Thread: If you could call God on the phone

Originally Posted by Rakjavik

"God, why do you hate homosexuals,fornicators,other people's beliefs, sodomy, masturbation, sex in general, babies (from other tribes), foreskin, and overall the whole human race (hell,flood)"

There's my question..... get the point Tarsier?

I second that; religious people should take the log out of their own eye when telling atheists they are spreading hate.

Originally Posted by Needcatscan

I second that; religious people should take the log out of their own eye when telling atheists they are spreading hate.

Not all religious people think that way.

"Can you hear me now?"

Originally Posted by Tarsier

It's a fun question, and like the rest of the people here I would expect whether or not they believe in a God they would answer (as if there was a God) rather than being dicks and trying to spread their hate and try to diss other people's beliefs. But whatever.

Do you hear the siren? That's the hyperbole police coming to take you away, and lock you up in the exaggeration cell.

I just saw a bunch of people trying to be funny. No hate, sorry.


This topic hasn't much space to elaborate on anyway:

- Hi, I'm "god"!
- Which "god"?
- [blahblah].
- Oh ok, but how do I know it's really you?
- Errr....
- And how come you allow [blahblah] to happen? And why is it that [blahblah]?
- Errr.... gotta go. *hangs up*

Originally Posted by Needcatscan

I second that; religious people should take the log out of their own eye when telling atheists they are spreading hate.

It goes both ways. Period. All Tar wants is a thread where people can have fun. So come on, can you just give him that?

Anyway, I think I'd ask him he can make me speak both English and Japanese. (fluent Japanese. ) Then I'd ask him if......OH!!! If he could give me the power to Lucid Dream every night!!! Of course, there are more important things I would ask him too, like is there a way to achieve World Peace, and the like.

I would ask him if seeing as he is everybodys father and theres no apparent mama, if he is indeed a hemaphrodite.

I would ask him "Why are we using phones?"

Originally Posted by marlie

I would ask him if seeing as he is everybodys father and theres no apparent mama, if he is indeed a hemaphrodite.

I'd think he's more like a super duper asexual person.

I would ask him to impregnate me.

Hey GOD it's me, yeah me Elise!!!
So question,
Um how the fuck do you think you are, sending me to hell?????

I would ask him what a clever thing would be to ask him.

I would ask him what type of phone he is using..

I wouldn't. I would feel like an asshole wasting his time while others could be asking something important.




Saint-like answer hoo!
>.>
<.<

Originally Posted by Xox

I would ask him what a clever thing would be to ask him.

Ha, I like this one!!!

Id ask him if he could indeed create a boulder so heavy he couldnt lift it!

You can always call God on the phone. Nothing special.

I would say something along the lines of...

"Oh yeah?! You think you're SO DAMN OMNIPOTENT."

"YA"

"YA?! I bet you don't have the balls to destroy all of everything ever!!"

"OH YEA-"

"..."

"..."

Which God are you and how can you prove it?

"Okay, listen up, bitch, either you make my aunt's chemotherapy successful, or me and Satan will come up there and beat your ass! Which one's it gonna be?"

I like that simpsons thing or whatever it was..."Listen up God you either do what I ask or Satan's got a new errand boy"

I would ask him why he has the audacity to be so nonexistent.

http://lyricwiki.org/Pain_Of_Salvation:Vocari_Dei

I'd be like:

You know them old sugar daddies
They be tricking they tell them girls
I said you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like
Yeah

Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah

Anytime you want to pick up the telephone you
know that it ain't nothing to drop a couple stacks on you
If you want it you can get it my dear
5 millions dollars homes drop the business i swear.
Yeah
I want yo body. I need yo body.
As long as you got me you won't need nobody
You want it, i got it. Go get it, I'll buy it
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet

Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah

Shawty you the hottest. Love the way you drop it.
Brain so good could've sworn you went to college.
Honey cant deposit. Vacations in the tropics
And everybody know it ain't tricking if you got it
You ain't never ever gotta go in yo wallet.
Long as i got rubberband banks in my pocket.
5 6 rides wit rims and a body kit.
You ain't gotta downgrade you can get what i get
My chick can have what she want.
And go in any store for any bag she wants.
She ain't never had a man like that.
To buy you anything your heart desire like that.
I want yo body, I need yo body.
Long as you got me, you won't need nobody.
You want it, i got it. Go get it, I'll buy it.
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet.

Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah

Talk big boy rides & big boy ice
Let me put this big boy in yo life.
That thing get so wet & get so right
Let me put this big boy in yo life. that's right.
I want yo body, I need yo body.
Long as you got me, you won't need nobody.
You want it, i got it. Go get it, I'll buy it.
Tell them other broke niggas be quiet.

Stacks on deck. Patron on ice.
We can pop bottles all night
Baby you can have whatever you like
I said you can have whatever you like.
Yeah
Late night sex so wet and so tight.
I'll gas up the jet for you tonight and baby you can go wherever you like
I said you can go wherever you like
Yeah