason for them, and you are the only person who can find that out.

I had this powerful DC that was always causing me pain and suffering and generally ruining my lucid dreams, back when I first started to LD nightly. I was at odds with him for years. Eventually I stopped trying to kill him, after a few hundred failed attempts, and I tried talking to him instead, asking him what the hell he wanted. It still took a long time for us to see eye-to-eye, but the end result was having a dream guide (or spirit guide if you believe in that) who has been an invaluable resource in my dreams as well as giving me guidance and wisdom in my waking life. In other words, the more terrifying and powerful adversary you've got, the more potential there is for a great and powerful ally.