Hopeless Wanderings

My first dream involved my long lost brother, who was in a school shooting(he was the shooter) and we were dealing with the consquences.
NOTE: this is at least my 3rd dream involving my "brother". In ever dream he has something tragic happen to him. Also note: I don't have a brother, and never have, but my dad was a sperm donor, so these dreams really make me wonder...

ok, so this LD lasted SO long, it felt like HOURS. But there was so much jumping around that sadly, I've already lost most of it.

I was in some place, realizing I was lucid, staring at the wall to stabilize. Then I spun to stabilize more, and that's where the adventures begin. I went outside and looked at the stars, they were so bright that I wanted to be in them, so I jumped up once, but failed to get anywhere, the second time I jumped up and I went so high, into the universe. The earth became small and I zoomed past constellations that were lit up and connected by lines so I could see. I was going far from earth, and I realized I didn't want to be stuck somewhere in space, so I flew back down so I could see earth, and decided to fly down to Bondi Beach, Australia.
what did I do then you ask? Well, I went in the water and started drowning so that one of the hot lifeguards from the tv show Bondi Rescue would save me! And sure enough, one of them came and rescued me, and it was epic. The things I did after that I either want to keep private or don't remember enough to tell, but the lucidity lasted A LONG time. I tried to remember my goals but failed on that part.

A student discovered a new planet, we were teleported there. It was bright and colorful and beautiful, but was also inhabited by some creatures that looked like people. "wow, so there IS life on other planets," I thought. At first we were being careful exploring this planet, and some of the creatures would try to attack us. A bunch of stuff happened that I don't remember and led to ME singing on stage with Christina Grimmie and, eventually, the queen of England joined in! Whaaaaaat. It was a great moment. We were all belting out "Let It Go" from Frozen.

Even though I'm not recording my dreams on the daily, I feel like I'm getting better at being more aware while dreaming.

E. I was in this park, there was this black picnic table and this guy named.. Justin? He seemed like he needed help. So I went over to him and asked him if he was alright. He said he was completely fine, nothing wrong with him. There was a black journal notebook on the table. I picked it up and screened through it, looking for a note. But all that was there were complex math problems. I just got the feeling that soon he would not be okay, so I told him that I would be around, and he can call me any time. I then flew upwards, swimming towards the sky.

In a fragment, I was on a tall ledge inside some kind of mall or building. I was there with Brittany, my mom, and Brittany's mom. All of a sudden, both of our moms jumped off the ledge. For a second I felt like time stopped, my mom was dead, my life was over. And then I realized, hey, this is stupid. This is a dream. So I walk away to go do something fun but lose it.

Nice to have a couple LDs since I've been having trouble with this lately, even if they were short.

I was suddenly getting married to my boyfriend. The whole thing was set up in no time, on the upper floor of some building in a city. I was in my wedding dress facing my boyfriend, red roses in my hand. I was thinking, "I didn't even get to walk down the isle, or plan anything for this wedding. It's just happening. And what's up with the red roses bouquet?" So, in no time, we are "married." He goes in to hug me and I'm thinking, what are you doing, we're supposed to kiss. So I kiss him, and everyone claps, but its a pathetic kiss, so I kiss him two more times followed by more clapping. I realize he didn't even give me a ring, so I make a mental note to search for the cheap ring he gave me earlier in the year somewhere in my bedroom(in RL he actually found it on the ground somewhere lol). So, we're married. I'm standing next to the big windows that look out onto the city next to my sister and the dream starts fading. That's when I realize, this is a dream. I decide to ditch the whole scene and fly out through the windows and over the city. I see two buildings where there are people standing on top of them. I am searching for someone or something to do. I land on one of the buildings with the people, I can feel the dream being unstable. The people are acting like they're at the beach, playing in the sand, and there are kids, but they are on top of a 70 story + building. I don't find what I'm looking for and wake up.

I think this was another DEILD. I am in my old house, I go outside. It's night time. I thought flying was fun in the first LD so decide to do it again and get somewhat high but then wake up again.

Nice to have a couple LDs since I've been having trouble with this lately, even if they were short.

