so here`s a pretty random, yet a meaningful question, which all of you might ask at least one time in your life

I`m not a newbie, matter of fact is I`ve been doing self-help stuff for years

it helped me a lot, with my confidence, relationships, health, finances and so on

I`ve read and done all the major stuff, that`s out there, including hypnosis, to change myself for the better

and even though I do meditation on a daily basis, I`m still lost when it comes to my main purpose, as well as my core identity

when I was a kid, I was hurt really badly and to become even, I chose to be a person, that was immune to that sort of vulnerabilty

lots of years have passed since than and as I transformed myself I became somebody powerful, until I lost almost all and realized it was an illusion, comparing myself to an image that never was, while making faces into a bent mirror

so the main question is:

WTF SHOULD I DO NOW?

HOW DO I FIND OUT WTF I`M SUPPOSED TO BE DOING?


ps: I`ve been through a lot in my life, so pls no woo-woo stuff, like just rest with your wiener in your hand, because the universe shall throw the answer at you, okay ... and yes I`m well aware that this forum is about lucid dreaming, which means that I should wait for some "dream guide" to tell it to me in my sleep, that might happen or not, I`m looking for something more pragmatic pls