A written abstract journal

[Howie]

What the hell happened to it. #@*!(~~!!! Was I dreaming or did I just waste an hour for nothing?!

[Howie]

The Idea> To relax and meditate until you have random thoughts in your head. No noises no interruptions I am not going to focus on any particular thought. I will not think about what I am thinking. Just write! The draw backs are that I cannot type well and I have to keep my eyes open to do so. What I did when I reached the state of consciousness I was after was to just give a blank stare at the monitor and let the thoughts flow. The outcome> Hopefully upon looking back at what I wrote I may be able to extract some useful information much like you would from hypnagogic imagery. I do not remember what I wrote except Rodney, my neighbor and well actually i don't know. 5:50 AM [It took little time to get hypnopompic thoughts. Since it is so early I am close to sleep now.] Yesterday was probably not the best environment. Although I was lacking sleep it took too long to get into a hynagogia state. Start to wonder when that does happen why it is acircadian clock or who knows so many variables to everything. Yet the world Sometimes i wonder if these changes will occur soon or if it is a bigjoke to osme a person may beleive byt a struggle for whatahhit, hwat is that word. putting in to perspctive everything woulf be the key to jimmy what is his last name ans he snowboards what a life hehas the Doctor house is not a brit no way he can [time is up] This is my second attempt. Yesterdays was lost somehow. But I have already learned to tweak a few things. I put the limit up to five minutes rather than the initial three minutes You can modify anyway you wish, write as long as you want etc. Let me know if anything comes out of your try. Outcome. Funny thing is I did not even mention my neighbor as I thought. The rest is a bunch of random BS. I think I was referring to my neighbors selling the house. Certainly no epiphanies. Maybe next time.

[NonDualistic]

The Idea> To relax and meditate until you have random thoughts in your head. No noises no interruptions I am not going to focus on any particular thought. I will not think about what I am thinking. Just write! The draw backs are that I cannot type well and I have to keep my eyes open to do so. What I did when I reached the state of consciousness I was after was to just give a blank stare at the monitor and let the thoughts flow. sleep it took too long to get into a hynagogia state. [/color] Howie, this had me contemplating all afternoon while at work. I have written pages of material , letters to editors of local papers, and much of a 40-50 pages of "dharma" writing or notes, using much the same idea or method you outline above. What I usually end up doing is writing and then going back and just "cleaning up" what was written. Sometimes I feel astonished at what I wrote, as if it were someone elses work I was reading. I havnt written much in the last few months, been preoccupied with other things. Today, prompted by this thread of yours, I watched my mind all afternoon. Looked to see what arose and where it came from. Seems when I clear my mind in meditation, its not so much cleaint the mind as it is letting go of it, hence no thoughts arise. Then I noticed that If I engage the mind and meditate on an opening thought, that is when more arises on/from the mind. I also noticed that when the opening thought is of a memory, or placed on some future context, its as if the flood gates open and all sorts of thoughts arise. Mostly memories and then variations off of them. Its like getting lost in a maze to follow them. Getting out means disengaging the mind and returning to the awareness of the moment. Ones breathing, or what is seen around oneself. Very interesting and valuable observations. Much to explore here. I have more to say, but need to dwell on it some more first.....well, One thing was a question as to whether the thoughts arising are truly random? Even the liittle tid bits that arose in my previous post above, seemed sponsored or primed by a thought of watching to see what thoughts arise.

