Problem with apprehensiveness during first WILD attempt

[Nick481]

Hey, this is my first post on here and I tried my first WILD last night. I set my alarm clock for 6.5 hours into sleep and it woke me up, I went to pee and then went back to bed. Then I got comfortable, and started breathing deep while counting down from 100 in between breaths. The whole time I just couldn't stop being nervous/anxious of what the sensations and such from HI/SP and when they were gonna happen. I started to see a couple of slight random things (like some monkey was pictured in my mind randomly at one point) as I got down to about 40. I tried to not think about SP and what everything was gonna be like, but whenever I try not to think of something I start thinking about it more. So on top of that, the door of the room next to me opened fast because I guess someone else had to pee too. That literally made my heart jump and scared the crap out of me. After they went back to bed, I was like alright I'm gonna try this again. And the same apprehensiveness, got down about midway and then a paper in my room fell and gave me another heart attack. At that point, I was kind of frustrated and scared to try again, so I just went to bed (which also took like 30 minutes because of all that happened). So obviously tonight I'm gonna wear earplugs so nothing distracts me. But I still need to find a way to get my mind off SP because it seems nearly impossible since I have never experienced it before. Also, since I'll be wearing earplugs, I was wondering if there's a way I can use those as an anchor, or should I just do the counting down and visualizing the numbers? Thanks, Nick

[Iapetos]

The monkey thing is what I call "dream flashes" it's like entering a wandering mind state or hypnagogic imagery. When those appears I try to get to the point where it feels like I have two minds, one mind observing and the other mind is thinking those weird thoughts, it's really hard to explain anyway you can try. Just focus on those weird images and keep yourself entertained instead of focusing on the practice itself. I believe that these images are the beginning of the dreaming process. And also don't worry about sleep paralysis that happens AFTER you start dreaming, if you wake up in sleep paralysis during the night it's either and disorder called Sleep paralysis lol.. Or, wait for it - A FALSE AWAKENING. If you feel that you can't move and you start seeing scary stuff you are in a dream bed in a dream room! So make sure to use those opportunities. So just keep focusing and see where your thoughts takes you, it's after your mind that takes you to the dream, not your body, so stop focusing on the body, because then you might stay there. Too bad that so many disturbances occurred, I know how it is sometimes it's even more annoying that that, I get a lucid dream and then I hear my dad slam down the toilet seat in the physical reality, I focus on my physical body and BAM I am awake... Just keep practicing and learn what you feel in both your mind and your body while relaxing. Good luck! = )

[Nick481]

Thanks for the reply. Honestly trying to make something off of those images might help me get my mind off of what's about to happen and help me relax. I'm going to do the countdown thing again, but try to form something from those dreamlets or maybe try observing them at least as you suggested.

[Nick481]

Alright so I tried again last night, except luckily I woke up naturally about 6 hours into sleep. Did my usual routine, started counting down from 100 in between deep breaths. Once I noticed illogical thoughts happening I started to focus more on making a picture of the numbers instead of saying them. After going down from 100 then down again to like 40 I started to see rainbow like colors in random changing formations. Was this HI? But when those happened, I tried to focus on them, but they would just go away. I didn't get anywhere past that for the next 15 or 20 minutes, just the occasional shapes and colors (and at one time a scary face shaped of colors which kinda threw me off) and then they would go away. I also felt a rush through my body when I think I got far in, and a couple of voices/ noises that weren't real (I had earplugs in). Any suggestions on what to do when I get these to get to the next part?

[Iapetos]

A reality check?!

[Nick481]

Lol sounds simple enough to me. I'll try it next time right when I have those sensations.

[Robot_Butler]

You were on the right track. It is tricky to find the right balance. You want to let those dreamlets manifest, without losing awareness. Keep trying to catch them, and don't worry if they disappear. You are still getting deeper into sleep, and a more concrete dream is on its way.