I was suddenly getting married to my boyfriend. The whole thing was set up in no time, on the upper floor of some building in a city. I was in my wedding dress facing my boyfriend, red roses in my hand. I was thinking, "I didn't even get to walk down the isle, or plan anything for this wedding. It's just happening. And what's up with the red roses bouquet?" So, in no time, we are "married." He goes in to hug me and I'm thinking, what are you doing, we're supposed to kiss. So I kiss him, and everyone claps, but its a pathetic kiss, so I kiss him two more times followed by more clapping. I realize he didn't even give me a ring, so I make a mental note to search for the cheap ring he gave me earlier in the year somewhere in my bedroom(in RL he actually found it on the ground somewhere lol). So, we're married. I'm standing next to the big windows that look out onto the city next to my sister and the dream starts fading. That's when I realize, this is a dream. I decide to ditch the whole scene and fly out through the windows and over the city. I see two buildings where there are people standing on top of them. I am searching for someone or something to do. I land on one of the buildings with the people, I can feel the dream being unstable. The people are acting like they're at the beach, playing in the sand, and there are kids, but they are on top of a 70 story + building. I don't find what I'm looking for and wake up.

I think this was another DEILD. I am in my old house, I go outside. It's night time. I thought flying was fun in the first LD so decide to do it again and get somewhat high but then wake up again.

This is all one dream but it’s probably out of order.

I was going to China with Niki. She had told me all about it, and had mentioned a hill that people would slide down for fun. It slowly came into view, and was a big city with buildings everywhere and medium-size mountains in the background, along with a giant hill on which people were sliding down. It looked quite fun. Then, while walking down the streets, I jumped up in the air and started to fly. I went higher and higher and soon was over the freeway. People were noticing and it was causing a traffic jam because everyone was looking at me. In fact, people were getting off the freeway just to get on again and go the other direction just so they could go the same direction as me and follow me. I was having a grand ole’ time flying up and down and all around.

I appeared in the middle of the ocean. There were big waves, and everytime a wave came I would go underwater to avoid it. Robin Williams was floating in the ocean next to me. He said something like, “in order to see the whales you have to ride out the waves” and it sounded, oddly, very meaningful coming from him. So I did just that, I rode out the next wave and a panda-colored whale stuck it’s head out of the wave. (wtf Melatonin)

Me and Niki were at the library and she was doing her homework. She knew about my new power so I asked her if she wanted to do her homework “somewhere else” and I was kinda shy about it because I was still unsure of it. She said “not really” but I convinced her and we went to the UCLA library(which I just assumed would be a big fancy library). We appeared in the parking lot and there we met this popular sorority girl who tried to show us around and give orientation because she thought we were new students, but I wanted to leave and go have more fun.

I met this popular bitchy girl, who I was supposed to help with something. I think she killed someone and I was like screw this and went off on my own

I was outside with my cat and we were going to fly home, so I jumped into the air and she was kinda flying next to me. I realized this was a dream but was having so much fun that I didn't care. I was getting really good at flying, it didn’t take me as long to get high up in the air and I was able to actually fly around(instead of just “swimming” up).

Oh hey long time no dream post.. I've had so many memorable dreams I've wanted to record but been too lazy to record them. Now finally..

I "woke up" in my bedroom. I took a pill(that I had stopped taking in RL) and then started feeling extremely dizzy. I went into the bathroom and checked the mirror and saw bumps on my cheeks. I checked my body and it had spread all over. My whole body was red and covered in bumps. I realized that it was a rash from the pill that I took. I considered going to the hospital because it was so bad but figured it would clear up as soon as the med wore off. I went to the kitchen and let the dog out and noticed there was snow on the ground. "Already?!?" I thought(it's the middle of October) but I kinda liked it.

I "woke up" in my bed again, and still felt kinda weird so I looked down at my hands. They were pretty normal but I just knew that I was dreaming. I went to the living room and tried to summon A. It wasn't working(I've tried to summon this person many times before) but then a pair of hands with latex gloves appeared in the corner. It was dark so I couldn't see who they belonged to. I "woke up" but was still dreaming. I decided to try to fall back asleep(I didn't realize that I actually still was asleep) and I kinda started spinning in circles, which brought me to my second lucid.

In this dream within a dream, I already knew I was dreaming and didn't have to test it, so I got out of bed again and went back to the living room, which was dark and painted red. I focused on things to stabilize, like a label from a can, which helped. I tried again to summon A but had no luck, so I jumped in the air and started to fly. I was still in the house so I went outside and jumped again and flew(swam) up above the clounds. I started to come down but them decided to go even further up. I zoomed up and up, into space and throughout the universe, watching everything get smaller and smaller as some kind of majestic, movie-soundtrack-like music played. I saw galaxies and big planets in bright candy colors against the backdrop of cotten candy pink space. Afterwards, I retured back to Earth but was still above the clouds. I was going to try to go to a roller boogie next but woke up.