[Howie]

Howie, this had me contemplating all afternoon while at work. I have written pages of material , letters to editors of local papers, and much of a 40-50 pages of "dharma" writing or notes, using much the same idea or method you outline above. What I usually end up doing is writing and then going back and just "cleaning up" what was written. Sometimes I feel astonished at what I wrote, as if it were someone elses work I was reading. I havnt written much in the last few months, been preoccupied with other things. Today, prompted by this thread of yours, I watched my mind all afternoon. Looked to see what arose and where it came from. Seems when I clear my mind in meditation, its not so much cleaint the mind as it is letting go of it, hence no thoughts arise. Then I noticed that If I engage the mind and meditate on an opening thought, that is when more arises on/from the mind. I also noticed that when the opening thought is of a memory, or placed on some future context, its as if the flood gates open and all sorts of thoughts arise. Mostly memories and then variations off of them. Its like getting lost in a maze to follow them. Getting out means disengaging the mind and returning to the awareness of the moment. Ones breathing, or what is seen around oneself. Very interesting and valuable observations. Much to explore here. I have more to say, but need to dwell on it some more first.....well, One thing was a question as to whether the thoughts arising are truly random? Even the liittle tid bits that arose in my previous post above, seemed sponsored or primed by a thought of watching to see what thoughts arise. Thanks for your input ND. An interesting take and thoughts on the entire concept. Sorry to respond so late. Responding late to this thread in part has some implications to your question. Are they random thoughts? I don't rightfully know. I don't know if any thoughts are random in a pure sense of the word. One reason I only post in this journal on random occasions is because is does take a certain mind frame, for me at least. As described in earlier posts, I have to be in a meditative state for my thoughts to "flow", as you put it. To do it otherwise and labor over thought itself takes a more cognitive direction that I'm trying to steer away from. Random, fleeting thoughts. Also I too am very surprised at what is written as I go back and look at what I have posted. Though I can usually associate freely many of the written thoughts together to form some underlying thoughts and feelings. Have you had time to dwell on your thoughts? True thoughtless consciousness, flow and pure awareness would be an amazing step for me personally. Because I have obtained this...lack of thought on rare occasions I know what it is like but have yet found away to tap into it on my own will through meditative techniques or other methods. At least I know it IS there to achieve - consciousness in pure form. A free mind unconditioned.

[NonDualistic]

Have you had time to dwell on your thoughts? True thoughtless consciousness, flow and pure awareness would be an amazing step for me personally. Because I have obtained this...lack of thought on rare occasions I know what it is like but have yet found away to tap into it on my own will through meditative techniques or other methods. At least I know it IS there to achieve - consciousness in pure form. A free mind unconditioned. Depends on what thoughts you are referring to I guess. The thoughts that arise as I described above are so in tune with my inner being, or inner perception, feelings , or what have you, that there is no dwelling on those needed. Its like the words that arise are a perfect match for where I am "inside" in that moment that they arise. If when writing I find myself dwelling on what is being written, or having to think of what words to use, I know then and there that I have lost my "meditative connection" to what is "self arising". This is the first time I have really looked at this process, or examined it, so I am just tossing this out as a first impression really, so please forgive any "choppiness" or incongruity. Years ago I had a dream that was very powerful, that left lasting impressions. The main theme left by that dream was a thought or a concept of "thought without words". To this day I am still playing around with this, still dwelling on it. I have found that this premise is related directly to this being able to write in the manner we are talking about. As I said earlier, when I reach a meditative calm in regards to the mind, as if I am watching it, not participating, I then reach out with a thought, no words, mainly feelings and imagery, hard to describe well off hand, but its like I just barely "kiss" the mind with this intent. It seems that this is what primes what arises in the form of words. I realize this may be of little help to you, but thats how I describe it at the moment, off the cuff. Also, I want to state that I have not ever had or sought to have any ordered instruction on meditative practice. I just kind of found my own way and therefore am not hung up on this or that practice or method. I spent alot of time last summer in my garden swing just being there with nature, looking without dividing or differentiating with the mind. That helped to bring about an emptiness in the mind and the beginning of being able to detatch from it, to what is culminating in me now. I'm not sure where it is leading, but I am intent of just following day by day and seeing where it goes. If you read some of the short lined poetic sort of stuff I write that is directed in and around alot of Clouds writing, this is the sort of writing we are talking about. What I have written in the topic on "die to live" in the religion forum is also a product of this here being discussed. Its strange, but I feel so very alive and empowered when I write in this manner. Its as if the writing is alive and this body doing the writing is only a part of its happening. Its as if that which "I am" is centered in the words arising themselves. Very interesting, very strange by comparrison to the usual.

