Worried that dreaming is going to take over

[MRH92]

I'm not too sure where to start here but basically I have some kind of psychosis and Ive had help since I was about 14 with this but nothing has ever made it go away. It effects my life to the point where its difficult to deal with day to day stuff and relationships. Thankfully I have managed to get my GSCES's, a couple of AS levels and in a years time a diploma in video game design. I've also been in a relationship for over 3 and a half years now so it hasn't completely taken control of my life. I wanted to try lucid dreaming just as something fun but also as a way to battle my condition. I'm terrible at social situations so I wanted to be able to build confidence in my dreams, exploring different scenerios with dream characters and so on. So far I haven't been that successful with lucid dreams but I put that down to a lot of stress that effects my ability to have decent sleep. The thing is the whole idea is starting to take over my life. I've spent a few weeks just in my room researching and reading about lucid dreaming and now its gone beyond wanting to use it as a tool to better my waking life but a way to escape it. Due to my condition I have aquired a friend. An imagenary one. Part of me wants to dream to see him and be with him. To be able to talk to him and feel him without people thinking im crazy. I want to be around all these fictions people because in many ways they have been more real to me in my life than the people around me. Im scared though that if I get good at lucid dreaming I will want to dream all the time and I'll never be happy here. My partner has already noticed that I havent been as responsive and that I've been very distant and uncaring. I already struggle to truely understand what is meant to be real and what isnt so my question before I get myself into a deeper hole is should I give up on my goals to lucid dream now? Is it safe to continue or have people, both mentally stable and not, got addicted to it? Thanks for your time. It was hard to admit this so I appreciate your comments

[CarlK]

I'm not so sure how to comment on your own mental problems, but as for lucid dreaming, here's my take. When i first heard about lucid dreaming, I acted similar to you. I wanted to know everything about it. I spent days just researching and reading about it. I kept a dream journal for several months and succeeded having a few short lucid dreams. Although I don't try as hard to lucid dream now as I used to, I still give it a go every now and then. I wouldn't think of that as an escape from reality. I would say that yes, you can maintain your real life relationships as long as you actually care for them. Lucid dreaming is just an addition to your life, not a replacement for anything else. I hope this made some sense. Good Luck.

[Marm]

I think of lucid dreaming as an exploratory tool, to better understand the human mind and even the Universe. But keep in mind that this information is relative to yourself. They are simply manifestations of your subconscious so in reality you're not actually learning anything new. I just what I'm trying to say is that you should use lucid dreaming to better understand yourself, but remember to have a real life too