Thread: premonition

Hi, this is a description of a 'typical' premonition of a type I would have had about 4 years ago. Over the next couple of years these kinds of premonitions gradually turned into weak 'shared dream' kinds of experiences, then they dwindled away and mostly stopped over the past two years.

I dreamed last night of being in middle school, but none of the people were people I had known in middle school. Half the people had black hair, half had orange. It occurred to me during the dream that the dream was also partially related to my time in undergraduate college, because the colors for my university (Oregon State) were black and orange. When I awoke in the morning the first thing I did was go to Grantland.com, and the first article was about the Cleveland Browns changing their color from brown to orange. That's the premonition. (I don't try to explain it as a coincidence or some other externally triggered synchronicity because I previously had this type of experience a couple times of week, and explored it enough to be able to rule that out for myself.) Dreaming about something that happens a few hours after the dream was typical. In this case I dreamed at about 4am and looked at my phone at about 6:30am. The dream was also the same in the old pattern in that it woke me up and I wasn't drowsy for a while afterwards.

Also like the old dreams, the main content of the dream has to do with my personal 'life' struggles. At the beginning of this dream, I observed that many of the red haired people had fake astro-turf beards, and that I alone had a real mustache/beard. Then I saw one guy with a really thin, short red mustache, like he was 14 or something, and qualified my statement. Then I thought something like 'OK', I get the point, I'll be less of an asshole about being the only guy with a real beard'. After that part of the dream I explained my perspectives on corruption in military contracting to a former classmate who was a vice admiral or similar when I ran across his profile a few years ago. After that I thought about my feelings about wanting to be accepted by those other people, as a part of their group. I respect people's right and need to have their own space without me in it, and that its natural for them to want and need to associate with people who share their interests and values more than I do. At the same time, understanding that doesn't resolve the problem for me, because there's an important part of me that doesn't know how to find connection and sharing in their world. I think the problem is not merely a matter of pride and weak self-image and self-criticism, I think I'm actually cut off in some astral or emotional sense, and there is real damage to an aspect of my psychic-body/being as a result of that isolation. I think my failure to reconcile this very well with other aspects of my life is part of the reason I haven't had very interesting dreams for the past couple of years.

The dream also had connections with my present life, for example about half the people I know have pitch black hair, none of those are able to grow much facial hair, and none of the other blond/red haired people I know choose to. I also have astro-turf for lawn in my backyard, horrible as that may sound.

I guess I'll stop there, I'm sick and need to get up early. I don't really have much new to say, or anything that might be of general interest, I just thought I'd try to share a bit on this site some more, even though I'm still quite busy with my job and family. I think what I've been doing in that regard hasn't really been working very well for my own happiness and emotional health. I realize a lot of people would consider it unwise to share private thoughts and feelings on a web site like this, but I'm emotionally exposed that way anyway and have to deal with it anyway, whether I say anything or not, that's part of my nature.