[ClouD]

if i were to again have sex do it feel would i such attachment my barrier these words so deceiving i breathe emotionless apathetic beyond pleasure to bliss emotion sucked to a core nothing. It seems as if it starts out as a few words then trails off towards symbolism for me. This meditative contemplation seems to fold into dream rapidly.

[Howie]

woke up grabbed my hat made the businsecindsflatawwwwawwww mm.jshooey, iwonder if shewould know the diferance eitherway. sithe the cat and the dog will never get along and times up. I think I notted off a bit. ?

[dudesuperior]

Ok then, so i just clear my mind and see where my thoughts go, right? So it beggins....(time limit 5 mins) cogs that are plastic never wander... jelly mingles with haddock that finds it hard to be true... serimonious tree cutting is not right and mechanical bests roam far from the metropolis...denver has the largest population of minks but canada has many moose... ...and time is up. Ok that is random. The dots I put in to represent that I was having no thoughts, if that is possible Most of the sentences I came after images hat were simular to them. I might try this again - I find it this very interesting. Oh and yes, doctor House (Hugh Laurie) is a brit. Here he is in a screenshot from 'Jeeves and Wooster'

[Howie]

That is great dudesuperior. What a good idea about using dots. I too had intervals of space. That will work good. Did you get anything from that? I have not that I can see in mine.

[dudesuperior]

Hmmm... I got nothing from what I thought. Just totallty random, although I have recnety started to eat jelly on a regular basis. Wait a sec, the bit where i said 'serimonious tree cutting is not right and mechanical bests roam far from the metropolis' could be a reflection of my views on the state of rainforest conservation/preservation - the 'mechanical beasts' represtenting the machines used to cut the trees down. The rainforests are often miles away from largecities (the 'metropolis').... just a thought

[Howie]

Originally posted by dudesuperior Hmmm... I got nothing from what I thought. Just totallty random, although I have recnety started to eat jelly on a regular basis. Wait a sec, the bit where i said 'serimonious tree cutting is not right and mechanical bests roam far from the metropolis' could be a reflection of my views on the state of rainforest conservation/preservation - the 'mechanical beasts' represtenting the machines used to cut the trees down. The rainforests are often miles away from largecities (the 'metropolis').... just a thought That is exactly what I am posing to accomplish here. Just has you would with HI. Abstract thoughts. Then put this randomness to the test with the left hemispheres, technical approach of problem solving, could give light to different aspects to things. Keep um coming! Anyone & everyone is welcome to try.

[Howie]

a wriiten color in my mid and to do we have i=t to confine the actual basis is beyond me and it makes or do imake itto difficult to achieve anythinfg desired ....vex and the cat i was there at the pojt I feel like .....lost what i was saying. to go from one thought to another are does it matter if you have two hemisheore working together and it would.... Times up! Damn it. I was zoning. I suggest if you reach a long pause or brake in your thoughts you stop. That whether it be two minutes or something within reason. No time limit. (again within reason )

[dudesuperior]

cheerios go soggy when they are added to milk...jacques cousteau was one of the great leaders of the hunt of the loch ness monster yet the black yellow cat does not use a zimmer frame...melon heads fall down the crevasse to the point of no return... my mind was blank for ages so I stopped. I've got no idea was all that stuff was about

[Howie]

I think or will to have abetter life but it is hard to penetrate pigthick skin but the remote viewing relaevance as a superiour topic is the heavywater for the nucleur it can be the ..........fucking noise is shit when you arealways trying ti do . Started conscious thoughts because of NOISE! Thanks for your participation Dude! I can't see any signs of any kind but I have found it fun and interesting. How long has it taken you before the abstract thought begin to come? If I am not tired I could sit here all day with nothing.