Wow, two nights in a row of remembering dreams! yay! I wrote in my daily journal last night, so maybe that really is helping.
I'm thinking of finally changing the font color of lucids since they're kinda hard to read. But I don't want to go through and change every single one, so I'm not sure. Too lazy.

I was in the bathroom at a huge hotel taking a shower when my hand started to feel funny. I looked down and saw that one of my fingers was short. The top half was missing and it was a stub. I was dreaming. It felt so real and vivid that it took me awhile to believe that. I was really excited so I stared at my hands to stabilize and then stared at the wall. I could see so much detail in everything. I went outside the bathroom and into the main lobby of the hotel. The ceiling was about 8 stories high so I decided to fly up. I spread my arms and began "swimming" up. I went really fast.(Usually it takes me a long time to get high.. haha get high.. you know what I mean). I made it to the ceiling and then floated back down. I wasn't sure what to do next so I decided to go outside and explore. Then I lost it.

I was in high school in Ms. Red-Head's English Class(I forgot her name. The senior year teacher). Some girl in the class had written a book that we were discussing. We were sitting in a huge circle of desks and I was next to Niki, who also wrote a book. I got rid of my copy of the book we were looking at because, frankly, I just didn't give a shit. I tossed Niki's book across the room to these two girls because I wanted more people to hear her book instead of the other girl's. The teacher found out that someone had tossed a book across the room and asked who it was. Several students pointed at me and I raised my hand, looking guilty. The teacher then told me to gather up my stuff and choose a room to sit quietly in. I chose a room that was connected to the classroom. I was actually quite happy to leave the class. There was a couch in the room and I began to set up my computer on it. I realized I didn't have a copy of the book we were discussing.
"Can I have a book?" I asked.
"That will be 3 dollars and 14 cents," the teacher replied.

-fragment at my house offering Dani if she wants bagels and cream cheese because she was hungry

-at some point I heard God's voice saying, "Come with me."

I'm getting closer and closer to my task. I really hope next time I can actually do it. I want it so bad!

super short DEILD

I started waking up and realized I was dreaming. I felt myself waking up but tried anyway. I was in a beautiful field with a bunch of trees in the background. I decided to fly, which is the first thing I always do. I jumped up off the ground effortlessly and flew into the air. I think I might have seen a rainbow. After only a few seconds of flying, I thought to myself, "okay. This isn't what I'm here for." I closed my eyes and pictured where I wanted to be. When I opened them, I ended up in the shower(no water running) in my house. So close! I woke soon after.

I'm still trying to do a task in a lucid but I haven't gotten there yet. I'm getting close though

7/6/13 DILD

I was in a basement at someone’s house with Niki. It was storming and there were lots of tornados. I realized that this couldn’t be real, this must be a dream. For a second I thought over if I really wanted to have a lucid or just see where the dream would take me, but then I realized that there was something I wanted to do. I slowly made my way outside, careful to not lose lucidity. When I got outside there were dark clouds and the sun was peeking through. I thought it would be nice to see a rainbow, so I waved my hands across the sky and two or three rainbows appeared. Now I had to try to go back to that place from my dreams. I closed my eyes and pictured it and really focused hard but when I opened my eyes I hadn’t moved. I either woke up or lost lucidity.

7/10/13 DILD

I was following Rachel around this water area and she would sort of wade around in the water and then come out before it got too deep. She started saying things like, “I can do this!” and did something impossible(I don’t remember what). This got me thinking.. I’m in a lucid! “Hey, watch THIS!” I told her. “I can fly!” I put my arms in front of me and imagined me flying and I took off. At first I started to fall back to the ground like I always do, but I visualized flying high and it worked. I soared around up and down like superman. I have NEVER been able to fly with that much control before. The dream was extremely stable and vivid, probably one of the most stable ones I’ve had. I knew I had a task to complete. I thought, “okay I’ll just fly a bit more and then I will try to do my task,” and I was confident that I would be able to do it. Then, “SUNSHINE LOLLIPOPS!” My phone goes off and wakes me up. SO PISSED.

