Thread: My best friend. Very religious. I'm getting annoyed now. Halp?

Tell her that you're an atheist.

She'll f-ing think my soul is in danger, and plus she'll be really sad. I'd rather not.

disown

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

She'll f-ing think my soul is in danger, and plus she'll be really sad. I'd rather not.

Tell her to choose between the invisible man and your friendship.

I would probably say that I'm an atheist and if she freaked, I'd stand my ground and remind her that I'm entitled to my own opinion and view of the world. Besides, God gave us free will, right? So we're exercising that free will by being atheists. :]

I would also remind her that I would still be open to having a friendship on the condition that she doesn't try to force me back into her religion.

This is similar to my own situation, sort of. A friend of mine has a girlfriend that is very religious, and she has a friend that is a religio-nut that is a psycho-bitch. Fortunately his girlfriend doesn't get concerned in other people's beliefs (I think).

You're right, I just need to stand my ground. Be firm but gentle. Otherwise this won't stop. Do they think they're on some holy mission or something, trying to convert other people?

Do they think they're on some holy mission or something, trying to convert other people?

Some do. Others also think they're doing the others a favour. And some are just insecure and want more people to believe what they believe; there's safety in numbers.

It sounds as if your friend is well-meaning and therefore in category number 2.

Stand up for yourself, you don't have to be rude. Also try pointing out that atheists do plenty of good things because they believe it's right to do them, not out of fear, and that being sent to hell for disbelief is arguably the most unjust thing possible.

(Pre-empting the same old tired arguments: not believing in a god does not mean you are not able to love that god, have a relationship with that god etc, it simply means you don't believe in that being's existence. Also, your god does choose to send a person to hell in the same sense that a prisoner may have knowingly committed a crime (or 'crime') but didn't choose to be executed by electric chair. Oh and people can't consciously decide what they believe.

PS: Fuck you and your hell crap!)

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

You're right, I just need to stand my ground. Be firm but gentle. Otherwise this won't stop. Do they think they're on some holy mission or something, trying to convert other people?

Do not make her choose between you and god, but make sure she knows how you feel about the subject. Make sure she knows that you would still like to be friends even though you don't share the same belief and that you hope she will come to the same conclusion and respect how you feel. You shouldn't just put up with her trying to convert you though, because all that says is that she isn't really friends with you for who you are, but rather because of who she wants you to be. If she can't accept you, then she isn't a good friend, nor is she a good christian anyway. You may remind her that the bible teaches acceptance, and that only god can be a judge.

It's a hard choice; I would tend to agree with telling her your an atheist and if she freaks and doesn't want to be friends anymore then she wasn't a good friend to begin with. But that's easier said over the Internet by someone who's not in that position.

Good luck, let us know what you do and how it turns out.

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

My best friend is bringing up the issue of me not going to church more and more these days. Now, let's look at me for a minute. I'm a kind and giving person, I don't break laws, I'm happy, I'm strong, and I don't have enough time for church. Why on earth should I go, then??

I love my friend, but everyone has noticed that she has gotten weaker and weaker the more religious she has become. She depends on god so much now that she thinks that no one could possibly help her when she has a problem... other than god.

I didn't tell her that I'm an atheist, but I've been gently telling her that I'm "not very religious." And now her religious nut of a friend (the kind that cries at every service because she loves Jesus but is a complete psycho bitch to everyone around her) is trying to shove me into a church too.

WHY do people do this kind of thing? Okay. If I was depressed, lonely, suicidal... then fine, maybe I'd find church useful. But COME ON.

Anyone been in a similar situation? What to do??

A situation I can relate very well to. I come from a deeply religious family. My family holds high positions in the churches so yeah...I definitely know where you're coming from. My cousin would constantly (and still does) minister to me about Jesus etc. and I used to get pretty annoyed with him. I'm not annoyed with him (as much) today and I listen to him because I know his heart is in the right place. He is only loving me the best way he knows how and the best way he was taught/raised. He strongly believes that salvation comes through Jesus Christ and therefore the best way he can help me in life is by making sure I understand that. He's coming from a position of love, not a position of "Let me annoy him today". If you understand that about your friend perhaps your heart will soften as well.

Newton said that "An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted on by an external force." So until something comes along to shatter your friends religious beliefs, this will undoubtedly continue. You telling them to stop (because it annoys you) will be interpreted by your friend as you telling him/her not to love you the only way they know how.