[dudesuperior]

Celibacy among the ordained is not a requirement of those who may...the sea is calling for us when the waves crash into the mangroves... Originally posted by Howetzer Started conscious thoughts because of NOISE! Yeah my dog barked during this try [quote]How long has it taken you before the abstract thought begin to come?If I am not tired I could sit here all day with nothing. I depends on what time of day it is for me. In the middle of the day I could do it for ages and nothing would come. But in the morning and at night the thoughts come quite quickly. But I can find it hard to decide if the thoughts were conscious or not.

[Howie]

I depends on what time of day it is for me. In the middle of the day I could do it for ages and nothing would come. But in the morning and at night the thoughts come quite quickly. But I can find it hard to decide if the thoughts were conscious or not.[/b] I think it happens in a very short moment. But there is a point when you perceive a thought before it arises, making it conscious choice. It is difficult to reach pure HI or thoughts as you do a conscious thing as type. My entries have seemed to be conscious in nature. After I read them. Daily concerns or thoughts from that day.

[Abstract Fire]

Here are mine: Others see what they beleive... dogs yap incessently..... pen lid drawer plastic... fox up tree climbs... The last? I heard some bushes move outside my window. I was very surprised with the first. Hmm. I'll keep that one in mind. Reminds me of the shapes you see in clouds, sometimes only you can see them. Another attempt: Raom fee;s jimgry/// Atte,[ts gp wrpmg/// Nisjes [a;, trees Touchtyping gone wrong... That second one was "Attempts gone wrong", but I don't know what the first was.

[Howie]

aso many things seem to be more than coencedance but to log all if it would be impossible is you can oe cannot have be thinking of two thoughts at a time, if all it is is a concept you can have feelings of more than one no I feel bad for the neighbor yet envy certain things as well the mind is fucked up as i hearrd the buss go by that was inmy dream last night i missed itand I yelled out Brings about a good question. Can you feel more than one emotion simultaeously?

[Abstract Fire]

I feel angry and sad at the same time, but usually one's dominant, it's not 50/50, if you know what I mean.

[Aeiis]

the words flow freely not knowing what to type useless babble coming from me like water from a faucett deos any of this make snese tales of god and of man the turth be told i will never nderstand any of it death will take me first what is thsi what is this i said it twice i just keeep going angels will soar the evangellist speaks yet robs from the poor and it doesnt matter anyway i just do it and do it forver here it goes ally here it goes down at it around nonsense anyway flows flows water stream from the falls it comes down like a lake water particles biology test gonna fail it already did take it backd o what you should have the first time..... wowzer. maybe i was doing it wrong, seems way to coherent.

[Howie]

I know that I began this with the attempt to extract meaning out of these entry. And maybe you have. But I must admit. It is damn funny to read these. If nothing else, it is fun.

[dudesuperior]

Potato slices through the weeds and makes a surprise... beams reminiscent to that of the ancient ones... the coelacanth aproches quietly I can get nothing from that!

[Howie]

Originally posted by dudesuperior Potato slices through the weeds and makes a surprise... beams reminiscent to that of the ancient ones... the coelacanth aproches quietly I can get nothing from that! Possibly we will be able to look back on all your entries and see if there is a theme. And we have to take into consideration some may not mean anything. What time of day do you post? I already had coffee this morning so I will opt out of sitting here for three hours to get HI.

[italianmonkey]

don't think it's possible to babble in a foreign language radio 3 speaks gibberish, nothing new under the sky. and I DO feel stupid. To take the water with my brain sleeping. It's just reverse, all. I'm sleepeing in RL. stupid thing, too many radiations from this computer screen. don't like dogs wanting to procreate. Too many doors to keep closed. And how can you pass if they don't have to pass? Stupid dogs.

[italianmonkey]

neither if you point a gun on me. I hate castaneda. like erix in the park nostradamusing, and silly me absorbing cups. No thanks, spring's enough