Going No. 2 In a Public Restroom

[Mysteryhunter]

Everybody poops. Are you one of those people who only likes to poo at home, when no one else is there. I know of people who refuse to go #2 in a public restrooms. Some will but will wait until no one is there for fear of witnesses of the smelly dump. If someone comes into the bathroom after them, they will still wait until the coast is clear. Do you feel that way too? - or do you just release your hold on your stink-star & poo away!

[De-lousedInTheComatorium]

I don't take poops in public restrooms. Only at my house.

[Kushna Mufeed]

I used to only shit at home because the toilets at my high school were so disgusting. Now that I'm at University, there are less retards who don't know how to use toilets so I don't mind shitting in them. I don't have much choice when I'm there anyways. And if other people have a problem with the smell, they can get the fuck out of the washroom.

[Mysteryhunter]

When I enter a bathroom, and see someone is in a stall - I know its pretty clear they are excreting something. - it must be excruciating for people to sit there half-way through and stop. There you are, knowing that you've got a good one turtling - , (you know, when your poo has a turtle head and is kinda peering out to see if the coast is clear) Then as someone enters the bathroom , to just sit & stop the process until they leave. Sometimes, it's just healthier to be human, and give 'er.

[ExoByte]

I have a story. All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jump start the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 1 through 5 for your convenience: 1.Occupied. 2.Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one. 3.Poo on seat. 4.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat. 5.No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet. Clearly, it had to be Stall 2. I trudged back, entered, dropped trousers, and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot. I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs. Shitter about the shitty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier. Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently. Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent: (1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence. "Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??" Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride. Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible...throw up... in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching. Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's ass at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet. There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth. As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know. I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the bathroom. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.

[BlueFly]

I try to avoid the public poop.. Only in an emergency.. Great thread BTW!

[nitsuJ]

I don't poop in public because most of the time the toilet seats look like they're stained with piss... ..........that's because they are stained with piss. :]

[ClouD]

I used to never poop in public toilets, and before that never even pee. Now I do both, but don't pee in the metal things, always in a toilet (too many people watching). I actually found it erotic for some strange period of my life once. Anyway, now I choose the cleanest stall with the medium used toilet rolls so they're easy to roll. If there's no decently clean stall, I find the one with the least pee and rub it with MUCH tissue, for quite a while, then proceed to do business (and why do people pee on the seat anyway? ).

[Mes Tarrant]

^^ Um you could always cover the seat with tissue and sit on it that way. Definitely better than smearing the piss around. And guys pee on the seat because they miss? I dunno. My shit doesn't smell unless you stick your nose into the toilet bowl, and neither should yours... Jeez what do you people eat. But I try not to go in public toilets for fear of people hearing the "plop" sound as it goes into the water... I dunno that's really embarrassing for me. Baaaah. Maybe I'll get over it some day.

[LucidDreamGod]

I used to never go in public bathrooms period, then during highschool I started having to go pee a lot more then ever before for some reason. I still have avoided going No. 2 because I never really have the desire to ever do it during school hours.

[dajo]

To me it kind of differs. Sometimes i don't care at all, sometimes I try to be quiet, sometimes I'd rather wait until I'm home. But all in all, I don't really care that much, if I have to go, I will go.

[tkdyo]

I just make sure I put toilet paper on the seat...and of course it has to be flushed already

[Clairity]

I have a story. ROTFLMAO!! .

[nitsuJ]

^^ Um you could always cover the seat with tissue and sit on it that way. Definitely better than smearing the piss around. And guys pee on the seat because they miss? I dunno. My shit doesn't smell unless you stick your nose into the toilet bowl, and neither should yours... Jeez what do you people eat. But I try not to go in public toilets for fear of people hearing the "plop" sound as it goes into the water... I dunno that's really embarrassing for me. Baaaah. Maybe I'll get over it some day. If your pump is too small, or your hose is too weak, sit on the toilet so you don't piss on the seat. Guys piss on the seat because they're horrible at aiming. I'd rather hold my poopy in than use a public toilet. I think it'd be rather disgusting sitting on a public toilet seat, even if it appeared clean. But, that's just me. ;D

[Goldney]

Exobyte, that story is hilarious. God damn, motherfucking hilarious.

[Ilumirath]

But I try not to go in public toilets for fear of people hearing the "plop" sound as it goes into the water... I dunno that's really embarrassing for me. Baaaah. Maybe I'll get over it some day. Yeah, the plop sound... i also find that embarrasing

[Mysteryhunter]

Yeah, the plop sound... i also find that embarrasing It helps to flush just as soon as the first feces fall -- the flowing water helps align the turd for the ride down. Flushing helps taming the tremendous turds too. lol @ ExoByte's story <--48 hours top time record for it holding in longest so far. On another note, it's also pretty crazy how many people don't wash their hands out of public washrooms. Even in front of other people, they just head right out the door....no shame. people are just nasty.

[De-lousedInTheComatorium]

Girls poop? Wtf.

[[SomeGuy]]

I never go in public. But I will piss and make a big deal out of it, so people get all alienated and feel akward. I should probably stop that soon... And that story...oh my god. I haven't laughed that hard for a good amount of time.

[nitsuJ]

Girls poop? Wtf. LOL. When I was a little kid I thought girls didn't poop, I thought it was just a guy thing.

[[SomeGuy]]

LOL. When I was a little kid I thought girls didn't poop, I thought it was just a guy thing. Lol me too.

[Bayside]

I have a story. Lmao, this reminds me of the Tucker Max Austin Trip story. I've never laughed so hard at anything I've ever read. I'd post it, but it's pretty long. I won't go No.2 in a public restroom unless I absolutely have to, like I'm definitely going to shit my pants. Then I'll use it. Otherwise, it's just gross, and embarrassing, but at the same time, hilarious. I'd probably laugh the whole way through if somebody else was in the bathroom with me, and they'd just think I was some messed up guy.

[Goldney]

Lmao, this reminds me of the Tucker Max Austin Trip story. I've never laughed so hard at anything I've ever read. I'd post it, but it's pretty long. I thought that was just me! I was tempted to post it as well, it's pretty damn hilarious. Here's the link to all who are interested. It's right near the end for those who want to skip (I wouldn't advise it, but, eh).

[Mes Tarrant]

Exo I wasn't going to read that story because it's damn long, but I did, and man... That was fucking hilarious.

[Odd_Nonposter]

I have a story. ROTFLMAO!! . You said it! My mom started worrying about me there for a minute.