It's much easier to listen to your friend when you fully understand their motives. Your friend genuinely cares about you and about where your soul will end up. Whether you share your friends religious beliefs or not, if your friend didn't care about you at all, he/she would not bring it up to you...at all.

Jesus didn't go to church...

Originally Posted by ChaybaChayba

Jesus didn't go to church...

You're right, he went to temple.

Originally Posted by ChaybaChayba

Jesus didn't go to church...

No, but he attended temple. And he wasn't a christian either.

Originally Posted by hungrymanz

disown

best advice

As someone has posted before, don't make her choose between you and God because I can gaurentee that she will choose God. I wouldn't even tell her that your an atheist because one of two things will hapen, she'll either ditch you for your 'bad' influence or intensify her efforts. Just tell her that you appreiciate her concern. Be firm but gentle.

I believe in honesty

I don't think your relationship with this friend can last or go anywhere if you are not open and honest about your beliefs or lack of there of

or you can make the argument that you are against organized religion. I'm pretty convinced Jesus himself did not care to start an organized religion, but a personal individual spiritual path

Matthew 23:8
“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi’, for you only have one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father’, for you only have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ‘teacher’, for you only have one Teacher, the Christ.”

lik most have said, just talk to her, if she is a true friend, she will listen.

i myself am a christian but i wouldn't disown friends because of their religion or non belief. i would not force them either. nor would i want them to try to force me either. so i think maybe she shoul understand.

Scream at him.


DESTRUCTION TERROR!!!!!

Originally Posted by Jeff777

A situation I can relate very well to. I come from a deeply religious family. My family holds high positions in the churches so yeah...I definitely know where you're coming from. My cousin would constantly (and still does) minister to me about Jesus etc. and I used to get pretty annoyed with him. I'm not annoyed with him (as much) today and I listen to him because I know his heart is in the right place. He is only loving me the best way he knows how and the best way he was taught/raised. He strongly believes that salvation comes through Jesus Christ and therefore the best way he can help me in life is by making sure I understand that. He's coming from a position of love, not a position of "Let me annoy him today". If you understand that about your friend perhaps your heart will soften as well.

Newton said that "An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted on by an external force." So until something comes along to shatter your friends religious beliefs, this will undoubtedly continue. You telling them to stop (because it annoys you) will be interpreted by your friend as you telling him/her not to love you the only way they know how.

It's much easier to listen to your friend when you fully understand their motives. Your friend genuinely cares about you and about where your soul will end up. Whether you share your friends religious beliefs or not, if your friend didn't care about you at all, he/she would not bring it up to you...at all.

nicely said

I am more likely to find myself on the other side of this problem, being a rather hardcore (if not "traditional") Christian myself, but I understand where you are coming from.

I don't believe that God punishes people for disbelief either, but I do believe he punishes people that delude themselves. Therefore, my advice to you depends on whether or not you truely believe God is a work of fiction. If the very idea of God's existence seems contradictory to you, every idea that supposedly points God's existence appears absolutely absurd, and you don't feel even the slightest pull at your heart to even want to believe in God, then gently let your friend know how you feel and hope that she will leave well enough alone. Otherwise, consider what she says.

As for your friend's growing weakness, remind her that God often works through others, and Matthew 25:40 (KJV) goes in reverse too.

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

My best friend is bringing up the issue of me not going to church more and more these days. Now, let's look at me for a minute. I'm a kind and giving person, I don't break laws, I'm happy, I'm strong, and I don't have enough time for church. Why on earth should I go, then??

I love my friend, but everyone has noticed that she has gotten weaker and weaker the more religious she has become. She depends on god so much now that she thinks that no one could possibly help her when she has a problem... other than god.

I didn't tell her that I'm an atheist, but I've been gently telling her that I'm "not very religious." And now her religious nut of a friend (the kind that cries at every service because she loves Jesus but is a complete psycho bitch to everyone around her) is trying to shove me into a church too.

WHY do people do this kind of thing? Okay. If I was depressed, lonely, suicidal... then fine, maybe I'd find church useful. But COME ON.

Anyone been in a similar situation? What to do??

She just wants you to drink the Kool-Aid with her, is all

Just don't. Or, tell her you're atheist, and thus are exempt from paying attention to those kinds of things, do not need to, and in fact cannot attend a church, and just really aren't up to the whole Omni-Everything Zombie worship type thing that she is.

Tell her you are an atheist and give her a copy of The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins.

ok, I usually wouldn't recommend this, but have her blaze a joint.

it may free her, or it may cause her to become even more overly-religious.

it's a double-edged sword, the choice is yours