Me and my friend Ali were going to be in the dorms together for the new semester. We were surrounded by guys I didn't know and one of them was carrying a bottle with a beta fish inside it. There was hardly any water in the bottle and I felt sorry for the poor fish so I told the guy that I would fix up his male-shift fish tank of his. He agreed so we would go over to his dorm first so I could help him. We got in the car and when we arrived we parked three buildings back and had to walk all the way to his dorm. We went inside he and his buddy's dorm. It was pretty big and had a small kitchen and two round tables in it. I hoped that me and Ali's dorm would look like this. There were new roommates checking in around us and meeting each other and I felt like I was missing out back at our dorm since we hadn't even been there yet. So I prepared another cup to put the fish in while I cleaned the original bottle and said to the guy, "you should really to to the dollar store and get a nice fish bowl that would only cost you..." I was cut off by something. Next thing I know, we are in the parking lot(me, the fish guy, and three other guys) and someone was chasing us. I could later see that this man was Matt, the police officer from the show Heroes. He chased down and, using his powers, killed the first four guys as I was running away towards the dorms. I turned around and there he was right in front of me! I was terrified but I knew I had powers too so I jumped up and flew backwards away from him into the night sky. I appeared back in the dorms, this time in me and Ali's dorm which we shared with some other girls. I didn't want him to find us so I shut the door and closed my eyes and when I opened them our room had been switched to a different floor. One girl was like "hmm did the number to our room change?" The next thing I remember was being on the balcony on the upstairs of the school. The bad guy and his friends were holding professor Suresh from Heroes over the ledge, threatening to drop him 5 stories onto the main walkway of the school. I was up there also and they were holding me but I managed to escape and flew down off the balcony and prepared to catch Suresh. A crowd was drawn now that they saw me fly. I was worried that they wouldn't drop him now since they knew I'd catch him and instead kill him another way. I began to fly back up there and then woke up.

It was night-time and I was running away from something, no one in particular, just life in general maybe. I felt like I could go on running forever, even when I began to pick up speed. It felt amazing. I was only a few blocks from my house by the new fancy houses when I heard a really loud noise coming from a tv in one of those fancy houses. I looked through the window of the house on the right corner by the four way stop, where the street goes to more fancy houses and a dead end. From a distance I could see the flashes of the tv through the window. I wanted to get a closer look, so I peered in the windows from not too far away. I saw the biggest tv I've ever seen, it was from floor to ceiling, and the ceiling was super high up, cathedral style. In this room were many different expensive things, like work out machines, arcade games, etc. Then somehow I found myself inside the house, staring at this boy around my age. He saw me and started freaking out. I didn't know what to do but then I realized I was invisable so that only he could see me. As he ran to get his sister I checked the place out a little and trie to run on the treadmill because I still wanted to keep running. His sister came in and said she didn't see anything, so it was just me and him. I decided that I was going to follow him from now on throughout his life, watch his every move, and help him if necessary. I didn't get to do much before I woke up though. I remember his parents came home and his dad was lecturing him about something while I was puting on some of his clothes.

I think I dreamt this because of a good book(Certain Slant of Light) I read about a ghost following a person around until they died. It was a very interesting book, and it made for a very interesting dream

In another dream, I was by the beach with a friend and we were looking for an area with high waves so we could body surf, or body board.. or something. I didn't feel like walking to the other side of the beach where the huge waves usually are so I decided to test out the water right next to us. I took a step in and watched the waves come in, observing them. But they were bigger than I thought and they took over me and dragged me out and under the water. I flailed my arms and screamed for help as I swallowed the salty sea water and tried to stay above the water.

Then, a lucid from a few nights ago that I don't remember much from because I didn't take the time to record it till now.
I was jumping up and down, trying to stay up in the air and get higher and higher. Then I noticed this guy my age following me. He had black or brown hair and he was really tall, skinny, and cute. I kept trying to jump higher than him, flapping my arms up and down faster and faster and trying to propell myself up. I sort of knew I was asleep from the start, so I casually mentioned to him "We are in a dream." and he agreed. "What should we do now?" I asked. We couldn't come up with anything cool to do so we just kept walking/flying around. I don't know if I was 100% sure I knew I was dreaming because I thought he was really there with me dreaming. Later in the dream we spend more time together and we climbed a tree and he kissed me. Then I woke up :/

So last night I had a really long(I woke up twice and the dream kept on when I fell back asleep each time), really depressing dream. I don't want to post it on here so I'm just going to give the basic plot of it up until the lucid.

Basically, someone(J) close to me died and throughout the dream I was crying hysterically and blaming myself. this went on for a very long time, it seemed like a week. It was very depressing, but honestly in a way I kind of liked it because it's not often you get dreams with that much strong emotion.

Anyways, I started thinking "What if this was just a dream?" and "Wait, this has to be real! This really happened!" and then "But whenever something really bad like this happens, it's usually a dream.." and that's where it got to me. So I looked at my hands to do a reality check. They looked normal(they usually have more or less fingers) but I still knew I was dreaming. I was inside my house at the time and decided to go outside onto my front porch. At first I was starting to lose it but them I was really calm and everything was very clear(this might have been one of the clearest ones I've ever had). The sky was a dark blue, almost night but not quite. I wasn't sure what to do, but I wanted to summon someone. I couldn't think of a specific person, so I looked over by the tree in the middle of the yard and said "Show me an angel!" and concentrated hard. At first, nothing was happening so I shouted it again. Then a glowing white figure appeared. It was an angel, who kind of looked like Clarence from "It's A Wonderful Life"(which I just happened to watch a few days ago) except this angel actually had its wings. I wanted some answers, to what, I don't know, but I just needed some answers! But the angel only mumbled something I couldn't understand and wouldn't say anything else. I got frustrated and decided to attempt to take off into the night sky. I took a leap from the porch and flew up a few feet, only to float back down because I couldn't stay up in the air. I don't know what happened after that..

Me and Niki and maybe some other people were at the park at night just hanging out and swinging on the swings(do it all the time in real life lol). I wanted to get home not too late because I had to do something the next morning, I don't remember what. But we just stayed there and fooled around and it was getting earlier and earlier in the morning. Niki was about to call her mom to pick her up but I told her that I would take her home, because I had an idea of my own. I would fly us home. I tried to practice a little and jumped high in the air, waving my arms and "swimming" through the air trying to stay up. Then somehow me and Niki were off, high up in the air. At this point I think I knew I was dreaming, because I thought "it's hard to imagine what houses and streets are down there.. I just can't remember.." like I was creating the scene trying to find our way home. It just wasn't working out though so we came back down. Before I knew it, the sun had risen in the morning and it was already 6 a.m. I thought I would be extremely tired and it would ruin my day, which was true at first, but then it went away and I felt like I had gotten a full night of sleep.

In another dream I was in the park again, swinging next to this girl from youtube and there was a baby on the ground. He was a special baby that was really smart, and scientists would love to study special babies like that, so in order to study them, one scientist person came up to the baby and put some wierd gas on it that froze it or something. The baby looked dead and the girl next to me got off the swing, ran over to the baby, and started crying, although I knew he wasn't dead. Apparently she didn't know that, so she pulled the baby up by it's arm, but the arm broke right off and blood gushed out. Now the baby was for sure going to die..

I was at my house with my sister and my cat laying next to me. Me and the cat were talking to each other. I was asking it questions and she was answering me. It finally occured to me that not many cats in the world can talk. I told my sister about it, and how we could make tons of money with a talking cat! Stella(cat) had a girly voice and it was kind of intimidating talking to her because she seemed to know a lot. I don't remember what we talked about.

Me and Niki were in a park at night just having some fun when two prissy girly-girls came by us and started hanging around the park also. They were sort of following us, which got us really annoyed, so we decided to do something do get rid of them. For some reason I had a green toy whistle in my hand, and I thought that I could blow in it and scare the girls away. It actually worked. I would blow the whistle and the girls would freak out and think it was a werewolf or something, and as they were freaking out we would get further and further away from them. We did this until we came out of the park and I saw a beautiful night sky beyond us. I jumped up in the air and tried to fly. Although it was hard at first, I managed to get up pretty high a few times and I had a blast! Then I came down on top of a hill and all was dark except for the night sky. Then lights appeared in the sky, beautiful shapes made out of blue, red, and yellow colors. It was so amazing I told Britt, who also happened to be there among other random people looking on with us, to take some pictures. She got out her camera and shot away as all of us stared in awe. Twas a wonderful night.

Me and Niki were in a park at night just having some fun when two prissy girly-girls came by us and started hanging around the park also. They were sort of following us, which got us really annoyed, so we decided to do something do get rid of them. For some reason I had a green toy whistle in my hand, and I thought that I could blow in it and scare the girls away. It actually worked. I would blow the whistle and the girls would freak out and think it was a werewolf or something, and as they were freaking out we would get further and further away from them. We did this until we came out of the park and I saw a beautiful night sky beyond us. I jumped up in the air and tried to fly. Although it was hard at first, I managed to get up pretty high a few times and I had a blast! Then I came down on top of a hill and all was dark except for the night sky. Then lights appeared in the sky, beautiful shapes made out of blue, red, and yellow colors. It was so amazing I told Britt, who also happened to be there among other random people looking on with us, to take some pictures. She got out her camera and shot away as all of us stared in awe. Twas a wonderful night.